I am so depressed right now and future looks hopeless

  1. Hey guys, I am usually not one to post threads like this, if anything I am usually one to support others, you know, "look at the bright side", blah blah blah.... Anyway, in my third quarter of nursing school right now but I haven't gone to class in a week, missed my first day of clinicals on OB, and I just have no motivation to barely get out of bed. I have gained so much weight recently also, wish I was one of those people that LOST their appetite but oh well. I keep dwelling on the past when I was in the Navy, the fun I used to have, the people I used to know, blah, blah, blah. I was recently started on Lexapro when I talked to my doctor about what was going on, but so far, I really haven't noticed a difference. My father is really ill and I know he is going to pass within the year, my mom also has health problems and is in total denial about everything. The last time my dad was in ICU, I had to go to a cemetary and take pictures of availible plots so my mom could look at them, she just couldn't deal with it, but like it is fair to me? I also had to call different funeral homes to find out about availible plans, all while my mom is sitting on her butt in lala land. Did I mention she is also addicted to narcotics? She DOES have legite medical problems which is how she got addicted in the first place. I have no job, and when I did have a job, I ended up quitting them after a while because I am just not motivated to do anything even though I need the money, does this make sense? I just feel so hopeless about everything. My friend Stacey lives in Safety Harbor, Florida and has offered to me to come live with her and she could get me a job with her working in a doctors office. I would love to go, but I feel so trapped with both of my parents being ill and my mom in denial land half the time. I am also an only child and we are not real close to my mom's family due to alot of family history like molestation and my mother being disowned when she got pregnant with me.
    Anyway, thanks for letting me vent and if no one responds, it's okay, I just needed to get this off my chest.
  2. 40 Comments

  3. by   LilgirlRN
    Sorry you're feeling so down Navy, seems to be a common affliction among nurses. We get so busy caring for everyone else that we forget to care about ourselves. Perhaps not moving to FL, but just a visit would help, ya know just get away for awhile. You can take a quarter off school and always go back later. The way you are describing how you feel makes me think that you aren't up to taking care of patients and/or learning how to do so. You need to take care of you and no one else for at least a few days. See if you can get away from everything and regroup. I hope you feel better soon, Wendy
  4. by   jnette
    Wow, Navy... !

    I had no idea all this was going on with you.. and I'm so very sorry !

    I really hate this for you, and you do seem like you're between the proverbial rock and hard place with your dad's illness and mother's denial.

    I truly don't know how to advise you... other than simply doing what needs to be done... there is no way around it. Depressing, to be sure.

    And I have a feeling this is why there is such lack of motivation... depression.

    Have you anyone there at ALL you can discuss your situation with.. school counselor or therapist/counselor.. to get the emotional support you need?

    I'd hate to see you quit now.. you've come so far. And yet, I,too, believe it might be wise to put school on "hold" temporarily until the family situation is resolved.

    It does appear you need just a little sunshine in your life right now... a visit away from it all would be refreshing.. perhaps help you to see things more clearly and put them in perspective.. help you to prioritize those demands on your life right now... figure out what's a "must do" and what can wait.. what is truly important and what is merely unwanted stress.

    We're here for you, Navy, and feel free to vent, Kid. :kiss

    Hope someone else has something more constructive to offer. (((HUGS)))
  5. by   prmenrs
    Keep taking those meds, if you don't see an improvement in ~ 2 wks ( a looonnng time, I know), call that doc back, you may need to switch meds. I agree, you may need a time out, take off school for a term, go visit your friend in FL to have some fun!!

    You WILL get thru this! I know you are strong!
  6. by   elkpark
    Although I am not making a formal diagnosis, it certainly sounds as if you may be significantly depressed (as you noted in your title). Your school must have some sort of Student Health services or referral service which could connect you with formal mental health services. Your doctor must also think so, since he? she? started you on an antidepressant. There have been several studies which have indicated, though, that medication in combination with "talking therapy" is significantly more effective in treating depression than either medication or therapy alone. You didn't mention how long you've been feeling this way, but, if it is more than a few weeks, it would be a v. good idea to get an evaluation from a psychiatrist, psych CS, or psych NP -- someone who specializes in mental health and can guide you to a competent therapist in addition to managing medication.

    It is much more common than most people realize for nursing students to become seriously depressed at some point in nursing school -- the good news, though, is that depression is v. "treatable." The danger is in trying to cover up, keep going, and not seek real help. You may also want to approach someone (faculty or administration) at your school with whom you feel comfortable, and let them know what is going on with you -- better to take a leave of absence for health reasons, if necessary, and return and finish the program later, than to just let things continue to spiral downhill and perhaps end up dropping out or flunking out down the road ...

    Please do what is necessary to take care of yourself and stay healthly during this difficult time in your life --
  7. by   jnette
    Quote from prmenrs
    Keep taking those meds, if you don't see an improvement in ~ 2 wks ( a looonnng time, I know), call that doc back, you may need to switch meds. I agree, you may need a time out, take off school for a term, go visit your friend in FL to have some fun!!

    You WILL get thru this! I know you are strong!
    Yes.. remember it can take up to 6 weeks before you begin to notice improvement with the meds !!!
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes

    I have been there, believe me. I know this feeling. Like premenurse says, take the meds and hang in there. Is there any way you can take a break from school? If so, I urge you to do so, taking your friend up on her offer. Just a semester or so may mean ALLLLLL the difference. IF not, just hang in there, take the meds, and get some good counseling. I am on your side, hon. Been there, and it's hell. But there IS light at the end of the tunnel; that I can promise you.
  9. by   Energizer Bunny
    ((((Navy))))) No words of wisdom, just a hug!
  10. by   ferfer
    I have been there, actually am there and completely understand. I have been down a lot lately but unfortunately cannot take a break from school. But I have come to accept that I needed to see a counsellor and have made the 1st appointment. Much as I hate how this is happening to you, it is nice to know I am not the only one! (in a strange kinda way). School is stressful, and if you can take a break, do it! I do recommend you see a counsellor. The worst thing that anyone can do for depression is ignore it because, unfortunately, it can progress. Hang on though, we are right there with ya.

    Seek help from everyone you can, use your support systems and don't be afraid to lean on people! I am the same, always the one everyone turns too. There is so much shame involved for people like us when we deal with something like this! We are not used to being the ones relying on others. I understand that completely but you need to let go of it. I have been shocked at how many people have rallied around me to support me in this time. Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it!!! An do not be worried as being perceived as weak. It takes truly a strong person to address their problems and admit when they need help with something! PM anytime
  11. by   MandyInMS
    Depression and stress will kill your mind, body, and soul...keep in close touch with your MD reguarding your meds and how effective they are..as others have mentioned it takes a while for them to work, you may need diff. meds....and if at all possible TAKE A BREAK...even a small break, to help clear your mind, and get some much needed rest.My thoughts and prayers are with you...I KNOW how it feels to be so mentally exhausted and overwhelmed.. (((hugssssss)))
  12. by   Tweety
    Hope things get better for you and I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.
  13. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    (((HUGS))) Navy, everyone's here for you.
  14. by   mattsmom81
    Hugs to you Navynurse. Somehow we find the strength to get through these rough patches in our lives. Sometimes we just go day by day and do the best we can. Don't feel bad if you take a LOA from school, if you must you must. A short vacation to recharge sounds good...it's tough when our parents get elderly and develop chronic and terminal diseases. Tougher still when you are an only child. Identify YOUR support system and reach out to them, and be gentle to yourself.