I am ok, really!

  1. Sorry that I worried you guys so much. I took a break from anything that was causing me stress. Computer and everything. I guess that when you feel that things can't get any worse is the time to take action.

    I talked to my boss about the things the were screwing me over on. They said they would "look into it". Hey it is a start.

    As for the financial problems with my significant other, dumping him isn't the easy solution because of combined finances (I know, I know) and the fact that we own a house together. But the best thing happened to me yesterday. I lost my wallet. Drivers license, social security card, checks, ACLS cards and other things. In addition I had no cash, hence my severe financial problems at the moment. My significant other has never shared with the safe combination but did so in order to get some money for gas. When he did, I was able to retrive my credit card that had been locked up for "safekeeping". The credit card issue was a major component of feeling like I was trapped. Only since I had my credit card, I was able to get a new license and then a new bank account in which my s.o. is not going to have access to. I learned my lesson. So in a sense, things are starting to look up.

    When I was 18, I was in a relationship in which I was living with my boyfriend. The family treated me so badly. I lived in an 6 by 8 room with cement floors and cement walls. The mother used to yell at me all the time and I felt trapped inside and out. I endured quite a bit of abuse from the entire family. I swore that I would never let anyone control me again. Yet, here I was feeling the same way.

    Any plans that I might have only include the possibility of ever dumping my s.o. dropping everything and moving to Texas to work down there.

    So thanks for all the wonderful thoughts and prayers from you all. Once again sorry to scare you all. As always my life is a work in progress and I am doing everything that I can to make it one that I am happy with.

    Happy Girl- Martina McBride

    I used to live in a darkened room
    Had a face of stone
    And a heart of gloom

    Lost my hope, I was so far gone
    Cryin' all my tears
    With the curtains drawn

    I didn't know until my soul broke free
    I've got these angels watching over me

    Oh watch me go
    I'm a happy girl
    Everybody knows
    That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
    In the whole wide world
    Is a happy girl

    This was my mantra before and will be always. Thanks everyone.
  2. Visit moonshadeau profile page

    About moonshadeau, ADN, BSN, MSN, APN, NP, CNS

    Joined: Jul '00; Posts: 639; Likes: 70
    Specialty: 15 year(s) of experience


  3. by   Jenny P
    Thank you for posting, Moonshadeau. We should get together sometime soon.
  4. by   delirium
    I'm elated to hear that you're alright, moonshadeau.
    Sometimes we do need to just get away from it all, computer included, but you worried us to death.
    I know what you mean about combined finances. My previous relationship we owned a car together, were on the lease of our apartment together, had joint bank accounts with direct deposit from our respective employers, it was really painful (economically as well as emotionally) to cut loose from her when it was time.
    Eventually I opened a new account, rerouted my paycheck to that one, and left. I'm glad I did, although I lost a bit of money in the process. It was just easier to leave it, and keep my sanity and self-respect; a small price to pay, in my opinion. Its uplifting when you know you did the right thing for you, even if it seemed unbearably difficult at the time.
    Anyway, big hugs to you, and I hope things continue to look even brighter for you.
  5. by   aus nurse
    Very pleased to hear you are OK and that your angel is watching over you.

    You remind a little of myself at that age...good on you for getting those finances back into your control. We do learn from experience don't we? I know it is very hard to maintain a good self esteem when you are being treated otherwise.....but try to look after yourself. One of the best periods in my life (a fair few years ago now) was when my ex left me and I realised from that point on I had the choice to only surround myself with people who made me feel good about myself. I hope that day comes for you soon.

    Take care, I know it is a difficult road as MsPurp said.
  6. by   BadBird
    Glad you are feeling better and taking control of your life. Financial indepedence is very liberating, get your own accounts, direct deposit is wonderful too. I could not trust my ex with anything and I ended up with seperate accounts way before I smartened up and divorced him. I don't know where you are from and each state is different but don't stay just because of finances, he could dig the hole deeper without any control from you and you might be responsible for 1/2 just because you are married. Talk this over with a lawyer, your lawyer will act in you best interests, Good luck.
  7. by   shygirl
    May God Bless you and give you renewed strength to forge ahead with your life. Remember, It's never too late to make a fresh start!
  8. by   duckie
    I am soooooooooo happy to hear from you and to know that you are okay. Many prayers have been and will continue to be said in your behalf. God Bless!!!!!!
    Thanks for checking in with us moon! We're glad to hear you're safe and well. Always know that there are many of us here rooting for you!

  10. by   Mkue
    welcome back moon !!

    good to have you back. i really do hope your situation improves tremendously !

  11. by   fedupnurse
    So glad you are OK and it sounds like you are defiently moving in the right direction! Great place to start is with the separate bank accounts. Good for you!! If you need us you know where to find us....
    Originally posted by fedupnurse
    If you need us you know where to find us....
    :chuckle Where else would we be?

  13. by   micro

    taking time away from everything and everybody is a way healthy thing to do......

    nice for the fly by and just knew you were so cool

    keep on keepin on.........

  14. by   bandaidexpert
    Welcome back moon! micro is right, taking time away is very healthy. With that mantra you can't go wrong! Keep the faith