how to deal

  1. I have a question, am I being unreasonable with this request? My mom passed away sept. 16, 1998. She died while in the ICU where I work, I asked begged and pleaded not to have to work that day in ICU, request denied. I was told it had been 4 years and I should be a big girl and handle it? I love working ICU, just not that day. I know its been 4 years but still feels like yesterday to me, I have even asked if I could trade that day denied. I just cannot imagine being there staring at the bed she died in for 12-14 hours, I did mention that I had asked for the day off so that I could attend the memorial service my family is planning, we all gather at the cemetry put fresh flowers down, it is not a sad gathering we laugh and then go to the house and have a day of fellowship remembering all the good times. We pray and rejoyce in the fact that she is in heaven prob. chasing conway twitty. She was a popular nurse so her friends often say she has jesus ear and pointing out all the things mang. is doing to all of us. LOL. mom would not want us crying and said so she loved to laugh and loved nursing. I dont mind wking that day. I just dont want to be in ICU any suggestions I have already been told not to call in at risk of my job. thanks kelli
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    You probably should have just called in. I can't imagine that you can't get a requested day off for ANY reason.
    Next best thing. Trade days with a co-worker.
    Sorry that the anniversary of your moms death is coming up.
    I just passed my fathers anniversary and it isn't easy sometimes even after a few years have passed.
    -Russell
  4. by   live4today
    (((((((((kh)))))))))) May you feel nothing but good memories of your mom on the day in question. I bet she would want that for you. If they won't let you off that day, take and turn that situation around to your own benefit. In addition to going to the cemetary for the family gathering.....have a few familiy come to the hospital with flowers....lay them on the bed your mom passed away in.......sing a song she loved....say a prayer......and then go to the cafeteria for a meal together. Think that will go over well with your NM??? :kiss
  5. by   stressedlpn
    what a wonderful suggestion, I know it will work out for the best. thank you, kelli
  6. by   cmggriff
    Do you know how long it would take to find you another getter job? About 5 minutes and tha is if you take 4 minutes to relax. Tell the ***** you can't work because of your vision problem ie., you can't see working for a heartless idiot like that. Gary
  7. by   hapeewendy
    stupidity abounds yet again
    not to mention insensitivity
    there is no clock upon which to stop grieving or remembering your loved one, nor should anyone dictate to you that you cannot do this or that.
    I find that absurd, and I'm sorry this happened to you!
    people who are spiteful and say things before thinking have either experienced no loss themselves or they have built up a huge wall full of defense mechanisms (IE - projection) etc in which to make those of us who do have feelings and have loved and lost feel even worse simply by making their thoughtless comments.
    rise above, it will be difficult if you work , but your mom is always watching, always there, was probably listening and shaking her head in disbelief when you were spoken to about wanting the day off etc.....
    if only more people could practice empathy and understanding, this world would be a heck of a lot nicer.
    however you do have all of us here for you ,regardless of time/distance/circumstance
    and the same can be said for your mom, she is always going to be there for you!
    I'm off on the 16th so I'm going to set one of my sunflowers out on my baclony and think of you and your mom , all of our good thoughts will cancel out all the negative words spoken to you, at least in our hearts it will.
  8. by   stressedlpn
    Thank you wendy gary and others, Dan suggested I play with their minds a little. in other words scare them, then say I told you mom doesnt want me working today. If I do work, I will be surrounded by people who loved her and me( my co-workers)I might add that some of these folks in mang. are the same ones who walked in the day she died and told her that they could not feel her shifts that weekend and she needed to be at work. Although the worse one quit the day she found out I was coming to work there. Love all of yall, kelli
  9. by   Love-A-Nurse
    (((((kelli)))).

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