How do I keep my kids off drugs?

  1. I am feeling really sad and anxious this evening. A man with whom my husband used to work found his 19-year-old son dead in his neighbor's yard from a drug overdose. The man leaves for work early in the morning at around 3:30 to 4:00 a.m. and found his son's body. They're speculating that the boy was trying to make it home when he collapsed and died. My heart is just breaking for the family. I suppose it's bad enough to lose a child, but can you imagine being the one to find him? And he was a good boy, too. He played varsity basketball for the high school, and the family goes to church. I have a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old. How do I keep them off of drugs? Your suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
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  2. 31 Comments

  3. by   jkaee
    Quote from SonyMom
    I am feeling really sad and anxious this evening. A man with whom my husband used to work found his 19-year-old son dead in his neighbor's yard from a drug overdose. The man leaves for work early in the morning at around 3:30 to 4:00 a.m. and found his son's body. They're speculating that the boy was trying to make it home when he collapsed and died. My heart is just breaking for the family. I suppose it's bad enough to lose a child, but can you imagine being the one to find him? And he was a good boy, too. He played varsity basketball for the high school, and the family goes to church. I have a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old. How do I keep them off of drugs? Your suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

    That is such a sad situation....a fellow nursing student died about 4 years after graduation of an overdose....he was a good student, and a friendly guy, but drugs just overtook him.
    There is no simple formula or way to keep your kids off drugs. I have seen different approaches done by parents.....from "If you ever try drugs, please tell me so we can talk...." to "If you ever try drugs, I'll kick you out of the house...". My 2 oldest are about the same age as yours (have an almost 10 year old, 4 year old, and 18 months old.) My oldests school does a lot of drug assemblies, the 4 year old is too young to understand. My oldest and I occaisionally talk about it, but it's when she hits high school that I'd begin to worry. So many kids experiment, and leave it at that. Others acquire drug habits. You just never know.

    Like I said, there's no surefire way to prevent any of this. Education, talks, and a clear understanding of the consequences are a start. We just can't protect them forever, and that's so scary to me, too.
  4. by   TweetiePieRN
    I do not have any children, but I am a youngin' and might be able to give info to you based on that perspective. My parents were very open with me about the dangers of drugs. They also told me that alot of people will experiment with them, and alot get hooked. My mom's biggest slogan was "Be a leader, not a follower".

    Granted, Like most teenagers I did try marijuana a few times and a drink here and there...but never to the point of no return and NEVER due to peer pressure (mainly tried them out of curiosity). I never drank and drove. My mom told me that if I ever was drinking at a party and needed a ride home..CALL HER AND NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I only had to take her up on that offer one time!! After that, I was always the designated driver.

    I was NOT a party animal in highschool, but was well liked and invited to the parties nonetheless. I was a great kid who didn't even need a curfew because I would come home really early!! (I guess my parents gave me the sense of having control over myself, so I never felt the urge to break the rules or push my parents to the limit) I never gave into peer pressure...I tried drinking and pot on my very own. My parent's honesty and openness about drug/alcohol use made it easy for me say no to drugs and alcohol. I am in my early 20s now and am not interested in drugs at all, but I like a drink once in a blue moon.

    I truly believe that if you are blunt and honest with your children, they will respect that and respect your rules. Good luck!!
  5. by   renerian
    This is a very hard struggle. You can say your piece. School says it's piece and so does the law. Many times we lose out to peer pressure.

    I don't know. I pray ALOT. I educated till I am blue in the face. Now it is a crap shoot.

    renerian
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Very astute post tweetiepie. I like hearing a younger person's perspective.

