hubby's nights out

  1. deleted
    Last edit by ziggyRn on Feb 18, '03
  2. 136 Comments

  3. by   Fgr8Out
    Uhhh... I'd refer this to Dr. Phil. LOL

    But seriously, there's something inherently wrong in a relationship when a significant other feels the need to engage in this sort of activity. It IS disrespectful.

    Why do the other gals condone it? Insecurity, probably. That or, they themselves are involved in similar activities and don't want to have their fun yanked away.

    Call me old fashioned, but, I truly think the world is becoming entirely too "SELF" absorbed and interested only in what makes THEM happy. We don't have to be doormats, but, courtesy and caring are going right down the toilet. IMHO.
  4. by   micro
    if it makes you uncomfortable, then it should make him say no way.........simple.....this is what a relationship is all about.....
    not that there aren't kinks in relationships.......
    but you are not a prude to think and FEEL the way you do.....
    you feel what you feel.....and this is something that has so many variables......least of all is (i.e. universal precautions, etc).......

    immediate gratification and just Me mentality (agree with Lori above) part of each of our human animal nature.....but it needs to be controlled.........

    ziggy, you ain't alone out there......
    micro and all is here ..........
  5. by   CEN35's just my 2 cents but...............

    i think if you love someone, you really would want to spend as much time with them as possible. sure people go out now and then, and do something with their friends on their own. however i just don't see the need for that kind of stuff, ecspecially if you are true to your spouse/significant other and you can be with them.


  6. by   kmchugh
    Since another male has posted:

    I've never seen the attraction of strip clubs, personally. Went to a few when I was in my 20's, but even then, I didn't really enjoy them that much. Generally, too expensive for too little entertainment. Maybe that's just me. But I know my wife, and I know she would be very unhappy with me if I went to a strip club, or whatever. I have occasionally (less than once a month) been out with friends, which she does not mind. Even if I enjoyed these places, I personally would not go to them, because she would be upset. I married her because I love her, so it does not make sense to me to go places that upset her. Besides, there are a lot of places far more "grown up" to go to.

    But that's just my thoughts.

    Kevin McHugh
  7. by   nursedawn67
    Ziggy...I don't want my hubby going to places like that myself, and he in turn does not want me to go to clubs like that for women. And we respect each others wishes.

    In equal rights, I don't feel that going to these clubs make you into child porn.

    And for the women that allow the hubbies to go or the men that let their women go....well if they trust eachother enough and are comfortable enough with it, then that's great for them.
  8. by   Jenny P
    My hubby worked as a bouncer for a friend in a strip joint for about a month back when we were first married and very poor (he was a student at the time). He learned enough to hate the whole scene. Was I jealous? No, we needed the money (I'd been ill and we had some big time bills to pay). But I made sure that he wasn't "looking for any action" either!
    He found the whole thing to be disrespectful to the women and a rip-off for the guys. Some of his stories about the different strippers were sad, some were gross, and some he wouldn't even go near for fear of catching something! (And this was back before AIDS! in the mid '70's when free love was all in vogue!)
  9. by   canoehead
    If it makes you uncomfortable he shouldn't be doing it. Period.

    Do you want to stay with someone who doesn't take your feelings in to account- I assume you've told him loud and clear how you feel. The other points of general disrespect for women and disease concerns are on top of that one main point.

    Of course there are couples that enjoy things that I find distasteful- in that case live and let live.

    But Geez...he likes looking at all that overused worn out disease ridden stuff? It turns him on? Or does he just like feeling the power of having someone wave it in his face? Yuck.
  10. by   Ted
    Strip clubs . . .

    In my single youth days, yep, been there. Not interested now.

    What is interesting is this. . .

    The female strip clubs (for men) are boring as men sit a gawk at the naked ladies.

    The male strip clubs (for women) are filled with excitement; filled with lots of laughter and cheering by the ladies for the male stripers.

