How do I cope?

  1. I don't want to make anyone feel sorry for me to start off. I am trouble dealing with the death of my boyfriend. He was killed in a motorcycle accident April 13, 2003, along with a friend of his. It was not their fault and they were not breaking any laws. Someone hit them head-on. He was riding with 3 other friends of his also. 2 of them were injured.

    John and I had been going out for 5+ years. I was about to graduate from nursing school and I tried not to think about it to get me through nursing school. Although I was distraught I graduated May 9. I pass my boards about 3 weeks ago. Now that this is off my shoulders I feel very alone and do not know how to cope in the lonely times. I lost my best friend and I miss him so much.

    I was just wondering if anyone had any words of wisdom and web-sites that could help me out.

    Thanks for taking time out to read this.
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   petiteflower
    I wish I had those words of wisdom--all I can say is we are here for you, and I am so sorry about your loss.

    ((((((((Kelly))))))))))
  4. by   NurseKelly03
    Thanks. It's good just to hear someone is hear for me.
  5. by   cwazycwissyRN
    (((((((nursekelly03)))))))))

    I have not any words of wisdom. I can say that often times when tragic events occur, when one is under alot of stress, that the pains and emotions can be left on the back burner. You are to be complimented on the strength it took to endure and go on with school. This takes alot of courage and character. I fear you may have been so strong and so busy with school, that the reality of the loss you suffered was not fully uncovered......until now......now that you have accompished your task. You now have the time to reflect and FEEL the loss. This can come crashing in very harshly. If this does occur, I hope you seek profesional help. This does not make you weak or different.....it happens to people. I do not see you as seeking someone to feel sorry for you, I see you as someone who needs to be understood...... Someone who needs someone to give you permission to grieve a true loss. My heart goes out to you and I wish you well.
  6. by   jemb
    ((((((Kelly)))))) What a sad time you are going through right now. I, too, think you could benefit from some professional counseling. I would suggest finding someone experienced in grief counseling.

    You sound very strong and capable, having continued on with your schooling and taking the boards at this time in your life. You are probably especially lonely now that you are no longer in the same routine of school, or seeing the same people on a regular basis.

    I can't even begin to imagine how "unfinished" it must feel that he is is not there now to share your successes with you.

    Please continue to talk with us on the board. PM me if you wish.
  7. by   karenG
    hugs......... I have no words of wisdom. lost my best friend when he suicided some years ago. I still miss him.

    Karen
  8. by   Tweety
    NurseKelly03

    I'm so sorry you're going through some tough lonely times. Are there any grief support groups in your area? Being around others who have suffered a loss may help.

    Hugs.
  9. by   Brownms46
    Nursekelly03,

    I'm very sorry to hear of your lost.... I have found these links that I hope will give you some help in dealing with this. One is a site for those who are greiving, and the other are books, that I think might be helpful. I'm sure nothing will help take away the pain, as soon as you would wish. I just pray that you will continue to stay as strong as you are. Unfortunately , you will have to help others deal with loss in your new career. I wish you all the best, and congrats on continuing on with your goals, dispite your emotional pain.

    http://www.committment.com/shtchats.html
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...320144-2492058
    http://www.griefjournal.com/
    Last edit by Brownms46 on Jul 23, '03
  10. by   funnygirl_rn
    NurseKelly, so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you. As other posters suggested, have you looked in your local paper for bereavement support groups. Sometimes it helps to have others around who have also experienced a similar loss.

    My health insurance didn't cover any sort of counseling or therapy, so I attended a local support group that was held at a church in my area. The people there were wonderful, supportive, helpful, and caring. Friendships were formed and I had support and/or a friend(s) that I could call day or night. I also went to the library and checked out a few books that were helpful. Wish I knew the title of these books, but I don't..sorry...it was years ago. Oh, something else I did was keep a journal.

    Wishing you the best. Prayers & hugs to you.
  11. by   Tilleycs
    No words of wisdom, I'm just so sorry for your loss...
  12. by   nursegoodguy
    Poor baby..
    it just takes a lot of time to begin to ease the pain you feel and the loneliness... I think probably when you were having to deal with completing your nursing program you felt like you were doing a little better because you didn't have time to think... now you need to allow yourself the time to grieve... you have to go through the process... little by little start getting yourself busy again even though all you will want to do is nothing....
  13. by   nursenoelle
    I agree, see if there are any support groups or counselors that deal with loss in your area. I am sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))
  14. by   LauraF, RN
    Sorry to hear of your loss Kelly. There are just not words to replace the love of someone so dear.

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