Here's a little clarification of typical vacant job listing lingo...

  1. COMPETITIVE SALARY:
    We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
    We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.

    SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:
    ...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.

    CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
    We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

    JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:
    We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.

    MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
    You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
    Some time each night and some time each weekend.

    DUTIES WILL VARY:
    Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
    We have no quality control.

    COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:
    Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy or English.

    NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
    We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

    SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
    You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
    You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
    You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

    GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
    Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and then do it.
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  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   JedsMom
    Dang I work there

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