she was in the bathroom, putting on hermakeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done
many times before. after she applied her lipstick and started to leave, thelittle one said, "but gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
my young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday. he asked me how old i was, and i told him, "62."
he was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "did you start at 1?"
after putting her grandchildren to bed, agrandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded towash her hair. as she heard the children getting more and morerambunctious, her patience grew thin. finally, she threw a towel around herhead and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern
warnings. as she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with atrembling voice, "who was that?"
a grandmother was telling her littlegranddaughter what her own childhood was like: "we used to skate outside on
a pond. i had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front
yard. we rode our pony. we picked wild raspberries in the woods." the
little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. at last she said, "i sure
wish i'd gotten to know you sooner!"
my grandson was visiting one day when he
asked, "grandma, do you know how you and god are alike?" i mentally
polished my halo while i asked, "no, how are we alike?"
"you're both old," he replied.
[font=lucida sans]a little girl was diligently pounding away
on her grandfather' s word processor. she told him she was writing a story.
"what's it about?" he asked. "i don't know," she replied. "i can't read."
i didn't know if my granddaughter had
learned her colors yet, so i decided to test her. i would point out
something and ask what color it was. she would tell me and was always
correct. it was fun for me, so i continued. at last she headed for the
door, saying sagely, "grandma, i think you should try to figure out some of
when my grandson billy and i entered our
vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects. still, a few fireflies followed us in. noticing
them before i did, billy whispered, "it's no use, grandpa. the mosquitoes
are coming after us with flashlights. "
when my grandson asked me how old i was, i
teasingly replied, "i'm not sure." "look in your underwear, grandpa," he
advised "mine says i'm four to six."
a second grader came home from school and
said to her grandmother, "grandma, guess what? we learned how to make
babies today." the grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep
her cool. "that's interesting, " she said, "how do you make babies?" "it's
simple," replied the girl. "you just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
children's logic: "give me a sentence about
a public servant," said a teacher. the small boy wrote: "the fireman came
down the ladder pregnant." the teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "sure," said the young
boy confidently. "it means carrying a child."
a nursery school teacher was delivering a
station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
sitting in the front seat of the truck was a dalmatian dog. the children
started discussing the dog's duties.
"they use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "no," said another,
"he's just for goodluck." a third child brought the argument to a close.
"they use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...