how queer is this

  1. when i was married to my ex his family used to drive me crazy.
    they are socially retarded and the one the tie that binds them is alcohol. try sitting with drunken social retards.
    christmas was always the worst. we would all go there with our kids who were treated like "things" rather than humans. christmas was always in the basement because my mother in law never wanted anyone to mess up her upstairs. one of my daughters is now 13. she has only been upstairs once in her life.
    i always wanted to buy them velvet ropes. lol

    the christmas gift thing always made me mad.
    it started out that everyone bought something for everyone. as the family grew it became more financially difficult so they decided to change it to "buy for all the kids" and a grab bag for the adults. the grab bag was discontinued due to financial difficulties (these people all have money..thats what gets me)
    then they decided that buying for all the kids was too expensive. there are 7 kids in the family.
    so they had a grab bag for the kids. that was discontinued due to financial difficulties. now nobody buys for anyone. just the parents (grandparents) exchange gifts. actually, my ex mother in law hands out envelopes and opens presents for herself.
    gifts of money were always given like this...
    if my husband(ex) got $100, i got $50 and the kids got $25 each.
    i was only a "half" member of the family and the kids were only "quarter" members i guess...lol
    same with birthdays.
    when my son turned 18 they decided 18 was the cutoff date for gifts and he got nothing. the next year they decided to raise that to 21.
    in the meantime one of their grandkids used to sneak upstairs when he was there and steal money and crystal...but that was ok cos he wasnt 21 yet so he still got gifts.

    my kids dont think much of grandma and grandpa..my son worships the ground they walk on but the girls cant stand them.

    they expect the kids to come and visit them but when they do they are supposed to sit in the basement and quietly watch tv or play with their cousins who are also social retards. they never get more than hello from their grandparents.
    their uncles never acknowledge their existance.
    my ex tells his mom how bad my kids are and that they dont help him. his mom thinks they should do all of the cleaning since i dont live there and they were born without a penis.
    she tells them that if they dont help their dad more she is not giving them anything for christmas or their birthdays.

    my 15 year old wont go there anymore. she refuses to attend any family functions because she does not like the way she is treated. she refuses to be manipulated with their money and she refuses to be treated like a "thing".

    and why do they think she acts like this? because i turned her against them of course. it couldnt possibly be them...lol

    this year she got nothing for christmas...they have disowned her.
    what a nice family.
    Last edit by thisnurse on Dec 27, '01
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   KRVRN
    Queer, very queer.
  4. by   Q.
    Oh...ThisNurse...

    Your post made me chuckle. In a time of SERIOUS family dysfunction, one can appreciate the OTHER side's dysfunction.

    My in-laws on my husband's mother's side have abandoned my husband's step sister, whom they have raised since she was 13. She was my husband's step-father's daughter from a previous marriage. Suddenly, when the step-father died 2 years ago, the step sister was disowned - her and her two illegitimate children. This bothers my husband, and after I spent hours cooking a meal for 7 people, realized that the tension was so thick with this group and they were so unappreciative of the effort my husband and I went through that we are not doing this again.

    On MY side, my father is an end-stage alcoholic who's mother has blamed my sister and I for his illness all our lives. We were evil when we were born and will forever be evil in her eyes. My father was sober for Christmas this year and is trying his best, although 2 weeks ago he was so stoned he couldn't remember us at all, suffered a head injury and he has ammonia circulating in his blood (I'm assuming from dysfunctional breakdown of the ETOH by the liver, I'm not sure). His blood ETOH content at 10am was .2. If he continues this way, he will dead in 6 months. He weighs 130lbs at 5'9. It's sad. But what can you do?

    ThisNurse, I appreciate your post. Made me find the humor in some of the mess.

  5. by   thisnurse
    sometimes you just HAVE to laff
    or you might start crying and not be able to stop.

    i have always said i could write a book. nobody would believe me though.

    the funniest thing about this family is that they are functionally dysfunctional. they think they are so close to each other and yet they would sell their mom for 50 cents.
    they get along by drinking and telling each other how inferior they are to each other.
    the one with the most money wins.

