I am so angry, I could spit nails - page 3
I am not talking to my husband, I wanted to adpot a puppy today, wanted one since I was a kid. My husband said "NO" can you believe this? I am a grown woman, work hard, own my home, and I am being... Read More
Dec 16, '02Wow,
Thank you all for your input. First of all let me put the record straight, I love my husband with all my heart, and after 12 years of being together, I would never want him any other way .
It is just sometimes (very rarely) he can get his panties into a twist and say "NO" and it is so hard to change his mind.
We own our home, we have no kids, we have a big back yard, we both understand the financial and emotional responsibilty of owning a 4 legged buddy......I spoke with my hubby last night.....and his biggest fear is that we will not have to spend enough time with the dog. We both work nights,> now my hubby only works 10 minutes from the house, so he could quite easily come home on lunch and check on her (emily-I have already named her-yes I know sad huh?), now when I suggested this to him>>>>I never really got a straight answer from him. I told him that as a kid I always had dogs around me>(mom is a dog lover too). I would make sure she would get a good walk when I got in in the morning from work, and before I went to work.....and then he could give her another walk before he left for work. (he starts work at 10pm, I start at 7pm)>>>>>again I got no response on that suggestion..............I really want this puppy........but I do not think I could just go out and purchase her, without him being told...........Thank you all again for your input....I will keep you all updated on the progress
Dec 16, '02Jayne~
I think you're lovely for sitting down and talking with him first. My husband reacts often the same way, with the law being his rule, and I too, am sick of it. Wish I could talk to mine, but my words get twisted to his point of view.
Good luck getting Emily... I'm sure you'd be a great mom and dad!
Dec 16, '02Ya know, one of my bosses (male) admitted that he never wants another dog because you get so close to the damn things and then they die. They are like a family member and hurts terribly when they get sick and die. Maybe this is why he doesn't want one? Justa shot in the dark......
This boss actually sent me home to grieve when I got a phone call at work that my beloved Max had died.
Dec 16, '02Jayne,
Bravo for you for sitting down with the husband to suss out his reasons for not wanting a dog. One of the top reasons people give for surrendering their family pet to an animal shelter is "My husband/wife can't stand the dog/cat." As a former veterinary technician and volunteer at the local animal shelter, I have given my share of euthanasia solution to adult dogs and older puppies who had the misfortune of being brought into a home where a pet was not entirely wanted.
If your husband is worried about not being able to spend enough time with the dog, why not consider adopting an adult dog? Puppies under the age of six months really have difficulty with being left alone for more than four to six hours at a time. An older dog would be able to fit into your work schedule more easily. Also, make sure that you crate train your dog. This will give him a 'home' where he's safe AND where he can't do any damage. Don't listen to people who tell you crate-training is cruel--these are the same people who will, in six months or a year, drop off their dog for euthanasia after he pees on the carpet for the umpteenth time and shreds the new sofa, or who think it's humane to chain the dog in the backyard for days at a time.
The other benefit to adopting an adult dog is that you are almost definitely saving a life and you're not contributing to the overbreeding of purebred dogs. In most areas, there are breed rescue societies that find adoptive homes for purebred dogs. In my area, both the local purebred dog rescue and Seattle Animal Control send some dogs to a comprehensive doggy training 'camp' to teach them house manners, leash manners, and even more advanced skills.
Please PM me for more information; I'd be happy to locate a purebred dog rescue group in your area. You sound like a great candidate.
Dec 16, '02Sorry, EX130. I was in a funny mood last night.
I LOVE men. I even like other women's husbands (a lot of the time). I just don't want one for myself, which is probably why I've been divorced twice. :chuckle
Dec 16, '02Please please please do not go and buy a puppy, please head out to the animal shelter and rescue one. These guys are sooo special (I'm on my fourth one) and to be honest, most end up euthanized. It is very hard to place animals a second time. You could make a deal with your hubby, agree to foster a dog with the intention of adopting, and if really you aren't spending enough time with the dog, then you have fostered an animal while it finds a new home, which isn't a bad thing either. Also, when I worried about not spending enough time with my dog, I got my dog a pet, so now there are currently 2 at home...with a big yard, 2 dogs abotu the same age would keep each other company for sure.
