I might be going to jail soon

  1. For killing my coworkers.

    "My patient's BP was 70/30 so I just bolused him with a liter of IV fluids"....Me: "Ummmm.....do you think you could have consulted with me first and we could have called the doc, as you are an LPN and the patient has total renal failure????????????? My license dangling on the line here!!!"

    Next nurse to CNA, what was my midnight accucheck? CNA "what accucheck, you didn't tell me about an accucheck!" Me: "Ummm....it's not the CNA's fault you didn't tell her about an accucheck on this new admission.......AND IT'S NOW 3:00AM WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW ASKING!!!!"

    Next nurse to me "Did you order my IV pump I need to start my fluids".........."You mean that IV pump you asked me to order six hours ago for your patient that has n/v and dehydration and seriously needs some hydration as p.o. is contraindicated, you mean that IV pump that's probably been floating up and down dumpwaith FOR SIX HOURS!"

    Maybe you should just take away my license now.
  2. 62 Comments

  3. by   gwenith
    Okay now Breathe in, hold, Breathe out, hold, Breathe in, hold.............

    Repeat after me

    I will not kill them

    I will not kill them

    I will not kill them

    At least for today!!!

    ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Tweety mate - I would send you a kiss as well but I don't want to make your SO jealous!!!

    Hope that brightened your day!!!
  4. by   leslie :-D
    i say kill them.

    i'm sorry tweety, my sick humor. but....'momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my momma said'

    i hope you know what song i'm singing or i just made a total idiot of myself.

    it sounds like your staff needs a little meeting. noogies to you.

  5. by   adrienurse
    a nice blood curdling bellow in the linen closet might help you feel better, and then write them up -- that always makes me feel better
  6. by   nursedawn67

    I have had days where I felt like doing this and I think....."I wonder how long I would get for smacking them a good one?" Then I come back to reality and realize it somehow would get blamed all on me. So we come here we vent and we have alot of fun and realize we are not alone.
  7. by   H ynnoD
    Your fellow employees also have excessive brain Farts Sounds like some of the guys I work with....
  8. by   jnette


    Sorry Tweets ! Things can be scary sometimes...
  9. by   CAMMIERN
    TWEETS, i feel for ya, some days ya fell like the ones ya work with will be making the tryouts for the "SPECIAL OLYMPICS". i had a pt the other day that was a brittle diabetic, and dietary sends an all sugar coated dinner, well i call and ask if they know thats he's a diabetic "WRITTEN ON MENU" :imbar and they say ohhh, we didn't know, well i procedd to tell them and they send another tray with they same tray with even higher sugar caoted foods on it, well the I STARTED RANTED ABOUT THEM ALL NEEDING HELMUTS AND WINDOW PANES TO LICK AND THEN I NOTICE THAT THE DIETARY ASST. MANAGER IS STANDING THERE, AND I PROCEED TO TELL HER MY STORY ABOUT HIM BEING DIABETIC AND THE FOOD HE RCVD. AND SHE STATED " OHHH, SO THAT MEANS HE CAN'T HAVE ANY SUGAR TYPE OF FOOD THEN, I JUST LOOKED AT HER IN DISBELIEF ! THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO.......:uhoh21:
  10. by   NursesRmofun
    Maybe we could collectively get your bail money for you! Heehee.
  11. by   RNwendy
    if you hide the bodies well enough nobody would ever know!
  12. by   jnette
    Quote from rnwendy
    if you hide the bodies well enough nobody would ever know!

    here ya go, tweets.......... have a cold one !
  13. by   NursesRmofun
  14. by   RNwendy
    if i tell you a real good hiding place for the bodies, will you knock off my staff next??? :chuckle