Having a really bad day.

  1. My day didn't start out bad, in fact I thought it would be a good day. I went out to shop for a new car, and fell in love with a silver Buick Century. I decided on the car, and when they ran my credit, they told me I have a cell phone and credit card both delinquent, and in collection. I couldn't understand how this could have happened. I carry only one credit card, and pay it off every month, and my cell phone is not delinquent either. After some calls to the credit bureau and the companies in question, I finally discover that the address on these accounts is my DIL's address, the one who took off and left her kids behind. Seems she got my SS number and got a few accounts in my name. I was so hurt and angry, I couldn't see straight. I was ready to chew nails and spit bullets. I called my bank about financing the car, and explained the situation. I can still get my car, but now I have to file charges against my DIL, and go through the nightmare of gettting my credit straightened out. I don't need this now.

    Then I had a terrible argument with my husband, one of the worst we have ever had. It started out over something small and escalated into a major blowout, with both of us bringing up hurts and resentments that have been simmering for a while. He has been very frustrated over his inability to find a job, and I have been frustrated over having total financial responsibility for the past three years. I don't think either one of us meant to say the mean, hurtful things we said, but a lot of things were said that cannot be taken back.

    The grandchildren have been especially mischievious today, and one of the boys told me he hates me and wants his Mommy back. Normally I would understand that a five year old says what he feels at the moment, but today, I just burst into tears over the remark.

    Add this to the stress I have been under at work lately, with short staffing and high acuity patients, and I feel like just running away. I have always been a strong person, able to cope with whatever problems I am having. My friends and family turn to me for comfort and support, and I can always handle anything. But today, I have spent the bulk of the afternoon in my bedroom crying. I am upsetting the kids, but I can't seem to stop. Hubby slammed out of the house, and I don't know when he will be back, or what mood he will be in, and I don't care either. I want to run away, I want to hide, I just don't want to deal with any of this any more.
    Last edit by RNinICU on Aug 19, '02
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  2. 33 Comments

  3. by   LasVegasRN
    Oh boy. I know this may sound like a pat reply, but I really do wish there was something I could say to help. God knows you have been through some shyt this year - you should get a gold medal for all that you have done to support your family despite everything that has happened!!
    I hope in some way that knowing you have people here who care, and really do love and appreciate your presence, will help - even if in some tiny way.
    My hope is that your husband will come home realizing you two have been under an extraordinary amount of stress. That grandchild who "hates" you in one moment will be crying for you in the next.
    Feel free to cry - we'll be here when you need us. :angel2:
  4. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Aw honey, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You've been so warm to others, and you've made room in your house and your heart for your family when they needed you. A little good karma should be coming your way, not this.

    Please know that we all love you here, and you are important to us. Please feel free to PM me anytime.

    And this DIL? I said it before and I'll say it again... waste of flesh...

    Heather
  5. by   live4today
    (((((((((((((RNinICU))))))))))))))) :kiss

    My heart goes out to you today, and I will certainly keep you and your family in prayer. You have so much stress on your plate, and you know my favorite motto recently for my life is: I'm two blessed to be stressed! And....so are you. Crying is good for you to do during times like this. Let it all out......don't stop until you can't cry anymore. It's your perogative to do so! Don't feel shame or guilt over anything....not after all you have done for your husband, children, grandchildren, and coworkers, other family and friends. Don't you dare feel any guilt!

    When you are through crying, tell your family that you do not wish to discuss ANYTHING until you've finished watching the funniest movie you can find. Lock yourself in your bedroom, and watch the movie as you laugh your azz off....and don't hold back, either.

