grocery delivery guy (YUM)

  1. ok with all this serious talk about terrorism and threats and war and everything I would just like to share my sheer and absolute joy with all of you!
    my mom suggested that we try getting our groceries delivered from an online site that one of her friends suggested, the lazybutt that I am thought "okay lets do it , shopping , while in my pj's , and having chocolate, my fave body wash AND the latest cosmo delivered to my doorstep ,well I'm all about the convience , so yay!" so we did an order, and thought it was mildly cool n what have you , then this morning the phone rang !
    brrrrrrrrring brrrrrrrrrrrrrring it was the HOTTIE phone and it was for ME!

    it was Chris (I feel like we are on a first name basis here- I mean afterall this guy knows my fave yogurt, what body wash I use and that I read cosmo - were practically married!) he had a nice voice, just called to tell me that he was on his way with the groceries (I'm pretending he doesnt do this with everyone including my 90 something year old next door neighbour - thats right girls I'm SPECIAL! neener neener neener)
    so okay I realize that its 11:30 am and I'm not awake!!!!!! what to do? well I let my mom get the door and I watched him from the window (no I'm not psychotic, I just dont think I look all that sexy with bed head and a hockey jersey okay?? - okay the image of that sounds way sexier than the reality - sadly)
    so did I mention that he was scantily clad in his khaki pants and green shirt...... mmmmm hubboy something to be said for the whole uniform thing!
    he does the "delivery" talking to my mom the whole time (his future mother in law haha) and then he leaves (cry sniffle wahhhh) as he walks away ,I'm wishing the company didnt have such a strict no tipping policy cuz i would SO put a ten dollar bill down those khaki's!
    that pretty much made my sunday morning (I must go to church and confess all that un christian thoughts I had about this guy!)
    I mean what could be better???
    he's employed, looks good in an admittedly BAD uniform and brings me all my necessities of life (and yes , brownie cookie bits ARE VERY NECESSARY!)
    If I was able to swoon, I surely would
    as far as cheap thrills go, this was a pretty good one

  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   anitame
    Wendy, you absolutely crack me up. You go girl! Seems like you'll be spending even more time on the puter now, ordering groceries daily!!
  4. by   sunnygirl272
    yuppers..i can see it now..she'll be stretching her orders out...placing daily orders...mnday will be hair care products..body wash...wednesday convenience foods..thursday beer...friday snack foods and (ahem) prophylactics....
  5. by   hapeewendy
    Ribbed - for my pleasure

    god I could torment this guy with my orders...
    that might be fun...

    strawberries - check
    chocolate sauce - check
    bananas - check
    herbal essences shampoo and body wash - check
    pack of trojans - check
    glittery thong - errrr wait thats not available , damn foiled again
  6. by   ucandoit
    Just don't order any monistat, vagisil, or hemmroid(sp) stuff! Oh, and you aren't slick you just want to stuff a fat tip in his pocket so you can feel around! I know I would, except I would put my number in there with it! Advice from a retired player at no charge cause I like you!
  7. by   hapeewendy
    orgasm inducing body wash and shampoo - $5.99

    fresh strawberries - $2.50

    latest issue of cosmo - $3.99

    having a hottie bring all of the above to your doorstep and force you into thoughts about doing the deed in a delivery truck - PRICELESS
  8. by   Lausana
    Whoa...Just wait til he delivers the Kama Sutra edition I'm just saying that may be the month to offer him a cold beverage...

    I'm very jealous and angry that this is not available. I'll just settle for the little old men baggers.
  9. by   hapeewendy
    leslie , I like the way you think girl!
    haha oh thank you mr grocery guy , woops I dropped my cosmo on the floor ,and ohhhhh lookie here , it fell open right on the kama sutra article ,wow imagine that , ha ha funny isnt it?
    by the way would you like a cold beverage? oh you cant stay for too long,thats okay ,forget the beverage then , just sit right down , yes over there , on the couch... I'm going to get my uhhhhhhhh purse yeah thats it my purse to pay you for your ummmmm services......
  10. by   Heather333
    You're a bad bad girl Wendy
  11. by   anitame
    Yeah, I think she needs a spanking. By the delivery guy of course.
  12. by   Heather333
    Originally posted by anitame
    Yeah, I think she needs a spanking. By the delivery guy of course.
    Yep, she needs a spankin' alright. Maybe she'll send us some peek-tures

  13. by   adrienurse
    do you think he delivers to Winnipeg???[she asked innocently]
  14. by   Hidi74
    MMMM I am about out of ........somthing! My luck my delivery boy would be 50, short and hairy! lol