Dec 16, '02There are so many good dogs that needs homes. Agree with the above, after nagging, I mean discussing the situation and when your husband realizes the joy this companion will bring to you (after all, YOUR happiness is all that matter here...hehehe), he will cave and let you have your dog. I hope so anyway.
When I asked for a dog when we moved into our house, John said no.....too much noise, too much destruction, etc. etc. Eventually, it was HIS idea to get our dog. Now that dog gets more attention than me.
Dec 16, '02Agree with above posts....get thee to the nearest shelter!
We've adopted our last 2 pooches from the shelter. We have lots of experience with large breed dogs so shelters were very happy to adopt out a St Bernard and mastiff on 2 different occassions. both were pure breds so if you're into that they do exist. Mixed breeds are the best, though, in my very humble opinion.
One note on pure breds....most shelters neuter/spay regardless if dogs are purebreds or not. Don't expect to breed. (It would be nuts to breed a homeless dog wouldn't it?) Believe it or not some people want to breed the dogs they adopt...especially the purebreds.....DUH!
Dec 16, '02Whoever suggests to "just get the dog" w/o his OK and against his wishes is obviously not worried about her relationship. Getting a puppy is a lot like having a baby ( I have done both so I know). they are a LOT of work and cost a LOT of money........and at LEAST 15 years of commitment, monetarily and emotionally. They take TIME to train and to learn to live with. They take a lot of money in veterinary care...even routine care can run in $100s....let alone anything emergent or REALLY serious...can be $1000s!!!!!! I know, I have spent $1000s on maintaining my dogs' health and wellbeing and getting surgeries etc...
Rusty's situation is quite different. In the country, often, animals DO "adopt" homes and come and go...but veterinary care for ANY ONE ANIMAL is staggering!
I would NOT suggest ANYONE just get a dog if their s/o does NOT want one...unless a separation and/or divorce is considered acceptable or is on the horizon. Having been a RESPONSIBLE dog-owner for 13 years, I can say it is WRONG to get a dog unless you both are COMMITED to his wellbeing and the WORK and EXPENSE it comes with! Good luck!Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Dec 16, '02
Dec 16, '02I was reading this thread and then when you said you talked with him and he was concernd about leaving the poor thing alone something hit me.
Dogs are a very social animal and need companionship. Even adult dogs.
(oh, oh something else just occured to me. I'll get to it.)
You talked about how he could walk the dog run home from work to check on it etc.
Hmm. Not a good idea. He did not respond for a reason. THis is your desire. Not his. YOu are asking a LOT from him. He might agree to please you as he obviously love you a lot. But do you really want to put these responsibilities on him just so you could have this one pleasure. It may not seem a lot to you. However it may be a lot to him. Especially since he perfers not to have the dog for these very reasons.
So the Idea I came up with listening to you is rent a dog. A lot of people have dogs who are left and need attention. Find someone who will let you spend time with thier dog. You could even bring him home with you for visits. This will give the owner a break and help you and the dog.
There are sitter services and walking services and doggy day care services that do this for a fee. You could charge or just do it for the love of it on a casual basis.
Go visit folks with a dog and spend time with the dog.
Now the second thing I referec to above when I said oh, oh, was that a second dog would provide companionship for the first dog while you were away.
I agree avoid a puppy get mature dogs. A puppy for working coulples like your self spells disaster.
Dec 16, '02I got an idea. Can you compromise and get a cat? They are much better at being alone and there are all kinds in the shelters that need good homes?
Just a thought,
Dec 16, '02I have three...every time I went to the Humane Society I came home with a dog. Fortunately for my husband our homeowners association only allows three They know me so well at the shelter that the last time I went in there they said "Hey Laurie, we have this great cow over here"I am such a sucker for a cute face. I'll bet your husband will be in love within 5 minutes of his seeing the puppy. I recently saw a "Havenese"(not sure of the) they are malteses only instead of being white their coats are tan, beige, brown and black. SOOOOO cute and they don't shed...ohhhh if only I could have just one more!Last edit by jacolaur on Dec 16, '02