Help...Personal matter..what would you do?

  1. I'm in a situation, that I don't know which direction to take, but know I need to make a decision soon. My present assignment ends in one month, and really don't want to take another one here.

    I'm an LPN who a great deal of experience in Critical Care, and many different areas of nursing. I have a great desire to become a PA, and feel I need to return to a state that would allow me to do more than I can here in Washington state.

    Here lies my problem. I have met someone here in Wa., that I love dearly, but who isn't very open to relocating from this area. His parent who are getting on in age, live on the eastern side, and his daughter is in school here at UW going into her junior year. His ex is remarried, and his daughter is very independent, and real go getter. She has with an older lady, started her own business.

    We have been together now for 1 1/2yrs, and get along very well. He works for the tribe, and telecommutes for Microsoft, but both jobs are playing out after 10yrs. He also teaches at two colleges part-time, and has now received the ok to take his course online in 2002. He has his Masters from UW in English, History, and is a Writer with a book he is trying to get published.

    I don't want to leave him, and the relationship, but I feel like I'm drowing here! I love the area, just not the work!

    I can get an assignment in either Texas, or SC where I have a standing invitation to return to units I have previously worked as a Travel Nurse. I have also been offered a position as a recruiter for an agency, that would allow me to work from home. But it would take time to start making steady money, until I had obtained a sufficient amount of recruits.

    What would you do? I need some real feedback here, and would appreaciate any thoughtful response. Thanks in advance!

  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   kewlnurse
    I live in a area that I absolutly hate and want to move in a bad way. However my wife won't move, period. If i din't have a kids i would be gone, and I am miserable everyday that I stay here. If you wtay just because of someone else's decision you may regret, and you will definatly use in in future arguments. Just my $4. (adjusted for inflation)
  4. by   Brownms46
    First thank you for the replies ! I was just talking to another friend about this, as I'm feel pressed to make a decision soon. She has thrown in another option in the delimena, of doing permenant placement, which is very lucative once you get started.

    Stargazer, the problem is the place that I'm working at, and several other hospitals in the area. I can do per diem at a hospital that doesn't limit me, but not in critical care. Also I have looked into several programs, as this has been my goal for a number of years. But I haven't looked at a program here on the west coast, except for a dual PA/NP program at Stanford/San Diego. But it would take too long to become a resident, and too much hassle. I also lost a MD who would have been my preceptor, that died of cancer very quickly after DX. The program required you secure one before being accepted or forfiet your space. The program I was really interested in is at MUSC. I had no idea there was a program in Portland. But I will look into it.

    To the others who responded, you're right about my doing what is best for me first, and hoping that love will follow afterwards. But if I wasn't trying to have my cake, and eat it too...I wouldn't be in situation ! I know I would regret not doing what I have my heart set on for so long.

    Also Stargazer, even though I don't like the work, I make too much money to qualify for anything but loans. I would prefer not to mortgage my future, as I have seen too many other reqret this. Yes I'm ready to start school, I guess that is the reason I feel pressed to do something now. I have found out the PA Association (like the AMA) has scholarships, and if I can do the recruiting, maybe I could swing this. If not I may have to bite the bullet, and hope for the best.

    Kewlnurse, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation! I know how it feels to feel like you're treading water, barely able to go through each day! I hope things work out for us both, and those we love will be able to see how much we need them, but also need to breathe again!

    Codebluechic, believe me... my brain is aching right now! I've already talked to him about this, and he does understand..just want him to be with me. Jeeze somebody wave a wand ...please..:-)

    Thank you ALL for responding!

  5. by   mustangsheba
    I think there may be a PA program in Vancouver, WA. I know there are programs in Portland. I can't believe there is not another option somewhere in all this that would work. I don't think you can expect your beau to move; he would be in the position you're in now. Although, there may be an option there too. What does Spokane have to offer? There are good schools there, Idaho is close by, there's a big Res, maybe even a Microsoft something or other. It sounds like your pressure is related to your assignment ending. With your skill, I can't see that as problematic enough to push you into making a hasty decision. There are recruiter positions in WA as well as short term agency assignments. The point is, you don't really have to make a life altering decision right now unless you choose to. The Universe might have something wonderful in store for you if you're not too busy to notice. Best wishes.
  6. by   Stargazer
    Brownie, first of all, are the limitations in your practice due to the nurse practice act in WA, or do they have more to do with the specific institution in which you're working? In other words, could you find a more satisfying assignment---or permanent position--or agency position at another institution in WA where you could practice to the level you're used to?

    Secondly, you mentioned that you want to become a PA. Are you ready to start school? Have you looked into programs in WA State (or nearby, like Portland, OR). Have you looked into financial aid & loans if needed?

    I don't know about you, but in my life, big forks in the road like this are consistently marked with signposts insistently telling me it's time for a major change.

    [ June 13, 2001: Message edited by: Stargazer ]
  7. by   codebluechic
    In ten years what will you regret more, losing a relationship or losing your dreams?Think long and hard about it and go if you have to. If he's worth it your man will understand.
  8. by   Brownms46
    Originally posted by Brownms46:
    <STRONG>The Universe might have something wonderful in store for you if you're not too busy to notice. Best wishes.

    You know mustangsheba...something about the way you put that, rings true! Even though my assignment is's not the reason for my "haste". I have been feeling this way for a while now....about three conracts back, when I had not been able to get back into critical care. I started out in NICU, and then shifted to adult CC. I miss this setting, and the longer I'm away from it, I feel as though I'm vegetating.

    But what you have said, has struck a cord, and I will try to take a step back, and re-evaluate my direction. I will look into other programs also in the surrounding areas. Vancouver sounds like a great place to start. Thanks so very much for taking the time to give me some imput! I was making my self sick over this .

  9. by   mustangsheba
    It's a Buddha thing. Good luck, darlin'. Keep us posted.