How To Preserve A Spouse...Author: Unknown

  1. First, use care in selection.
    Get one that is not too young, but tender and healthy.
    If you choose one recklessly, it may not keep.
    Don't put in hot water. This makes them sour.
    Sweeten with smiles, and spice with patience. All varieties will respond.

    To ensure a wonderful consistency, stir gently over a low flame and don't leave unattended for long periods of time.

    To add a delicious flavor, sprinkle generously with praise and appreciation.

    The poorest specimen may be improved if you follow these instructions, and will keep for an unlimited number of years.

    Frequent exposure to cold temperatures has been known to damage this dish permanently. Keep a small steady flame going at all times.

    Care to share any of your recipes for human contact within a family and how to keep the spices brewing nicely?

    "Success in marriage is not so much FINDING the right person as it is in BEING the right person." -- Author Unknown
    :kiss
    Last edit by live4today on Jul 3, '02
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  2. 36 Comments

  3. by   LasVegasRN
    Where is this store where you can buy husbands? Why wasn't I informed of this?
    Is there a money-back guarantee? What's the return policy? Is there a place to replace defective parts? Can I buy according to shoe size?
  4. by   live4today
    LasVegas...you are a true bonified nutcase, girl. You truly crack me up! :kiss I wish I could walk into a store and order me the perfect specimen of a man...equipped with all the right ingredients to make my own recipe of a man worth keeping.
  5. by   LasVegasRN
    It must have a fitting room. And THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!! :hatparty:
  6. by   live4today
    You are TOO TOO BAD, girlfriend!
  7. by   Stargazer
    How To Preserve a Husband
    Um, formaldehyde?
  8. by   l.rae
    cute you guys, very cute......here's a tip for gettiing along w/ toddlers......tube-tops and toddlers donn't mix......learned the hard way......figure it out.......lr
  9. by   live4today
    Okay...let's keep it seriuos and compassionate gals. We are NOT here to MALE BASH, but to offer recipes for strengthening our relationships with our spouses. We do NOT want the guys running to Brian saying we are male bashing them again because that is NOT the essence of why I started this post. Let's keep it nice...and keep it real! Much thanks for your Allnurses spirit of cooperation! :kiss
  10. by   live4today
    BTW...l.rae...loved the toddler joke because there is a LOT of truth in moms wearing tube tops and holding a toddler. :chuckle
  11. by   Ted
    I'm sorry . . . I don't know whether to feel sad for you guys or laugh at your postings to this thread. They are very funny!

    Peace!

    Ted

    P. S. It's not the size of the feet that matter . . . but how they keep up with the walking!
  12. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by efiebke
    P. S. It's not the size of the feet that matter . . . but how they keep up with the walking!
    Don't get me started, now...
  13. by   Stargazer
    Originally posted by cheerfuldoer
    Okay...let's keep it seriuos and compassionate gals. We are NOT here to MALE BASH, but to offer recipes for strengthening our relationships with our spouses. We do NOT want the guys running to Brian saying we are male bashing them again because that is NOT the essence of why I started this post. Let's keep it nice...and keep it real! Much thanks for your Allnurses spirit of cooperation! :kiss
    Well, if this is directed at me, I thought it was a pretty benign joke--and I've found that most of the guys around here have a pretty good sense of humor (like Ted!).
  14. by   live4today
    Stargazer...nope...it was intended to keep things on track here since Brian already deleted stuff that we shouldn't be sharing on this website yesterday. Keeping in mind his warning to us that we are to act professional and not post certain things, I am trying to keep this board fun...safe for even the guys...and clean. Nothing personal to you as I truly enjoyed your comment, and even laughed hard when I read it. I am just trying to please our Administrator here by behaving myself, and reminding others to do the same. Thanks for understanding. Have great fourth of July weekend!

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