How do I help my girl?

  1. Oh the woes of parenthood! My 15 year old daughter is breaking up with her boyfriend of one year, actually he is breaking up with her. she is soooo sad. I just dont know what to say or do to help her feel better. They did alot of fun things together, and it was very unexpected for her. We are all family friends, and now she wont go anywhere where the two families are together. Seeing a child hurt is worse than hurting ourselves!! I remember 15 and 1st love, and it just plain sucks that MY kid has to go thru this!!! Why is it that a mom just cant take the pain for the kid, so they dont have to? well, just needed to whine and ramble! thanks for listening!
  2. Visit itsme profile page

    About itsme

    Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 600; Likes: 9
    LPN in LTC


    Awwww... poor baby!

    I dunno what to tell you to do except be there for her. That sure does feel like the end of the world when you're in it....

    Hugs and kisses for you and your girl! :kiss

  4. by   emily_mom
    Drag her out of the house and do something shopping or something.

    And I second what Heather said. I remember that time, and it really does seem like your world is ending!

    Hugs to you and your daughter!

  5. by   nursedawn67
    She will get over it, just be there for her. My daughter went through the same thing. About 2 weeks I worried about her, and then she just decided no one was worth all this, and moved on. She is now dating another boy...going on almost a year with this one.
  6. by   itsme
    Thanks for all your replies! I just hate to see her so upset! The shopping always works! Either that or get her a bean bag with his picture and let her punch out her frustrations!! Just kidding, she would probably just hold it and cry!! She is very involved in extracurricular activities, so hopefully that will help too! what is worse, being that age with a broken heart, or being the mom watch the kids heart get broken? Maybe I will get her some chocolate and we will rent some good movies and have a girls evening!
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    Buy her a horse!
    She will forget about him.
  8. by   Lausana
    What a sweet momma you are! The girl time together sounds great--anything to keep her busy. How about some girly things she wouldn't get to do with the old boyfriend!

    Hope she feels better soon :kiss
  9. by   WashYaHands
    My heart goes out to you and your daughter. That's a tough situation to be in for you both. I like your idea about the chocolate and movies. Hang in there, mom.

  10. by   NurseDennie
    I sound SOOOO mean, but I think it's one of those things that's quite unpleasant but necessary. Along the lines of the immunizations that everybody has to have. Well, not a very good simile, but hopefully you see my point. I just think that some painful things are required at points in your life to help you move onto another stage that you're moving into, or something.

    I suppose there may be a couple in the world who met at a young age, never needed to break up and meet new people, but I've never met any of them. I (personally) wouldn't make a big production of it. I know it's hard to see your own kid unhappy, but sometimes it's going to happen.

    My older daughter met a guy who was 18 when she was 14. She wasn't allowed to date, but, what the heck, she was allowed to go steady with him. I was asking about him before I met him and she said he's 18 and I started to freak, and she said "But he doesn't ACT like he's 18" Oh yeah! Imagine MY relief.

    But anyway, they went steady until she turned 16, at which point she WAS allowed to date. A teeny whisper in her ear that it's okay to be going steady when she wasn't allowed to date was perfectly fine, but it seems pretty silly to be going steady when you're actually allowed to go on real dates.

    She broke up with him and he (yes, at age 20!!!) was crying and hysterical and threatened suicide. So I called his mum and told her what was going on and she was SHOCKED that they were breaking up!!! That whole family thought that they would keep going together until my daughter was old enough to marry and she would *marry* this guy!!!!!!!!!!! She, in a very pained voice, asked me WHY she was breaking up with him. Because.... she's 16!

    So that's it with me. I have to admit that my mother died just a couple of days after I turned 12, so I have no role model for the mother of a teenage girl, but I've never offered another bit of advice about stuff like that to either of my girls. With the older one, I avoided mentioning if I happened to LIKE any of her boyfriends, because I figured that would be the kiss of death for him. Or vice-versa, as well.

    I hope she feels Much better, Soon.


  11. by   BadBird
    {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}, it is so hard being a mom of a teenage daughter. Take her to the mall, get some coffee or lattee and enjoy a nice shopping trip. One good thing about young hearts is they usually mend quickly.
  12. by   JedsMom
    SO sorry for your daughter. I went through the same thing with my son two years ago when he was 16. He was devastated and asked me when the hurting would end. I have never felt so helpless. It's very hard to watch your child hurting and know that you can't make it go away with just a kiss and a hug, but they do get over it eventually. And like Dennie said, it's a necessary part of growing up. But that doesn't make it any more pleasant for you both. My heart goes out to you. Just love her and let her know you're there for her.
  13. by   cactus wren
    The best thing you can do, is be supportive,but not TOO much so....Take her shopping, throw a sleepover for her girl friends, and listen if she wants to talk....but don`t push...I`ll bet that in a week or 2, she`ll come home just giggling about some cute guy that`s flirting with her...and you`ll be fine until the next time.....All a part of growing up............And I agree, the easiest way i found to rid of boy that I didn`t like was talk him up,like he was wonderful.....sure made them disappear in a hurry......

    p.s. Rusty has a good idea,too.....something about girls and horses........but of course if you live in a third floor walkup, would be kinda tough.........
  14. by   RN always
    I know exactly how you feel. My 16 yr old daughter dated a wonderful boy (the kind you would love for her to marry one day). Anyways his father was in the oil business and got transferred to Norway. We live in Alaska so it is like half way around the world. Needless to say she is devasted and heartbroken. I hurt for her so much. I hope your daughter is feeling better soon, along with mine. Life hurts sometimes, but I think it makes them stronger.
    hugs to you and her