    EVERYTHING is based on money. i mean EVERYTHING.
    they never decline invitations to weddings or even wakes because there is free food and drink.
    his one uncle used to ask for a box and take home half of the wedding cake and whatever food was left on the table.
    when i would have them over for a party or dinner i threatened to put those small plastic shovels out instead of forks.

    words of endearment his mom used for her kids..
    "you ugly looking freak" and "you big fat horse"
    those were the ones she used for company. who knows what she called them when nobody was around.

    and god forbid you get something nice. they arent happy for you. we got a brand new truck. his brother went out and bought the exact same truck, same color, same everything...then had the number I airbrushed on the back of his. we were supposed to be jealous. its hard for me to be jealous of stupidity.
    my ex bought a used vet. his brother went to a car show and bought some custom chopped up thing that used to be a vet but looks like the batmobile. all of his neighbors in the trailer park were impressed.now it sits in his garage. he doesnt drive it but he dusts it once in a while.
    same brother. i bought my dream car, used. he looked up the blue book value. we went to a wedding the next day. his brother told everyone the blue book value of my car and how i got "taken" lol
    his older brother never sells his old cars. he keeps them in the driveway. hes been doing this since the 70's. he has quite a collection. he likes to watch them rot.
    same brother...tells his friend we might be selling an old tractor for 75 bucks. we never said we were selling it but thought about it and decided to sell it. his brother demanded 35 bucks for telling his friend. ex gave it to him. "finders fee"
    they go to picnics and everything they bring is meat. macaronni salad has meat. meat is the main course. for desert they have meat...IM NOT KIDDING!

    all of them are divorced at least once. except one and hes gay. quite the embarassment to such a macho family. never dawns on them that it might be THEM...nah its always that crazy ex wife.

    for example...they said i used to hang blood bags (iv bags filled with blood) on my bed.
    i had death symbols in my room (a pentagram)
    dont even ask where they came up with this stuff. i have no idea)
    i turned my kids against them...like they needed help.

    yeah i think im gonna write a book...lol
    i am SOOO glad to be away from them. i think tho that the funniest thing of all is that they see themselves as a prestigious old family. i found out after i got out of that family, that most people see them as a bunch of weirdos...lol
  6. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Why, around the holidays, do the dysfunctions seem to intensify?

    My 21 year old brother-in-law (husband's younger brother) was very depressed on xmas eve at the family function. The night before, his stripper girlfriend said she was going to get some milk & bread, never to return. The police called & woke him up (he fell asleep waiting) & told him the story. Seems she sold his car to the drug man for some crack. Spent the night cracking it up, then whoring it up for more crack, then cracking it up some more. Then she turned herself in to the local ER. Now, he had just announced to my hubby & myself 3 nights before that "SURPRISE" she was 5 months pregnant and they're getting married soon. Keep in mind, they've been back together this time for 3 months. Actually, if my math is correct, she concieved while in jail the last time...

    Anyhoo, my precious mother-in-law proceeded to tell him what a f**k up he was every chance she got. I kid you not, she was making nasty comments under her breath while he opened his freakin presents! Then her newest boyfriend (she never keps one for more than a year) started in on him. Tempers flared, obviously, because you can only point out the dysfunction of a family if you ACTUALLY belong to it. So the really drunk people beat up on the boyfriend a little, and the semi-drunk & (few) sobers went out looking for the brother-in-law who had stormed out & started walking home, and my mother-in-law is screaming and crying outside, turning the whole thing into HER drama. "They're gonna make me choose between my kid & my man!" "Why does this always happen to me?"


    Fa la la la la......

    Heather
  7. by   semstr
    Know something, it is the same here on the other side of the big ocean!!
    My mom is bipolar and in december she is always at her "best"
    She starts drinking too, ooohhh how nice with her condition and everything!
    One of the reason I seldom go to Holland for christmas, and the reason why my oldest sister comes to me, with her family.

    but still, although mom phones at 2 am, calling us names and cries and whatever................ blood is thicker as noodle-soup

    I really like that expression, 'cause it is so true!

    Sometimes it takes months to forgive her, but in the end I do, she's my ma and she is sick. (although she says she isn't)

    Take care, Renee
  8. by   Q.
    Renee:

    I feel for you. My father would call me in the middle of the night - drunk, telling stories. etc.
    OR I would get a call from my mom saying she's taking dad to the ER because he's unresponsive.

    I love my father, but I've learned I can't do anything about it. I just take it day by day and pray for the best.
  9. by   semstr
    Thanks Suzy, that's the way we are able to see it now too.
    Took a long time though!!

    Take care, Renee
  10. by   rosemadder
    thanks and condolences!!! you guys! i am praying for all of you and your families and exfamilies. you really made me feel much better about my own dysfunctional group! your posts made me appreciate how much worse it could be than it is. thank you and i'm sorry!
  11. by   pkmom
    Someone said something along the lines of you gotta laugh or you'll cry. That's true. i thought my family was messed up, but after reading earlier posts, I guess they're okay. I have a cousin who met a girl had a baby, got married, lost the baby to child protective services, had twins, regained custody of the first child, then got a divorce. the last time i saw him, he was drunk and hitting on my older cousin. My grandparents have 7 great grandchildren, 6 of them are illegitament (SP?) I hate going to their house, its so depressing. misery lurks in the walls there. I hope you guys with crazy families find comfort.

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