I am having a quandy

  1. At leaste I think that is what I am having. My mother who has been declining severely fell Sun and 7:30 pm was not found until meals on wheels guy brought her lunch at 12:30 on mon. She had life alert and didnt work. Anyway there are a whole bunch of considerations and issures to be addressed in order to figure out how best to help her. I sure would like someone to talk to about it and get some advice but I dont want to bore everyone to tears. Let me know is I should post the whole story or just keep it to myself. Thanks
  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   NurseShell
    angelbear...I'm not sure what you're asking...maybe you could elaborate a bit?
  4. by   cactus wren
    ((( ANGELBEAR))))

    Hugs to you !
    What a horrid thing. So, how is Mom? was she hurt? In the hospital? Is she declining physically or mentally, or both ?Maybe it`s time to rethink her living conditions...not easy, I know. Too bad her Life Alert didn`t work. A lady just last week used hers to get help when an intruder was attacking her, and possibly saved her life.
  5. by   angelbear
    They are investigating why it did not work. She spent several hours in the hosp blood tests, x-ray, ct scan. Mom has not had an easy life She lived 20 yrs with my dad who was abusive to all of us physically and emotionally. Once she left dad and was on her own for a bit. Did pretty good. But then she married a drunk when he took off she settled into life with me and my 2 sisters and was pretty involved with us all. Til a yr later when the drunk comes back Then she went into a deep depression and ended up haveing a stroke. We took her to a rehab center for 2 mos. But she continued to decline. She insisted on going home. Regularly forgot her meds or her hubby would steel them until he died a few months back. We still cant get her to remember all her meds, She doesnt eat right, forgets her insulin half the time, and cant walk very well at all anymore. She also has very flat affect and doesnt talk at unless she has to answer a question. I am at a loss I dont know what to do. She obviously cant take of herself. We have a visiting nurse come in and check her meds , bath her, and do some light housecleaning. I am so confused I dont know what would be the best way to help.
    Last edit by angelbear on Mar 11, '03
  6. by   CountrifiedRN
    So sorry to hear of your moms fall, and other health issues. I wish I had some good advice to offer. It sounds like she has a lot of issues to deal with. Some ideas that come to mind are an inpatient mental health program, or maybe an assisted living facility. Do you live close to her, or are you trying to help from a distance?

    I truly hope you can find something to help her. I know the members here will have some great advice.

  7. by   RNforLongTime
    Sounds as though she may be suffering a bit from depression. Is she taking any antidepression medication? So sorry that you have to deal with this. It must be hard.
  8. by   NurseShell

    that sounds like a hard decision to have to make. Prayers and love to you and your family.

    You definitely need to figure out what went wrong with the life line system...it would have helped to get medical attention sooner... give your mom hugs and well wishes from all of us here!
  9. by   renerian
    Angelbear can the agency that is providing the nurse and the hospital social worker have a meeting with the four of you to talk about options? I don't envy you as you are in one hard place.

  10. by   jnette
    Agree with Renerian... this is too great an issue for you to take on yourself. You need input and there are agencies and people who can help guide and direct your steps...for the benefit of your Mom AND you !

    Wish you peace of mind, courage, and strength. (( ))
  11. by   angelbear
    Update: Mom was addmitted to the hosp. She fractured L2. Chipped her shoulder, and dislocated her knee. She also has multiple rug burns to her arms and buttocks from trying to get up. She is IDDM so her sugar was way out of wack due too not having food or insulin and dehydrated from not having H2O for so many hrs. Life alert was found to have been activated but noone responded investigating as to why. Hubby and I just came from hosp. Oddly enough she seemed more upbeat than I have seen her in over a yr. even laughed and talked a bit. She takes paxil and has a history of depression. We even talked to her about some of her options she seemed pretty open to assisted living if she cant be on her own. She doesnt want to be dependant on us girls. She is finally admitting that she is lonely and scared so we will see. My older sis and I meet with social workers tomorrow. We already had meals on wheels, life alert, and home health aids plus we checked in most every day. However Dr feels it is beyond that now. We are just praying for the best now. They are doing MRI tomorrow before deciding whether to operate on the knee. Thanks for all your support.
  12. by   Tweety
    I hope your mom is o.k. Maybe being in the hospital and what has happened will open her eyes a bit to some options.

    With those injuries she definately might have to go to a rehab or skilled nursing where they can even further evaluate what she needs.

    The fact that she's perked up with all this attention is interesting. Maybe she'd be more open minding to a nursing home environment where there are people around.

    Good luck.
  13. by   debyan
    Sounds like it is already going a little better than you anticipated at first. Rehab sounds like the way to go and that she is open to it is a plus. Prayers sent your way this is a lot to deal with. deb
  14. by   semstr
    so sorry, about your mum! Hope she'll be ok soon!
    (what is a quandy??? can you translate that for me, please!)