How do you handle .... (warning long rant :) )

  1. How do you handle someone rolling their eyes at you for no good reason?

    Some background -

    We have a paper due next month that is based on a research article that we do not have yet. In class, someone else asked when would we be receiving this article. We're not getting it until the end of this month.

    I quietly made the comment to my classmate that it would be nice if they went ahead and gave it to us. (There are several people that want it now. Not only to write the paper, but to take the article to class and work on the section that is being covered in lecture that day.) Well, my classmate commented that it was nice that we were not going to get the article until the end of the month since it would allow for us to concentrate on other subjects. Now.... I thought this was beign ... I commented: Yeh, but if they gave the article to us sooner rather than later, then those who wanted or needed to work on it now could and those who didn't want to work on it could chose to wait. Then she - bigger than day - rolled her eyes at me!!!
    Now this isn't the first time she's done this.

    But was I totally out of line with what I said??

    I'm not a get-everything-done-asap-kiss-the-professor's-arse type of person, but since I am a single mom and I do have to prioritize. (She knows this.) Most of the people who know me totally understand my situation. And, she's not some young person that hasn't lived life.

    I also find it rude that she does this to a lot of people....

    So, do I just ignore it and not talk to her but be friendly when I'm around her?

    Or do I try to tell her so she doesn't lose friends by her actions?

    or .... something totally different?

  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   caroladybelle
    Ignore it - it's not worth the time and energy to fight about.

    Of course such behavior will impair her ability to get a job, so she should learn that it is inappropriate, but that behavior between fellow students is annoying but not really something that can be addressed tactfully.
  4. by   Mattigan
    Next time tell her you're going to get her some of that new medicine that keeps people from rolling their eyes because you can see where she has a problem with hers. Then just carry on as usual. Every time she does it say something similar or at random moments look at her closely and say you are just checking eye position to see if your mom was telling you the truth and they did stick that way. Just anything ... it worked for me.
  5. by   emily_mom
    My MIL accuses me of rolling my eyes at her all the time. Either I do it and don't know, or she is insane. It's a toss-up...

    I would say something that you find it rude that she does that. That is my peeve (although I am way guilty of it too... )
  6. by   Mattigan
    Originally posted by caroladybelle
    is annoying but not really something that can be addressed tactfully.

    Your answer was much better than mine. I have a tact problem ... I can see it. Mine worked for me , though. The woman has not rolled her eyes at anyone on our unit since.
  7. by   plumrn
    You know, you're going to run into people like this every once in a while throughout your life. They're not worth worrying over. She obviously doesn't care if you get upset over her eye rollin', or she wouldn't have done it right in front of you.
    Of course, you didn't say anything to cause such rudeness, and I wouldn't waste another minute of your precious time worrying about her poor communication skills. Just continue to be your normal, friendly self when you are around her, and you won't have a possibly uncomfortable confrontation to mull and worry over, further taking your mind away from your higher priority of getting thru. school.
  8. by   emily_mom
    What the heck...I didn't post twice....
    Last edit by emily_mom on Mar 13, '03


    I would probably just make some smart ass comment like "Ya better watch out or those eyes are gonna roll right outta your head!"

    Fight fire with fire, I say.
  10. by   Stargazer
    Is it possible she's not aware she's doing it? She may have been doing it for so long it's an unconscious reflex by now. I don't see why you couldn't just say nicely, "You know, I really do find it offputting and rather rude when you roll your eyes at something I've said. If you have a response, I'd prefer it to be verbal so I don't misunderstand you."

    ...or you could yell, "OMG, her eyes are rolling back in her head! Call 911, she's having a seizure!" as you tip her to the floor and jam a tongue blade into her mouth.* Your call.

    *Yes, I am aware this is not correct treatment for an actual seizure patient.
  11. by   llg
    You could simply be polite and ignore it. That would be a fine choice.

    However, if you think she may need your help in changing this annoying behavior, you might help her become aware of it by responding politely to it. For example .... you might say, "What? ... pause ... do you think I am being unreasonable?" Politely "force" her to openly speak her thoughts instead of just conveying them via her facial expression. As others have said, she may be unaware that her facial expression (eye rolling) is betraying thoughts that are not coming out her mouth.

    If she says, "No, you're not being unreasonable." Then you might say something like, "Oh good. You looked as though you thought I was being unreasonable."

    After a few encounters like this, she might become a little more conscious of what her face was saying -- realizing perhaps for the first time that people were "reading" her facial expressions. To avoid either betraying thoughts that she wishes to keep private and/or to avoid misinterpretation, she might begin being more careful.

  12. by   Lausana
    llg you're so nice! Unfortunately, I've felt like a real PITA lately so I'd probably say something sarcastic re: the eyerolling.

    Simply because I'm a TERRIBLE eyeroller...I've just gotten smart enough not to do it to someone's face.

    In your case Kitty, I'd let it go this time, could've just been off day for her. If it happened again, I'd say something. :kiss
    Last edit by Lausana on Mar 13, '03
  13. by   emily_mom
    Originally posted by Stargazer

    ...or you could yell, "OMG, her eyes are rolling back in her head! Call 911, she's having a seizure!" as you tip her to the floor and jam a tongue blade into her mouth.* Your call.

    *Yes, I am aware this is not correct treatment for an actual seizure patient.
  14. by   BadBird
    Next time she approaches you just roll you eyes and walk away, it should get the message across.