Hmo Q & A

  1. HMO Q & A

    Q. What does HMO stand for?
    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, 'Hey, Moe!' Its
    roots go back to a concept pioneered by Dr. Moe Howard of "The
    Three Stooges " who discovered that a patient could be made to
    forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough
    in the eyes.

    Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose
    the doctor I want?
    A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents.
    Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the
    doctors who were participating in the plan. These doctors
    basically fall into two categories those who are no longer
    accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no
    longer part of the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor
    who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an
    office just a half-day's drive away and that diploma from a
    small Caribbean Island is very fresh.

    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
    A. No. Only those you need.

    Q. What are preexisting conditions?
    A. This is a term used by the grammatically challenged when
    they want to talk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we
    appear to be pre-stuck with 'pre and now' meaning the same.

    Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
    A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

    Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of
    medicine?
    A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

    Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the
    name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a
    stomach ache. What should I do?
    A. Poke yourself in the eye.

    Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
    A. You really shouldn't do that.

    Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists
    he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really
    perform a heart transplant right in his office?
    A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the
    $10 CO-payment, there is no harm giving him a shot at it.

    Q. Will health care be any different in the next century?
    A. No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment
    by then.

    Pappy
    :roll
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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   adrienurse
    :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
    Pappy! You nut!
  4. by   emily_mom
    ROFLMAO!!!!
  5. by   CATHYW
    Hey, Jon! Where were you when they were trying to teach all of that stuff to us in Nursing School in the early 80's? We didn't have a clue what they were talking about! Your explanations make perfect sense!
    Hugs for you!
  6. by   dianah
    Thank you Thank you Thank you!! Forwarding it to only the most discerning of email recipients on my "list."

    Bless you, Pappy!!

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