Radnurse, not sure what to say except this is what I told my kids.
I explained that in my family, and on my husband's side of the family as well, there is a strong history of alcoholism. I did tell them that it was hereditary, and I warned my kids that experimenting for them would be different than for people who did not have an alcoholic tendency, so they could easily become "hooked," and because of that, once they got addicted to alcohol, it would be very easy to become addicted to other substances.
My son seemed to take this lecture very seriously, it was one of those spur of the moment car ride speeches. He was the one who prompted the question, about why do some people drink alcohol and not become alcoholics while others will. I seized the moment, and that is always the best time. He is 14 1/2, and as far as I know has not done any experimentation. I am sure, like all teens and young adults he will eventually, I just hope I instilled on him the good judgement to know when to stop, and the reassurance that I would be there for him no matter what.
If I told you what I was doing at 14, it would curl your hair!! Let's just hope he won't make my mistakes. Then again, unlike my parents, I am more available for him. Jusr be there. The best time to teach them is when they ask questions about it. I really wanted to see the movie Blow, about the coke dealers, just cause I love Johnny Depp so much. My dtr went to another movie with a friend, so my son came to this one with me. I hoped I was doing the right thing as the whole beginning of the movie more or less glorified drugs and dealing, but we spent a great deal of time discussing it afterwards, and I think it was another teaching opportunity for him.
BTW, I read in a booklet about parents and what to tell kids about drugs, DEFINITELY do NOT admit that you inhaled!! Don't even admit you touched it. I have heeded that advice, so far so good, maybe some day when they are adults we can talk about it, but I will NOT admit that. I won't admit to that, or cutting school, or what age I was no longer a virgin, none of it.
Personally, I had a serious wake up call one day afetr working in the ICU. I was 21. I was about 6 miles from home, we decided to go to a nurses home after work for an "attitude adjustment hour." Well, I guess I adjusted my attitude so well, I had a black out. Last thing I remember was noticing brake lights of the car in front of me and sluggishly thinking, whoa, I better stop now. God was with me to get me home safe that night. That wasn't when I learned my lesson thoug. My girlfriend and I were planning on continuing the evening at the nightclub later on. Well, I went home, and felt nauseous, so I went into the BR. Eventually the feeling subsided, never got sick, this time, but I passed out on the BR floor. I woke up after 11:30 pm, first thing I thought was Damn, I missed the boat to the club!! Of all things. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror, and the imprint of the tile floor was on my drool covered cheek. Somehow the sight of myself just made me realize WHAT am I doing to myself???!!! I made a decision, no more booze for me. I eventually did have a drink or two, but never more than 2, then I switched to soda. No one knew it wasn't a 7&7 in my glass, and I found out I could enjoy others' company just as well, if not more sober. I haven't missed it! I never drink before I have to drive, and since my kids most always need to be driven somewhere after work/school, I can't even have a drink til after 9 or so, then I am so tired, I know if I have a drink I'll be konked out, and I still have work/laundry/dishes to do, so I skip it. One bottle of my favorite Polish Blackberry brandy will last six months or more in the liquor "cabinet, but like you, if I want something more, I have to go out and buy it. Now that my dtr is reaching her hormonal peak, I find the urge for alcohol is much stronger, LOL! But I still won't drink before driving, I just won't ever trust myself like that again. I'm popular at parties, I am the number one chaffuer!
Hope I haven't bored you to tears by now.
Just trust your instincts, and if in doubt, ask your mom, she sounds like a terrific lady!!