Help me hold on

  1. Hi guys. Mom got a wonderful flower pot full of roses today. The card read Standing in the gap with you and praying for you. Theresa's Allnurses siblings. I'm telling you,I cried likea baby. You wonderful people never cease to amaze and touch me. I wil never be able to thank you enough for the love you've shown me and my family. Bad news today. Mom has spiked a temp of 102. They did blood cultures and did a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia. She was coughing up brown sputum today. She was so hot to the touch. I'm losing her guys. I can feel it. I'm so scared. This is tearing me apart. I wouldn't know what to do without my Allnurses siblings. I love you all so much. Keep praying for us. Your will Lord not mine. Theresa.
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  2. 36 Comments

  3. by   Brownms46
    We care for you Theresa, and we are here for you...and praying steadily for your MOM, FATHER, and YOU! Hold on...we are still standing in the gap! Much LOVE for you all..
  4. by   Eeyore
    heres ahugg for you
  5. by   bagladyrn
    Theresa - sending you all the hugs and love I can. Wish I could be there to offer you a shoulder to lean on. You have the strength to make it through this, even though right now you don't know it.
  6. by   RNConnieF
    Theresa- Thinking about you. Will add you and Mom to my prayer chain at church, they all prayed for me when my father was at the end of his life's journey and I know it helped. I hope you feel the same comfort.
  7. by   Love-A-Nurse
    here is a (((((theresa))))) and i will continue to pray.
  8. by   duckie
    I love you my dear friend, but I think you know that!!! Let go, let God! Father in your loving hands we place Ruth and know that no matter what happens, you will open your arms of love and compassion and hold her close. I'm here for you ANYTIME!!!!! Tell Ruth I'm sending her a hug right now BUT I expect one in person on your graduation day!!!!!!
  9. by   BadBird
    Thinking of you and your family, Hope you find some comfort, I will keep you in my prayers.
  10. by   NRSKarenRN
    Theresa:

    Letting go is the harddest thing I've ever done in my life. First time was as a new RN in 1983 caring for my father's brother in law; 1989 with my mother in law (and best friend) and December 2001 with my maternal grandmother. All had long term illnesses with increasing repeat hospitalizations. Like you, I just sensed the end was near. Long term mechanical ventialtion in my family's situation would have only prologed their death leading to more suffering.

    My 75 YO cachexic Uncle had end stage COPD. Lung translants were new. I had him admitted due to uncontolled cough and pain management. It broke my heart to hear the Doctor offer false promises of 'Tube feedings to boost him up" before considering a transplant. Working nights in those days, a 2AM call came from the night nurse at his hospital. She just happend to know my uncle and sensed he was going downhill, wouldn't want to be on a ventilator, did i want DNR status?? She set the wheels in mootion and called me back at 4:30 AM to say he had died peacefully.

    My Mother-in law had Ovarian Cancer diagnosed in 1979-3 months to live but she was convinced she had a healing. In 1988 developed bone marrow depression form chemo 9 years earlier. CHF episodes started. Hospitalizations were more frequent. Transfusions started every 3 months then every month in 1989 to daily the last week of life. I finally realized a turnaround was not occuring and said to my husband, we were prolonging thing's with the transfusions without any real benifit any longer and needed to stop. Brought Mom home with 24hr nurses due to intractable pain and IV dilaudid on a friday--hospice to start Monday and she passed at home with the 1 yr old grandkid cuddling next to her and her favorite niece on Monday.

    When 93 yo Nana suddenly had signs of CVA, admission Cat was negative --she was unconscious. 4th CAT in a year was requested (all neg .previously). I stoped all treatment as she did not want tube feeding. She died in in-patient Hospice 10 days later.

    In all situations, I based my decisions on what they had told me they wanted out of life. Primary goal to give loved ones a chance at life and providing COMFORT CARE when currative treatment appearded futual.

    Think about code status. What is in your Mother's best interest
    and express your desires NOW while you have a chance. I'm sure you've been showering her with love over these past few weeks. Ask if hospice is indicated so that COMFORT can be provided---it's the greatest gift you can offer to your Mom.

    With love and heartfelt support,
    Karen
  11. by   Lausana
    Originally posted by warrior woman
    I'm losing her guys. I can feel it. I'm so scared. This is tearing me apart. I wouldn't know what to do without my Allnurses siblings. I love you all so much. Keep praying for us. Your will Lord not mine. Theresa.
    Bless you Theresa, you are a faithful daughter to say the least...will keep your family in prayers...I'm awaiting the news at any time of my grandma's passing from a never ending 5 yr battle with cancer, so the prayers seem to never end

    I feel at peace about Grandma's passing, because she is ready to go Home, as she said last weekend...But this is a tough time for my mom since they are very close too, never seen her quite like this before...keeping it together & taking care of everyone else just like Grandma would...I know she shares your pain, feeling lost already even thought they are still here. I can't even begin to imagine what you guys are feeling. I'll keep praying...but only God knows the answer, doesn't he. (((Theresa)))

    Love, Leslie

    ps...How's your dad handling things & what was happening today?
  12. by   Hidi74
    My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.
  13. by   RNinICU
    Theresa, I have been thinking about you and your Mom every day. We do care very much about you. Call or PM me any time you need a shoulder.
  14. by   finallyRN
    Theresa-
    My prayers have been with you and your family all week. It is obvious you have a lot of support here with your allnurses siblings. God will take care of you in your time of need.
    Meghan

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