the header says it all, I can't do it anymore. I love the art of nursing, but I am so burned out on the job of nursing, the admin crap, the hospital sucking the life out of me. I honestly feel like the hospitla I work at is slowly and surely draining me of all I have. I know I'm depressed. I'm pretty sure I'm developing Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I already have asthma... and I'm only 24 going on enternity.
My poor poor husband. My poor dogs. I care about everyone except me. I don't have anymore strength to give myself. I cry for no reason sometimes. I feel so overwhelmed, so unloved, so everything except what I should. Healthy.
I don't know why I'm typing this hear excpet hubby isn't home, the dogs just look at me like "It's okay mommy, we love you" and work just keeps sucking life away. I just figured there's got to be a nruse out there, somewhere, that has felt the desperation I am feeling right now. This all encompassing emptiness. This is the worst feeling I can imagine. So alone. So, so...... not me.
God if I was a nurse looking at me I'd be calling me a looney. I've already decided to go see my NP tomorrow... at least talk to her about my stomach aches, I can't even eat a slice of bread without my stomach cramping... and the farting has got to go... I can't be doing a nursing assessment
and running out of the room every 2 mintues so I don't killy my patients with the gas.
Don't say for me to leave my job, I can't. That would be going AWOL. I know alot of work is JCAHO comign next week, but I've felt this way for a long time, and the stress at work is just making it more apparent.
Thanks for reading... I feel better....