Help me, I think I am in love!(and not with my husband) - page 4

Okay here is the deal... Everyone who knows me, knows that I am married! I have 4 wonderful kids and I would never do anything to hurt them! But, here is where the problem comes in...I think I am in... Read More

  1. by   Spidey's mom
    ktwlpn and passing thru . . .

    I hope you guys are highlighting absurdity by being absurd.

    Scratching that itch violates vows . . . . and hurts kids.

    How honorable is that?

    steph
  2. by   passing thru
    OH please,

    No ivory towers !

    The situation is complex enough without dragging HONOR
    into it.

    Honesty, fidelity, and trust are already out the window.

    Lust flew in.

    Satisfy the sexual obsession and then,
    go on with
    family life.

    What's not honorable about that??
    As Shakespeare said, First, to one's ownself be true.....

    If ya wanta do it, do it !!

    No reason to rock everybody elses' world.
  3. by   JMP
    Originally posted by passing thru
    But, Tara's got the HOTS for this guy.

    Ain't no amount of counseling gonna cure the hots.
    Ain't no amount of contemplating the situation gonna cure it.
    Ain't no amount of "rational thinking" (What's that?) gonna cure it.
    People with the hots do not / cannot think rationally,
    or consider others.

    Nuthin gonna cure Tara's problem BUT ONE THANG....

    & you all know it. Get real !!!

    Tara, just go get the itch scratched and be done with it !!

    Have an affair !! Be discreet !!

    No need to break up home & family.
    Passing thru- having an affair is not the answer and advising someone on this subject is clearly not your forte. I think someone in their early twenties with THREE young kids is in no position to be discreet and have an affair. Turning away from her partner and looking outward will not help the marriage.

    I think Rusty had the best advice..... no marriage is sweet and great all the time. highs and lows. Good and bad. It all goes together.

    Please think about what is at risk here..... and at stake. Passing thru....someone on the edge of this kind of situation only needs a small nudge to justifiy their needs and wants.
  4. by   Rustyhammer
    18 years as a nurse (and a man nurse at that) has thrown temptation my way more than a few times. I have this habit of talking highly of my wife and family and I think that has made me an attractive commodity (cause it SURE can't be the looks LOL).
    Through all this temptation I have managed to walk a straight line, though I have come close to losing my balance a time or two.
    Would it have been fun?
    I'm sure it would have.
    Could I have done it and not been caught?
    I'm pretty slick, I think so.
    Could I still look at my lovely wife with the same fire?
    I'm not sure...and that is what keeps me in line.
    Has SHE ever felt the urge to stray?
    She is human isn't she?
    Do I trust her?
    With everything I am and everything I have.
    I don't recommend an affair. Although I've never been there I think it would change things.
    -Russell
  5. by   nowplayingEDRN
    I have 1 thing to say and then I will say no more......I had an itch, I gave in and scratched.....It got found out....What a mess...Took a long LOOOOOOOONG time.....things are better than ever...
    but they are not the same as before.....Do I regret I stumbled off the straight and narrow, you betcha I do......2 kids and the man I love more than life it's self were hurt beyond imagination. There is no such thing as slick and discreet........Don't give in or yield to the itch.....cut ties immediately......get counseling quick....and make some time for you and the hub alone, childless.....talk and rediscover each other......you'd be surprised.....you'll prolly find where the trouble is and be able to fix it.
  6. by   nowplayingEDRN
    And Shakespear ACTUALLY said:

    "Mine honour is my life; both grow in one; take mine honour from me and my life is done" He also said:

    "Life ever man holds dear; but the dear man holds honour far more percious dear than life."

    Therefore, HONOUR is an integral part and must be acknowledged!

    Passing, i acknowledge your opinion but it is far from wise and prudent......It is never right to encourage a person to do wrong.
  7. by   Spidey's mom
    Passing Thru . . . you crack me up.
  8. by   petiteflower
    Rusty
    That was a really cool post. I think she is a very lucky lady.
  9. by   funnygirl_rn
    [UntamedSpirit]...talk and rediscover each other......you'd be surprised.....you'll prolly find where the trouble is and be able to fix it. [/B][/QUOTE]

    DITTO!
  10. by   H ynnoD
    Scratch the itch and you could end up pregnant or with a social Disease,making matters worse then they already are. If my wife would have talked to me about what was wrong with our marriage,things could have been worked out and alot of hurt avoided.Like everyone else says get rid of the boyfriend and seek help.I have never cheated on my wife.I know how it feels to have someone cheat on you and I would'nt wish that on my worst enemy.
  11. by   FROGGYLEGS
    With a few exceptions, I think that you have been given some excellent advice.

    I believe that people do tend to take what is sitting right there in front of them for granted and that "you don't know what you've got til it's gone". I also believe that people tend to remember the good times and can tend to look at events from their past through rose colored glasses.

    Affairs are something that I can't understand. If you can be so sure that you want someone else more than the person you're married to, so sure that you would risk alienation from them should they discover your infidelity, then why not go ahead and end it so you can be with this "wonderful" person.

    What would your reaction be if your husband read this thread or if he were to read those emails? Why didn't it work out with you ex the first time and what would make you think that it will this time?

    You can't safely say that you know your ex now through e-mails. You cant have a relationship based on emails. You only know what they want you to know and you're not really involved with his daily life. If you were to marry the ex then that relationship will have his down sides as well by the time seven years is over.
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Wow comparing relationships to "scratching itches"...kinda makes me ill.......Well we all have heard this cliche (however true it is)----

    Lay down with dogs and ya know what, you might get fleas....



    Just remember there are FIVE OTHER PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THIS SITUATION, not to mention the "ex"........I am talking family members here. What you decide to do is YOUR business, but remember, you don't live in a vacuum. You loved or felt "something" for this man enough to make FOUR kids with him! Also it might be good to remind you, your kids are learning about life, honor (or not) and LOVE relationships by watching YOU. Maybe you want to think hard about what you are teaching them about these important relationships in their lives. We may not like it, but we are living examples to those children we choose to bring into the world. Think about what you want for them in their adult years and relationships and who is modeling the "ideal" for them. Be prepared to answer some really tough questions, whatever way you go. I know, I have already had them thown my way by my son at the ripe old age of 11 (rofl)....

    If I sound "ivory tower"I am sorry. It's how I feel and you *have* asked opinions here. So we gave them. I have noticed the majority have said something to the effect of "stepping back, taking time and thinking about what you have to lose before plunging. " I would listen. This majority is giving you good advice. Be REALLY careful how you proceed here. The price you pay could be high either way you go. Weigh the decisions you make with great care and Best Wishes to YOU!
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jun 24, '03
  13. by   sbic56
    Just one thing to add. I don't see where anyone has mentioned how difficult it will be to be to find a satisfying relationship as a woman with four young kids, unless you are extremely fortunate! I assume that someday you will want that. In no way am I saying that you should stay in this marriage for that reason only, but you should be aware that you may be a single mom from here on out. Finding someone special enough to want to take on this kind of responsibility and who meets your requirements of what you expect a father to be will be no easy task.

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