    My wife and I used to be a "lounge duo" playing easing listening music to passengers on a very skanky day cruiseship for gambling. On Friday nights, the Chippendales were hired to perform their stuff on the "Friday Night Party Cruise". Believe it or not, my wife and I "warmed-up" the Chippendales with our "New York, New York/I Left My Heart in San Franscisco" type of music (a really dumb decision by the cruise director). The girls went wild (No, not over us ) whenever a Chippendale would walk through the theater area to get to the back stage; they did it purposefully to gain attention and help get the crowd going. Meanwhile the husband and wife team is playing ". . . Start spreading the news . . ." - - (So surrealistic when I think back on that whole experience.) Don't get me wrong, we played into the excitement as much as we could. I would start unbuttoning my tuxedo shirt to display my few chest hairs as the hunky Chippendale guy strutted down the aisle and as the girls cheered. (Of course they weren't cheering at me. . . )

    But I digress. . .

    Anyhow, I do find it interesting how the two sexes react differently to strip teasing.

    Cheers. . .


    P.S. In case you gals were interested, many of the Chippendales were gay

  11. by   nurs4kids
    I'd never tolerate my hubby going to that type club..period. I'd constantly be beating myself, wondering what I couldn't do for him that they could; although that's rarely the case. I did go through the same "child porn" thoughts as you, but mine was from his magazines and from porn sites being left in the address bar on the computer. ALL those girls look like teens. He and I had several heated topics on his, in my opinion, addiction to porn. He pointed out several things to me, one of which is that unless a man wants to look at women who look 50, then the only other option is those who are supposedly 18, but IMO look 15. After I had my first child, a daughter, this bothered me more than ever. Every time I'd pull up the browser and it'd come up, I'd hit the roof. As much as it seemed like an obscession to me, it is probably more like an the majority of the males "suffer". After talking a couple of my male co-workers about the subject (yeah, we're all open-books here), I found that my hubby isn't different than the average male pig . Thank God I didn't have your problem. He's never, in 6 yrs of marriage, gone out to any club w/o me, let alone a strip club. He did go to a strip club the night of his bachelor's party, with my blessings..that was his first and last time to go. He said he could think of too many other things to put his dollars into..

    Sooooooooo, finally I came to the conclusion that I'd rather him be surfing the net looking at "trash", than out in the streets looking. The last time I saw it on our browser, I said to him, "Ok dammit...YOU have a college degree working with LEAST have enough respect for me and the kids to clear the damn cookies from the browser". I've not seen any since, nor have I looked for it...sometimes you just have to let beast be beast I also figure porn may be my friend...I don't feel quiet as guilty when I say I have a
  12. by   mario_ragucci
    Let a player play. Envy and lust are fun activities, but don't obsess on them. It's no secret your "hubby" likes these clubs, and I don't think he is lying about it. Is he dating a stripper? See? So let a player play and don't be all bent out of shape. Whats the big deal? Haven't chew lusted before? Those strip tease places are just a lewd thing, but envy and acting out things for him may be acceptable. leav'em alone :-)
  13. by   CEN35
    wow! while i thought i would be the minority and get an earfull!
    i find the majoraty to be with me on this one! :d
    except mario that is?
    this clearly answers my question to another thread. that answer is the one too, whether mario is really single, or really married? clearly by his last reply, he is single. (sorry mario)
    if you knew where any of the females are coming from, you would understand. actually, you would understand being a guy...if you were in love with your wife/significant other and cared about them and their feelings.
    that's just my 2 cents mario....don't get bent.

    Last edit by CEN35 on Apr 24, '02
  14. by   canoehead
    Alright Rick!

    Mario, IMHO you are out of your mind on this one.

    If she feels unloved and degraded because he chooses to spend time and money on strippers then he should care enough about her to stop. I'm putting the question of whether stripping is OK or not aside, just basing my opinion on how his actions affect the relationship.

    If she was OK with his actions then I would be too (although I would wonder what was in her head)

    And I think there is a difference between one night out with the guys, as opposed to going out every week, knowing that his actions are hurting the person he supposedly loves.