Husband rant!!!!!!!!! (lengthy)

  1. I come home this morning after 2 12's in a row and the house is a complete disaster. Let me digress for a moment......Worked last Fri, Sat and Sun 7P-7A then leave for my in-laws on Monday evening (It's a 2 1/2 hour drive). Got home Thursday around 1400 and had to be at work at 1900.....

    My husband works evening shift (8 hours, mind you). Do you think that he would notice that the dishes are piled sky high, the suitcase is still unpacked, the bathroom is filthy? HELL NO!!!!!! I didn't get home until 9am this morning since I HAD TO DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING. I ask him what he did all evening. Says he watched a few movies and worked on his guitar. I don't say anything and leave the room . He then proceeds to ask me what's wrong. My exact words were "I'm sick of the F******G house being a wreck!" We don't have any kids, just the cats (I know, Heather, I know); which he forgets to feed or clean the litterbox half the time.

    I think I'm gonna hire a maid. I just can't keep up with it by myself. My husband is very handy and does fix stuff around the house but I do help him. Why do I feel like it's not the other way around?

    Suppose I'm tired. But for now, it's back to cleaning toilets.

  2. 37 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    Hiring a maid is the way to go. We have had one for a couple of years now. She comes in once a week (on Fridays) and stays for abut 5 hours.
    Our weekends are now free to do things together.
    Of course we still do the dishes, laundry and pick up after ourselves. She just does the floors, dusting, bathrooms and all the stuff which is so time consuming.
    Go for the maid!
  4. by   Heather333
    Ya know, I'd even work extra just to pay for a maid. My husband says he doesn't like the idea of having someone come into clean. That's great for him, but I don't like living in a pig sty. (is that spelled right???)

    Whatever, I'm tired and have been inhaling to many fumes.

  5. by   Mkue
    Heather, I have a maid, er..helper for you. (see the "help is on the way" thread)

    Seriously.. sounds like you do need someone to come in, it would be well worth the money.

    When my kids were younger and I worked full time I had someone come in every other week, it was really worth it to have someone get in all the corners and crevices. My husband worked many hours and was never home so he was all for it.

    Get some references from other ppl, I would go for it !

  6. by   Nurse Izzy
    Heather - I know exactly how you feel. What makes it worse is that last night we have surprise company and my husband makes the comment "well, the house is a wreck, but..." as if that were all I had to do all day. Last time I checked he has two legs and two arms that work. Take today for instance - I had previously announced that I was going to clean today while he was gone hunting. Well, he's decided it's too cold to go hunting and rather than lift a finger to help he's sitting on the couch with his girlfriend - the XBox. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! That's fine, I'll do my thing and when he decides to help then the house will get clean. Until then, I"ll just hang out in our guest bedroom (where I go to study) because it's clean in there! I may be the female but that DOES NOT equate to maid!

    Sorry, I needed to vent, too!
  7. by   spineCNOR
    Yep Heather, a maid is the way to go. Sounds like your hubby, despite his other strengths, is just one of those people who is OK with living in a "pig sty". Some people are and some people aren't. Since it really bothers you, and since enlisting hubby's help would probably be more trouble than it's worth, bring someone in to help would probably make you MUCH happier. You would be able to enjoy your time off more, which would be a good thing.
    Good luck!
  8. by   Rustyhammer
    At first my wife was against the idea but I proposed to her "what is your time worth?"
    She was spending all day Saturday cleaning (and not too happy about it).
    Is it worth your time to spend a day cleaning?
  9. by   Heather333
    Originally posted by Nurse Izzy
    he's sitting on the couch with his girlfriend - the XBox. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

    Sorry, I needed to vent, too!
    NurseIzzy...I guess our hubbies have the same girlfriend. Mine has a mistress too....the Playstation. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

    If he doesn't like the idea of someone coming in the house, then he can be there when they clean....

    And Rusty, you're right. My time is valueable and I don't want to spend it being miserable. I'd rather have happiness even if it means paying a little more.

  10. by   louloubell1
    We hired someone a couple of months ago to give us a little help around the house & with the kids. She comes three times a week for 4 hour periods, & it is certainly a stress reliever. I'm one of those people that can't stand for the house to be cluttered & my husband is the same way. With busy lives, the stress of just trying to maintain the house wasn't worth the constant hard feelings that would erupt between us re: who wasn't doing what around the house. Things have been very, very nice with the extra help.

    It's been an EXTRA blessing now that I've been on bedrest. Our housekeeper picks up my daughter from school on her days here, and takes care of making the kids' meals. Big, big relief!

    Convicted of placenta previa & serving time on couch arrest ~ Day 23
  11. by   nursejws
    Wooooweeee, I can relate! I told my hubby yesterday that he better plan on cleaning this weekend, if he wasn't working. He said he was going to work. He's been up since 6am, playing on the computer. Finally, about an hour ago, he said he was going to work. I told him, "thanks for wasting my time". He got pissy about it, but he cleaned the bathroom. I've already cleaned the kitchen, including the fridge and pantry, rearranged the stuff in the cabinets, and dusted our entertainment center, the window cills, a few other things, and cleaned the windows.

    I have much more to do. Since we both had WLS in December, I want to bring out our more fitting clothes, and box the baggier ones up to take to next months clothing exchange. With this in mind, I have a lot of laundry to do. I contemplated asking my SIL if she wanted some extra cash. She's like me, everything has it's place, and her apartment is always least when I'm there. I just feel wrong calling her up and asking. He's getting ready to leave, I KNOW I'd rather go see a movie or some friends. It was fine when I wasn't working...I took on all of the responsibilities around the house. I went back to work in July...I wish the caveman would notice and help me out.

    My husband WISHES he had a girlfriend "Playstation"...I said, NOT! I can barely keep him away from playing football on the computer.
    Last edit by nursejws on Jan 25, '03
  12. by   oramar
    There are men who pull there own weight in these matters but they are the minority. It is just that they always got away with not doing these things and now that women are income makers they don't want to anti up and make things truely equal. This is a battle that is fought household by household. It is almost like a new form of urban warfare.
  13. by   Furball
    When I read these threads my mouth just drops in astonishment. My crazy hubby goes as far as dusting all the lightbulbs in the house. We must be and my clean toilets everyday and my hubby dusting lightbulbs...>sigh<
  14. by   emily_mom
    Well you are lucky Furball. I am also looking for a cleaning person. I'm working more hours with my new job, am going to school full time, and have 2 children...ages 4 and 31. No one knows how to pick up after themselves, start the washer or dryer, fold clothes or how to turn on the fricking vacuum. This is my weekend off, and I've spent the last two days cleaning. I've had enough.....

    Kristy 2