I need a shoulder to cry on

  1. Maybe it isn't as big of a deal as I think. I clocked into work this morning and rec'd an email message that my very bestest friend was on her way to Texas. I never got to say goodbye. We are sisters that were seperated at birth. She always gave me a hug when I wasn't feeling well, always sending me flowers when I was in the hospital, always pushing me and telling me that I can be a nurse.

    I don't know if her hubby is home yet from Iraq, but I'm guessing he's coming home soon. The way the email sounded like she had 24 hours to get there to meet his plane. I left a message on her voice mail but haven't heard from her. She's the only person (and the perpetrator) who knows my secrets. I can always go to visit her in Texas but school is starting in Jan. and of course I want to give them their space to get, shall I say, reaquainted. They've been married for 3 years and have lived together for only 5 months.

    I've been crying all day. I have other good friends, but none of them share the same likes and dislikes as she and I did. I didn't even get a chance to wish her luck. When we went to S Korea to visit her husband her and I barely knew each other. We found out after 28 hours on a plane that we were made from the same mold.

    I didn't even get a chance to tell her my good news about school and my apt. No one else I know is going to spend hours and hours in a bookstore and Victoria's Secret without complaining.

    Think I'll go to bed and try calling her again tomorrow.
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  2. 17 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    ((((Bethin))))

    Are you saying she's moving to Texas? Or she's just taking a trip and you're going to miss her?
  4. by   muffie
    count your blessings that you actually have a friend like that
    you will have her forever
    it is also a very happy time for her
    my bgf is in another country and another time zone
    we see each other once a year or less but when we reconnect it is like time has not passed
    so you will be going to school and you got an apt. ?
    that is great
    you will be very busy in jan. !
  5. by   EricJRN
    I'm really sorry to hear about that. I'm not a fan of long, drawn-out goodbyes, but the sudden ones sure aren't any fun either. Once you get settled with school and all, Texas really can be a fun little trip.
  6. by   bethin
    Quote from Tweety
    ((((Bethin))))

    Are you saying she's moving to Texas? Or she's just taking a trip and you're going to miss her?

    Nope, she's moving to Texas. Her husband is in the Army and is expected back from Iraq (yeah) and he's stationed at Ft Hood. From there it could be Germany, Colorado, who knows. She always had positive words for me, the pessimist. We made a pact, that wherever she goes, I will visit her. We even had the notion when he first went to Iraq that we could catch a plane to Jordan and then to Baghdad to see him ($3500 roundtrip but she's my best friend and I'd do anything for her). He quickly nixed that idea though I would have gone if she wanted to. That's how close we are.
  7. by   aimeee
    Its hard when you have to part from a really good friend. I've found they are rare and valuable in life.
  8. by   bethin
    Quote from aimeee
    Its hard when you have to part from a really good friend. I've found they are rare and valuable in life.
    You're absolutely right aimeee. I'm straight, but finding a true friend is like finding a soul mate.

    I finally stopped crying. I think I cried for an hour.
  9. by   JentheRN05
    It sucks - I know the feeling. I had a very very good friend in nursing school. We were so close it felt like we were separated at birth. But one day I saw a side of her that I had never seen before (and I had spent entire days and nights at her house). She was abusive to her son. That day turned the tide. We were never friends again. There was a month that I cried. I did the right thing (at least in my perspective) and took her son home with me so she could calm down. When I returned her son she was so angry with me. I never heard from her again. Which was so painful. I hadn't ever been such close friends with anyone in my life. It still hurts, but I have tried several times to re-connect with her. To no avail.
    The only good thing that happened out of it, is that she never hit her son again after that. I found out in the 3 hours i had him that he had been brought up with her flipping completely out and throwing him into walls, hitting him with belts (not on the behind), and having things thrown at him. He thought this was normal - that it was a normal punishment! I explained to him that it was NEVER acceptable to throw a child into a wall. If she were to ever do that to him again, he was to call the police. The look on his face was shocking (he really had no idea this was abuse). I talked to him at her graduation (yeah I went to it - I had promised her I would before this happened) she hadn't hit him since.
    So - even though it was painful for me to let it go. It did have some good come from it.