    I am sorry about the senseless loss of this young person to drugs. It is so sad to hear things like this. All we can do is educate and love our kids enough to intervene where we can. I think what we could all do better is LISTEN. LISTEN to what our kids are saying each day and be open to talk anytime they show signs of needing it. What can I say? I don't have the answers; I do have a lot of concerns like anyone else here. I am sorry to read this story, just so sorry.
  7. by   H ynnoD
    Try taking them To some Narcotic Anonymous meetings.There they can hear from all walks of life what drugs have done to them.I was addicted to drugs for 26 years.The only reason I ever tried was for lack of information.In the 60's you were'nt told much except alot of not very true infomation that drugs would make you go crazy and stuff like that.I did'nt see a whole lot of crazy people running around,so tried it to see if it was true.My kids have seen the effects of drugs and say they will never do them.Make sure your kids have all the information you can give them so they don't have to find out the hard way.Kind of like sex.2 cents from an ex-drug addict.
  8. by   gypsyatheart
    What a horrible thing to have happen. I can't imagine losing a child! It is very hard, especially in today's world. The only thing I would add is you need to start talking to them when they are young! Whatever you do don't wait until high school! You should start educating them when they start elementary school...I know it sounds harsh and they are very young, but you tailor what you say to their age! This is the mistake so many parents make....they think they need to worry once the child is in high school. Believe me, the exposure starts much younger than that! I know it sounds crazy, but it's true!
    I'd rather have my child scared and alive, than ignorant and dead.
  9. by   Dr. Gonzo
    Quote from SonyMom
    I am feeling really sad and anxious this evening. A man with whom my husband used to work found his 19-year-old son dead in his neighbor's yard from a drug overdose. The man leaves for work early in the morning at around 3:30 to 4:00 a.m. and found his son's body. They're speculating that the boy was trying to make it home when he collapsed and died. My heart is just breaking for the family. I suppose it's bad enough to lose a child, but can you imagine being the one to find him? And he was a good boy, too. He played varsity basketball for the high school, and the family goes to church. I have a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old. How do I keep them off of drugs? Your suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
    I remember when i was in high school my teacher brought a heroin addict to speak to us he was telling us how he was homeless how he went to prison basically how crappy heroin made his life he was trying to scare everyone into not doing drugs. Well about half the class was stoned including myself so it had almost zero affect on us. The bottom line i cant think of any good advice for you other then to say to you just talk to them about the dangers and consequencesof of using drugs and hopefully they wont end up like the heroin addict speaker at my school that ended up getting life in prison for arm robbery.
  10. by   nurseunderwater
    as i former "troubled teen", very troubled, my advise to to always keep communication open with your kids. my mom turned the other cheek a lot and as a result the problems i had leading up to my difficulties went unheard. I didn't feel supported by mom and was never given the tools i needed to make proper choices. As a result I never shared with her what i was going through and the result was a poor one. Boundaries are mighty important and so is education and the abilty to listen to both the good and the bad. good luck!
  11. by   Rustyhammer
    If they do drugs I'll be force to show them my size 12's.
    -R
  12. by   darla80
    I too am sorry about the losss of a young adult to drugs..

    This is sad for his family and all those who knew him..before I talk about the drugs I do have to say .. This family will grieve and will need support and acceptance from you!!

    My gang is now 23.. 21 and 18. the oldest are boys and my baby is a girl

    our approach.. prayer, comittment to self, to family, and to God and then most importatntly communication

    It is intertesting ..the communication style I chose with my oldest was not the best style for my youngest so seek out the style that works for each on as individuals..

    conitinue to know your children, listen to them, invite thier friends to your house...have some things the neighborhood likes to do,..we ate cheaply and bought a fooseball table ,.,, noisy but fun and I learned alot about my kids watching them interact with thier friends

    open doors... physically and emotionally help to keep them safe

    the mere fact that you are thinking about this will help your children stay away from drugs....Putting Power into Parenting is essential and it sounds like you are into it ..I wish good Luck and Godspeed!!

    Joy and Smiles * Darla
  13. by   Soonstudent
    From some of my first memories I can remember my parents / grandparents always telling me to never start smoking, how it was bad for you, and how it was almost impossible to quit. Everyone of them smoked and even though they weren't setting a good example, I think even at a young age, 7 or 8, by them admiting their problem and how much of a hard time they were having with it. I realized if these people I looked up to were having this hard of a time with smoking and were telling me how wrong it was, I'd never do it. I've never smoked an entire cigarette in my life. Now drinking is a different storie. I can remember my grandad saying " Boy, if you ever smoke a cigarette I'll kick you ***, but if you want to take a drink ever now and then, that's ok" I know I was younger than 9 when he told me this. Of course all
    of my family also drank. Unlike cigarettes, they never told me how bad alcohol was. The first time I got drunk I was 13. I can remember me and some of my friends mixing scope with vodka, just enough to make it green, and drinking it in history class in the 8th grade, I'm 23 now and I've been struggling with it every since.

    Don't wait till high school to talk with your kids, It could be to late. I believe communication from a very you age is probably the best chance you have.

    Such a sad story about a kid dying from drugs or alcohol. My thoughts go out to the family. Brandon
  14. by   gwenith
    I often think that the "stranger danger" approach has some merit.

    From little kids we teach them stranger danger - never accept a ride from a stranger - so why should they accept a "trip" from a stranger too??

    Don't warn them about drugs making them high or leading them into a life of crime because "that will never happen to me"

    Do tell them about the one who are walking around without limbs because the !@#@ they shot up was laced with something NASTEEE or the person who ended up brain damaged and drooling or the person who - you get the drift - play up the nasties including infection and by this I do not mean HIV and Hep a-z I mean staph abcesses and endocarditis and everthing else we try to avoid with sterility in hospitals. When it comes to damage - talk about nasal erosion from coke and there is just so much.

    Don't leave them in the dark.

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