How to be a good wife

  1. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order, where your husband can relax in body and spirit.

    Source: 1951 High School Home Economics Textbook

    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good, hot meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

    Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your fair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interested than usual. His boring day may need a lift.

    Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and sweep you off your feet.

    Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

    Minimize the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile.

    Some don'ts. Don't greet him with your problems and complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day as the bread winner. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take of his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasing voice. Do whatever he requests as he relaxes and unwinds.

    Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

    Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax.



    The sad thing about this is that it was taught. I'm going to get down on my knees and thank the feminist movement.
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  2. 34 Comments

  3. by   Roy Fokker
    Here's what snopes has to say about that.

    Very interesting reading
  4. by   gauge14iv
    At first this sounds very insulting to women - however - the more I think about it, the more it sounds like instructions for taking care of a puppy.

    Therefore, this does not say women are subserviant - instead I read it to mean that men are like puppies. Men should really be offended.

    Hmmmmmm it's all really in the interpretation isn't it?
  5. by   bethin
    Quote from gauge14iv
    At first this sounds very insulting to women - however - the more I think about it, the more it sounds like instructions for taking care of a puppy.
    Therefore, this does not say women are subserviant - instead I read it to mean that men are like puppies. Men should really be offended.

    Hmmmmmm it's all really in the interpretation isn't it?
    I thought of it as a baby with colic. You do anything so the baby doesn't cry.
  6. by   Lisa CCU RN
    Quote from gauge14iv
    At first this sounds very insulting to women - however - the more I think about it, the more it sounds like instructions for taking care of a puppy.

    Therefore, this does not say women are subserviant - instead I read it to mean that men are like puppies. Men should really be offended.

    Hmmmmmm it's all really in the interpretation isn't it?
    LOL!
    Did this attitude somehow become genetically programmed into men or something, because it seems like they STILL think we should act this way!? I mean, they don't even teach this anymore, but they still act like it's ok to stay out all night and that I shouldn't have any questions. Yeah right! How long again did women actually DO this crap? I'd rather go to work and have the supposedly horrible day the husband had, than stay at home doing mindless cleaning and listening to screaming kids. Good Lord, was that some short-sighted thinking!

    ( I am down on my knees right now thanking God for giving the women of the feminist movement the smarts to fight these attitudes). :bowingpur :bowingpur :bowingpur :bowingpur :bowingpur :bowingpur :bowingpur
  7. by   Roy Fokker
    Guess it's no joy to be a Stay At Home Mom then
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from Roy Fokker
    Guess it's no joy to be a Stay At Home Mom then
    I see the winking eye Roy.

    From my perspective, it is a JOY for me to be a stay-at-home mom, at least part-time.

    And I do enjoy cooking nice meals for my husband and kids. I also really appreciate when I come home from work that the house is picked up and dinner is cooking. There is such peace in that - coming home to my loving family and my sanctuary at the end of the day. I can see how my husband would like that too.

    However, in anything you can go overboard.

    I like the analogy to a colicky baby.

    steph
  9. by   Roy Fokker
    Quote from stevielynn
    I see the winking eye Roy.
    I wrote that with you especially in mind

    Quote from stevielynn
    From my perspective, it is a JOY for me to be a stay-at-home mom, at least part-time.

    And I do enjoy cooking nice meals for my husband and kids. I also really appreciate when I come home from work that the house is picked up and dinner is cooking. There is such peace in that - coming home to my loving family and my sanctuary at the end of the day. I can see how my husband would like that too.
    As far as I'm concerned, feminism to me (a MALE. Fancy THAT! :chuckle ) is about choice. Women ought to have the same choices in choosing what life they want to persue as the menfolk. A woman can choose to have a career, the same way a man can. Or she can stay at home and raise a family. Or choose to have both. Or...

    I get miffed when someone suggests (I'm not implying anyone here did) that there's more to being a modern woman than "just another housewife". There is somehow this implication that someone who is "just" a housewife is just not as good as the rest of them career driven women.

    My Mother was one of those highly educated, fiercely independent women who chose to give up their careers to raise the family. She didn't have to do it but she chose to do so.