    Your friend is getting to spend time with her husband. As close as you are, a husband is someone that you will be spending your life with, have children with and love forever. You can always still talk on the phone, or fly out to see her. Be glad it didn't end like mine did.
  10. by   nursemary9
    Hi Beth,

    I can feel your hurt. I'm so sorry for you.
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS, BETH))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    It is difficult to be separated so quickly and without warning.
    However, if you are such good friends, your friendship will continue. In our world today, we have such fabulous new ways to communicate with our loved ones. Not only do we have long-distance calling, but our E-Mail makes communicating accross the miles so easy.

    Look at all of us. Tho we have never even met, we communicate several times a day. I know it;s not the same as in-person, but at least you can "talk" to her.

    You are so correct that true friends are rare & valuable. Hopefully your friendship will be sustained. I have a wonderful friend--my best-friend--we were room mates in nursing school 40 yrs ago---we sometimes don't communicate for months at a time, but when we do, it is just like yesterday. We always seem to "know" when the other really needs the other.
    I know this doesn't really help you, but at least maybe it can reassure you that you can still have a best friend---just accross the miles.

    Please, Beth, be happy for her, since she will be with her husband. Also, Hopefully you will be a good friend to her & offer HER reassurance. maybe she is scared & unhappy with the move & maybe you can be t he strong one & help her thru it. This could be the stressor that could make your friendship even stronger then ever.

    You know, you always have our support & even tho it's not the same, maybe it can help.

    Mary Ann
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Quote from bethin
    Maybe it isn't as big of a deal as I think. I clocked into work this morning and rec'd an email message that my very bestest friend was on her way to Texas. I never got to say goodbye. We are sisters that were seperated at birth. She always gave me a hug when I wasn't feeling well, always sending me flowers when I was in the hospital, always pushing me and telling me that I can be a nurse.

    I don't know if her hubby is home yet from Iraq, but I'm guessing he's coming home soon. The way the email sounded like she had 24 hours to get there to meet his plane. I left a message on her voice mail but haven't heard from her. She's the only person (and the perpetrator) who knows my secrets. I can always go to visit her in Texas but school is starting in Jan. and of course I want to give them their space to get, shall I say, reaquainted. They've been married for 3 years and have lived together for only 5 months.

    I've been crying all day. I have other good friends, but none of them share the same likes and dislikes as she and I did. I didn't even get a chance to wish her luck. When we went to S Korea to visit her husband her and I barely knew each other. We found out after 28 hours on a plane that we were made from the same mold.

    I didn't even get a chance to tell her my good news about school and my apt. No one else I know is going to spend hours and hours in a bookstore and Victoria's Secret without complaining.

    Think I'll go to bed and try calling her again tomorrow.
    (((Bethin))) I am so sorry. Do try to call her again until you reach her. I feel for you.
  12. by   NurseyBaby'05
    Beth-:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

    I'm so sorry! I have a friend like that and she's the only thing that will be keeping me in Pittsburgh after dh's parents pass into the next life. Not my brothers and sisters, not dh's family, just her. Dh wants to stay in town, but I know I could push the issue after his parents pass, but I won't if she's still here. She is truly my sister from another mother. My heart hurts just thinking about if we had to be miles apart. No wonder you are heartbroken.
  13. by   VickyRN
    (((((((Bethin))))))) So sorry. True friends are a rare treasure indeed. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
  14. by   jnette
    awwww, Bethin.... your dismay and pain is palpable. I know you've been dreading this, and now not even a goodbye.

    I am so sorry, Hon.

    You WILL see her again, you KNOW that. By all means call her and you can pour your heart out over missing the opportunity to see her off or at least tell her goodbye in person.

    She knows your heart, and she knows this is hurting you. She is with you in spirit, Hon.

    ((((((((((((((((bethin))))))))))))))))

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