Having children in your 30's

  1. Hi everyone! I have a question for parents regarding your age when you had children. How old were you and what are the pros/cons of having them in your 30's. I had my daughter when I was 18 and my son when I was 24. My husband and I are thinking about having one more child when I graduate from nursing school and have worked a couple of years. This would put me close to 35. I was always one of these people who wanted to have my children young so I would still be "young" when they were grown, but my thoughts on this have been changing in the past few years. Thanks for your replies.
  2. 37 Comments

  3. by   purplemania
    I know several people, including my daughter, who bore children after age 30, or later. Depends on the couple involved. Actually, the fact that you are doubting it now indicates it may not be a good decision for you. Every child deserves to be born to parents who truly want the child. The answer will probably become apparent when you finish school.
  4. by   Noney
    I'd like to hear more on this. I'm expecting myself and I'll 35 when I deliver. My boys are 8 and 13! Actually so far I've felt better this time around.

  5. by   tnrn2be
    Quote from purplemania
    I know several people, including my daughter, who bore children after age 30, or later. Depends on the couple involved. Actually, the fact that you are doubting it now indicates it may not be a good decision for you. Every child deserves to be born to parents who truly want the child. The answer will probably become apparent when you finish school.

    I hope my post didn't sound like I don't want a child but I'm going to have one anyway. That is not what I intended. I have two children and love them more than life itsself. The age thing is the ONLY doubt I have about having another child. My biggest concern is how it will affect the child if he/she is born to parents in their mid-30's. Maybe the reason it bothers me so much is because I was so much younger when I had my other two children. There may be no difference in having children in your 20's or 30's as far as the child is concerned. I was just wondering if age is a factor.
  6. by   Energizer Bunny
    My cousins all had their children in their 30's and seem to be grounded and doing well juggling. One is a SAHM and one is a partner in an accounting firm. I had my children at 26, 27 and 30. They were all close together so I don't think I'm much help!
  7. by   heart queen
    My three were all born before I was 25, married ad 19. Still with the same great guy who thought I was crazy wanting the last one, the last year of my pre recs' who was born the week before I started nursing courses

    We had all three before we were financially secure, like now... but managed jut fine. I didn't think I could handle a pregnancy later in life with working, then shipping a newborn off to daycare. My situation is different we planned on and did move out of state one year after my graduating. During nursing school, we had grandparents to watch my son.

    At 34, hmmm, well the girls would be older and able to help. But I can't say for certain that I have the same energy to care for a newborn let alone a toddler. Plus I would want to cut my hours to have more time at home and it's not an option now with finances planned for two full time people.

    Anyway, you can financially talk yourself out of kids in a heartbeat, we raised 3 on less than half of our net now, did JUST FINE. So I'm trying to say, long winded, that no matter WHAT your circumstances, if you feel the time is right for you both... than it's just plain right.

    There are big perks to having your kids young; energy, early retirement did I mention energy?. But knowing then what I know now, and having the financial stability NOW are important too.

    So you and the hub will "just know" if the time is right, talk about it and trust in your relationship and current position to support either decision. Are you ready to start over ?
  8. by   susanmary
    Darlin' -- if you want to have a baby in your 30's -- do it. Remember, as we age, so do our eggs. It may or may not be as easy to conceive as easily as when you had your first two. If you want to have another child -- then do it. You don't want to be 50+ and regret not having had another child. You have to decide what you want -- you need to decide.

  9. by   bionurse
    I say go for it!! I had my first child when I was 28; I am now 30. I also plan to have more children after nursing. I alreadyhave a son. I would ultimately like to have 2 girls and 2 boys. This means that I too will be well into my 30's having children. My son will be 2 years old in 2 months. I would love to start trying to have another child right now. But I know that would be difficult to do being as though I will starting nursing in the fall.

    Definately have your other child. But I would advise you to wait until you are done with nursing.
  10. by   traumaRUs
    I had my sons at age 22 and 27 and now that I'm 45 - glad that I did. I will give you an opinion though as a child of older parents. My mother was 40 and my father 35 when I was born. It wasn't fun having older parents - always being asked if they were your grandparents and their focus (though they tried) was always in a different place than mine. I love my sons so very much but I'm glad I had them when I was young enough to play with them, be in scouts and school activities. I look now that I am more career-focused now. So...this was just my opinion and I do know many parents who are in their 30's and 40's and great parents. Good luck with whatever your decide.
  11. by   nurseunderwater
    i had my 3 sons at 31, 34 and 36....so here i am at 37 and have 3 boys 6 and under....
    i feel like i have a lot to offer my kids as an "older" mom. I am able to communicate with them in a clearer fashion, I have much more life experience than I did in my early 20's and they'll be on their way somewhere around the time I am 55. 55 is a lot younger than it used to be. One of the things i think about is taking care of my body. I want to be able to run, hike, mountain climb, whatever, with them in my 40's. I think they will keep me young. I also think I will still have enough time with them at the other end to find out who they have become, to share their kids with them and support them through the tough times of young adulthood.

    You have a leg up....your already an experienced mama, your other children are old enough to help and you've got more years of living in the real world with your kids. If you want this baby...I say go for it! good luck and keep us posted..
  12. by   mother/babyRN
    Let's see...My parents had me when they were 21 and 25..I had my first son at age 25, my last three at ages 40, 41 and just turned 43...It is still cool......
  13. by   mother/babyRN
    You know more as a person and a parent...Sometimes have to work on the patience part if it has been awhile, but you are more grounded and schooled in both discipline and what to expect when they get older...Good luck..It is worth it....At least it was and has been for us..Mine are now almost 22, 6, 5 and almost 4.....My oldest adores the little ones and vice versa, and because he is older, he is much more in tune with kids and now KNOWS why it pays to be careful when involved in a relationship and to be safe.....The oldest one is exhausted after a day with the youngest three.....Yet, he some day STILL wants to be a daddy..AND sees from a much closer vantage point, what that actually means....
  14. by   Shotzie
    Go for it!
    Women everywhere have children in their 30's. You will do fine and like another poster remarked, you already have the experience!