Has any one looked into the eyes of a friend and been truly afraid?

  1. Because I just have, I really did fear for my life, and now she says she was joking, but I looked into her eyes, and I didn't see the person I thought I knew.

    I live in a house with four other student nurses, and as we approach the beging of our second year everything is getting a bit frought... but a pillow fight turned into something a lot more sinister I have red hand shapped marks around my throat although they are begining to fade, If I hadn't been taught violence and aggression management techniques, I honestly feel that she would have hurt me. Her responce when questioned scares me more: " I would have let you go when you passed out"

    Is this the attitude you would expect from a student nurse?

    I honestly have no clue what to do, last semester she was in to self harm big style, but the tutors asked her about it and she fobbed them off, and she was okay, back to the person we first met.

    I am sorry if this in appropriate to post here, but I am shaken and need to vent.
    This isn't some silly squable over the washing up, she trully frightened me and I have no idea who she is, and how to get through this.
  2. Visit Whisper profile page

    About Whisper, BSN

    Joined: Nov '01; Posts: 1,177; Likes: 24
    Staff nurse; from UK
    Specialty: Cardiolgy


    Wow Whisper! That sounds horrible. It is indeed scary to look at someone you thought you knew, only to suddenly feel like they are a terrible monster. I'm glad you came here to vent, where you know you are loved and supported.

    My best advice would be to wait until things calm a little, and then ask to speak with this person (I will not say friend) with a neutral party present. If these feelings cannot be worked out, someone should go. You just can't live with someone you are constantly in fear of. Or anyone who would say something as stupid as that for that matter.

    "I would have let you go when you passed out"

    Take care of yourself, and please keep us posted!

  4. by   Whisper
    Thank you for responding. I felt a bit silly looking back on what I have written...
    I think I am going to lurk around here for the time being...

    Thanks again.
  5. by   LasVegasRN
    My GOSH!! I've had a similar incident, too painful to talk about still, but all I can advise is to sever the ties with that person. STAT.
  6. by   Sleepyeyes
    Whisper, you shouldn't feel "silly." It's entirely appropriate to see this person in a whole new light after what she did to you. Though couched in "fun 'n' games" the fact remains that you were attacked, as the prints on your skin so vividly attest.

    I think you'd be silly at this point NOT to be afraid of this abusive girl. And Heather, I second your message.

    Take care, Whisper; we're here for ya, honey. :kiss
  7. by   Mattigan
    Be careful and don't let it go. Do you live in an apartment or in university housing? Please don't live with this person. I had a similiar situation when I was in school. I made the wrong decision and did nothing and it only got worse.
  8. by   Whisper
    I live in a university house, so we share a kitchen and bathroom, but we have locks on our doors and our own phone lines.

    I am beging to think that I over reacted, 'she' was just outside of my door asking if I have finished sulking yet, and whether I would stop being a baby and learn to take a joke....
    But I can't deal with it as a joke, now the baby insults I can take after all I am only 19, but she really did freak me and it wasn't a joke.

    Other friends who were here left asap and only me and a friend who lived here are trying to sort through this aftermath. Last year we tried repoting here to occupational health, because everyone was worried about her hurting herself, she carved a pentagon into her arm at one point and then said she had fallen into a wall.... but no one listened to us.

    and I am babling again... I have decided that I am going to go home on Friday or maybe tomorrow night, but I don't want to leave this to fester as we start placement on Monday and I am doing doubles so i won't see her and I don't want the situation to get worse... it isn't just me that feels like this usually on a night we sit downstairs either talking or playing board games but tonight every one is sat in their own rooms with the doors locked
  9. by   deespoohbear
    Someone who leaves red marks around your throat is not joking. This young woman has shown that she has the potential to get mean, nasty, and dangerous. I would get out of that house, NOW!!! This girl is not playing with a full deck of cards. Do you have an advisor that you can talk to? I would not spend one more night in that house until she is gone. Does she act this way around the others in the house? Sounds like she needs an anger management class. Keep us posted. :kiss
  10. by   Stargazer
    " I would have let you go when you passed out"
    This, quite frankly, made my blood ran cold. As long as she is under the impression that this is safe or acceptable behavior, you are not safe living in the same house with her. She needs to move out or you do. And yes, she needs help.
    I am beging to think that I over reacted, 'she' was just outside of my door asking if I have finished sulking yet, and whether I would stop being a baby and learn to take a joke....
    Again, the fact that she seems to have no idea that what she did was scary, dangerous, and violent, and is now trying to either minimize her behavior and/or make it your fault is frightening as hell. This is classic abuser behavior. People who act and think like this tend to escalate.

    How about your other roomies? It sounds like they're affected by her behavior as well. Have you talked to them about this last incident? It sounds like they witnessed the event you're describing. Do they feel safe?

    If you're living in college housing, you need to talk to your RA or proctor or manager or whoever is responsible for the residents. If you get poo-poo'd, keep going up the ladder. You need to report her behavior AGAIN to student health authorities as well.

    Whisper, you are NOT overreacting. You are in an unsafe situation and you need to get someone to pay attention. Please be careful and let us know what happens.
    Originally posted by Whisper
    I am beging to think that I over reacted

    Please, please, please get help with this matter!

    And maybe this is the paranoid part of me talking, but you should be having someone take a picture of any marks you have on your body.

  13. by   Whisper
    We are a self elected house, we chose to live together for a year, and signed a contract.

    The marks are nearly gone, all i have is one nail scratch, on my arm, which could have been caused by anything...

    She is our house representative so she is suposed to report any problems, but I have emailed our house warden and hope they will get in touch soon, the others in the house, are looking at it as a game gone wrong, I seem to be the only one who is worried.. but then she didn't have any of them by the throat.

    I don't know... maybe I am over reacting no one else seems to be taking this like me,,, I just don't know I could be seeing this as worse than it is because I have had a crap week!
  14. by   teeituptom
    Howdy yall
    from deep in the heat of texas

    Off hand she sounds seriously disturbed, I say get a few friends together and take her out and encourage her that her best choice is somewhere completely different than where you are.

    meanwhile dont turn your back to her...

    Teddy roosevelt said it best, speak softly and carry a 4 iron