    Who am I to blame her? For it was thanks to her sacrifice that I am where I am today. Not saying my Father didn't play a role at all - just want to emphasise that my Mother willingly gave up what she didn't have to.

    Quote from stevielynn
    However, in anything you can go overboard.
    I completely agree.
  10. by   nurse4theplanet
    My husband can relax when he is finished taking out the trash, washing the dishes (presuming that I actually cook somethin'), and picking up his dirty underwear!

    We don't have little "treasures" yet...but if we did...half of that pot o gold is his to take care of!

    Hubby loves me with or without makeup, ribbons, and parfum:kiss

    Was this written by a man hahahahahahahahahhahahaha
  11. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from asoldierswife05
    My husband can relax when he is finished taking out the trash, washing the dishes (presuming that I actually cook somethin'), and picking up his dirty underwear!

    We don't have little "treasures" yet...but if we did...half of that pot o gold is his to take care of!

    Hubby loves me with or without makeup, ribbons, and parfum:kiss

    Was this written by a man hahahahahahahahahhahahaha

    I think it was written by a man too
  12. by   ZASHAGALKA
    It was a different time.

    Yeah, lots of things have changed for the better.

    But lots of things have changed for the worse.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to equal rights. But I am opposed to some aspects of it. Equal rights also means that the girls in my boys' schools these days are as equally or more sexually forward than my boys are.

    Equal rights means that dating for me includes the standard of sex by the third date. If I decide to put that off because I'd like to get to know a woman first, then I'M weird. Go figure.

    And knock it all you want, but the trade off of 1 bread winner and 1 family builder has become 2 bread winners and the 24 hr a day lifestyle necessary to maintain it. We have become a two-income, overtime and overtaxed, desperate and emotionally starved anti-depressant dependent, divorced prone, un-neighborly and angry mass.

    No wonder so many people are on anti-depressants. We weren't designed to live like this.

    When there was 1 BW and 1 FB, all those women living on the same street got to know each other and being a community meant something more.

    And I just don't understand a society that thinks delegating the raising of their kids to strangers is a good thing. OK OK, it WAS a sexist society against women. But not because women were raising their kids. That was a perk. And before anybody complains about what I just said, IF you put your kids in daycare - don't you wish you didn't have to?

    I'm not saying I'd like to go back to 'the good old days'. But they were more than the 'bad old days' portrayed in that fictional email.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
    Last edit by ZASHAGALKA on Dec 1, '05
  13. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from ZASHAGALKA
    It was a different time.

    Yeah, lots of things have changed for the better.

    But lots of things have changed for the worse.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to equal rights. But I am opposed to some aspects of it. Equal rights also means that the girls in my boys' schools these days are as equally or more sexually forward than my boys are.

    Equal rights means that dating for me includes the standard of sex by the third date. If I decide to put that off because I'd like to get to know a woman first, then I'M weird. Go figure.

    And knock it all you want, but the trade off of 1 bread winner and 1 family builder has become 2 bread winners and the 24 hr a day lifestyle necessary to maintain it. We have become a two-income, overtime and overtaxed, desperate and emotionally starved anti-depressant dependent, divorced prone, un-neighborly and angry mass.

    No wonder so many people are on anti-depressants. We weren't designed to live like this.

    When there was 1 BW and 1 FB, all those women living on the same street got to know each other and being a community meant something more.

    And I just don't understand a society that thinks delegating the raising of their kids to strangers is a good thing. OK OK, it WAS a sexist society against women. But not because women were raising their kids. That was a perk. And before anybody complains about what I just said, IF you put your kids in daycare - don't you wish you didn't have to?

    I'm not saying I'd like to go back to 'the good old days'. But they were more than the 'bad old days' portrayed in that fictional email.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
    You have a valid point and agree with you. The thing is that with all this evolvement, many folks have not learned to balance it.
  14. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Equal rights also means that the girls in my boys' schools these days are as equally or more sexually forward than my boys are.
    Yeah but some of the old traditions continue. Boys are still studs, girls are still *****.

    Can't win for losing.

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