    When you are done laughing as hard as you can....go use the potty so you don't wet on yourself from the hard laughter and all....then go outside in your backyard, and SCREAM at the top of your lungs until "no air" comes out of your lungs...meaning you have reached the end of the scream. :chuckle

    Then, quietly return to the task of daily living without saying ONE single word! If THIS doesn't get your families attention in a good way, THEY AREN'T ALIVE! My oldest sister did this one time with her family, and for the remainder of the day, they were as sweet as could be to her. We love you here at allnurses......so vent whenever you feel like it, gosh darn it! :kiss
  6. by   Love-A-Nurse
    you are strong. when those that steps out to help others, comfort others, up-lift others, and keep self "intact", the "evil" of the world and in people come to get you off "track".

    it's alright to cry. the love you and your husband have for each other will keep you both strong until his "trails" are less. i will pray for your daughter-in-law for she needs to love herself before she can give of herself. i will keep you and yours in my prayers and know that god loves you and so do i.

    keep the faith.

    here is a song for you:

    when the storm of life are raging, stand by me.
    when the srorm of life are raging, stand by me.
    when this world is tossing me, like a ship up-on the sea,
    thou who rulest wind and water, stand by me.

    in the midst of trib-u-lation, stand by me.
    in the midst of trib-u-lation, stand by me.
    when the host of hell as-sail,
    and my strength be-gins to fail,
    thou who nev-er lost a battle, stand by me.

    in the midst of per-se-cu-tion, stand by me.
    in the midst of per-se-cu-tion, stand by me.
    when i've done the best i can,
    and my friends mis-un-der-stand,
    thou who know-est all a-bout me, stand by me.
  7. by   SherRN
    RNinICU
    Being new to this board I hope you will not think I am too forward. However having read a lot of your posts I know that you are a caring sharing nurse that deserves a MEDAL AND THE IRON CROSS. I want to add my thoughts and volunteer my ears and shoulders if I may for any venting you might need. Remember this is a great family. I love it when Cheerfuldoer says "OK Siblings what are we talking about." This is a new "Sib" checking in on your side!!! Sherry:kiss <<<<<<<<<<<<<RNinICU>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
  8. by   NurseDennie
    (((((((((RNinICU)))))))))))))

    I hate that this is all happening to you. You keep hearing about people having their ssn stolen and people getting stuff in their name. Sheeesh - wouldn't you know the first real person I've ever heard of having this happen would have to be you!

    I understand the stress that you're under - Well, not all of it at all, but certainly I think that there is a special and particularly heinous type of stress that comes from the wife being the sole and/or main breadwinner. It's very difficult for the wife, and it's difficult for the hubby in a different way that makes it harder for him to support the breadwinner like a wifey would be able to do.

    Sucks. And that added to the rest of it. You know you're the best of all possible RNinICU's and that your hubby, son, grandchildren, your job and the rest of us out here are lucky to have you.

    My advice? It's what I always try to remember and what I advise whenever I (or someone else) is in way over her head: breathe in and out. Just keep breathing in and out. Everything flows from there. Prayers and strengthening "vibes" going you way, that's for sure.

    Love

    Dennie
  9. by   kaycee
    Don't know what else to do but give you a hug and hope things are better soon.

    {{{{{{RNinICU}}}}}}:kiss
  10. by   Nurse Ratched
    Positive thoughts coming your way. I don't know what strength you may get from knowing others are out there and thinking about you and hoping for the best, but we are.

    (((((((hugs)))))))
  11. by   Lausana
    ((((RNinICU)))) the tightest hug I can squeeze.

    I'm praying for you now. And your for your hubby...you should not have to be carrying a burden alone today. Take a deep breath, and know we're thinking & praying for you today :kiss

    Hang in there, will be checking back...
  12. by   cbs3143
    RNinICU,

    So sorry to hear that your DIL's betrayl has deepened, and now affects you financially as well as emotionally. I can't say that I know how you feel or what you're going through, but we all care about you and wish you only the best at this time.

    ((((((((((RNinICU))))))))))

    Love


    Chuck
  13. by   Sleepyeyes
    ((((RNinICU))))) thoughts and prayers for you and your family today :kiss
  14. by   duckie
    I likewise send good thoughts and lots of prayers your way.
    (((((HUGS)))))

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