How do you decide?

  1. My husband and I are getting ready to make out wills. One topic we need to decide on is who would get custody of our sons if we would both die before they were adults. How do you make this kind of decision? My husband has six siblings, and 4 are automatically eliminated for various reasons (too old, too dumb, etc..). I have 2 siblings but both of them live 300 miles away which would mean totally uprooting our children if that would ever happen. But my parents are also near my sister and brother so my kids would be closer to them. This is such a tough decision....My husband's one sister and her husband would probably be the best choice, but their money is pretty tight and I don't know if they could take on 3 more kids....my head is just spinning thinking of it...:spin: :spin: :spin:

    ....
    •  
  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   Mimi Wheeze
    I'm no expert, but I think your kids should go where you think they will be raised the happiest and healthiest. If you feel your sister and brother in law will raise your kids that way, and they are willing to take them in the event of your demise (God forbid) then I would choose them reguardless of their financial situation.

    I just thought of something...if you and your hubby have really good life insurance, then could that money go into an account to help your sis/bro in law raise them?
  4. by   Stormy
    Tough thing to think about, isn't it? If you think the best place for your kids was with your hubby's sister and her husband, I would suggest talking to her to see how she feels about the additional financial responsibility. Sometimes the best place isn't necessarily the place with the most money! I agree...your life insurance would help them with the responsibility.
  5. by   sanakruz
    Get some input from the kids,too. Ask a hypothetical question like" If you had to live with any relatives besides mom and dad, who would you pick and why?
    Life insurance is worth the peace of mind.
  6. by   LilgirlRN
    If you think your husband's sister and husband would be a good choice just make sure you have enough life insurance to take care of your kids so they wouldn't be a financial burden to them. Suze Ormand has a good book that lays out how to have a living trust (I think that's what she recommends), it's the best way to do it so that there aren't any probate taxes etc. Sorry can't remember the name of the book. Luckily for me my kids are grown and I don't have this decision to make. Good luck.
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    I guess they don't really have orphanages anymore.
    We are in the same boat.
    My Brother has said he and his wife would take the kids and the kids would be ok with that (we talked about it) but we have yet to put it in a will and make it official.
    We have plenty of life insurance so there would be no worries there. We just need to get off our butts and write it down.
    -Russell
  8. by   deespoohbear
    With our life insurance and what would be available from our farm hubby's sister would probably be the best choice. The boys really like their Aunt Jan and Uncle Jim...


    I know having a lot of money is not important, but my SIL and her family REALLY have things tight...they are pretty decent at managing the money they have now...

    Will discuss with our attorney about financial arrangements for the boys if they would ever have to be in that situation...

    Thanks for all the advice....

close