Gossip

  1. i'd really like to find out how others deal with an issue that is an ongoing thorn in my side.

    as we all know, gossiping and backbiting seem to be just an occupational hazzard. i have learned, over the years, how to deal with those who complain and b*tch about everything and anything, but how do you deal with those who love to tear others apart?

    i've tried just listening and occasionally nodding but this makes me feel like i am agreeing with what is being said, by my omission.

    then i've tried saying something good about whoever is being raked over the coals, but then come across as a goody-two-shoes, and to be honest, sometimes they are right on, as much as i don't want to agree with what's being said.

    my method of choice is to just withdraw into myself and let the other person just keep talking till they realize they are talking to themselves. can't have a conversation when only one person is talking. problem is that this just seems soo rude of me to just go silent. i realize gossiping is rude, but two wrongs don't make a right.

    i simply am not interested in getting drawn into this nasty habit so many people have of gossiping about others. but have yet to manage to find a good way of doing this.

    so.......... how do you all deal with this?
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  2. 29 Comments

  3. by   Roy Fokker
    I usually change the subject.

    If the other person is persistant, I usually end up giving an excuse that "Look, I'm feeling kinda off/tired/unwell. Can we please talk about something else?"
  4. by   leslie :-D
    i would have no problem telling them i didn't want to hear it.
    but what would be easy for me may be more difficult for others.
    it's never been a problem for me to speak my mind.
  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I tell them talking about my coworkers behind their backs makes me uncomfortable and I change the subject. Rarely does gossip make it to my ears nowadays. I am out of the loop. And that suits me fine.
  6. by   NursesRmofun
    It's a tough one IMO. But I do usually just respond with the truth and positive things about the person, in other words saying that everyone has good and bad qualities....or give some reason why the situation may be the way it is. I am good at seeing both sides of most situations.
  7. by   lil' girl
    I always say that I don't find that to be true that I really like so and so and that usually shuts them up.
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from lil' girl
    I always say that I don't find that to be true that I really like so and so and that usually shuts them up.
    I've done that too. I also truly believe that no one is perfect and say that.

    steph
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    There was a doctor once who did this a lot w/us nurses. I said to him, "Dr ###, why what do you say about US behind OUR backs, when we are not here???"

    It stunned him to silence. Last time I heard him do that openly----around ME at least. lol
  10. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    There was a doctor once who did this a lot w/us nurses. I said to him, "Dr ###, why what do you say about US behind OUR backs, when we are not here???"

    It stunned him to silence. Last time I heard him do that openly----around ME at least. lol
    i swear i know his brother. :chuckle
    or it even might be the same doctor - he's in his 50's and used to sit at the nurse's station and say all these things about different nurses and even my bosses.
    i finally told dr. k. that i was appalled at his lack of professionalism.
    he avoided me like the plague from that day on.
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Ah yes, Leslie, you may indeed know his brother.*grin* This was NOT a nice man, that much is for sure. And my coworkers said they wondered where I got the **you-know-whats** to say what I did. I never thought about it; I was just sick and tired of him sitting and dissing my coworkers to us and the rest of them laughing along with him. Just seemed so wrong to me....so I spoke up. Rofl.....i tell ya, I do have a big mouth. Woops you already know that, don't you?
  12. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    i tell ya, I do have a big mouth. Woops you already know that, don't you?
    kindred spirits, i say.

    what others perceive as having the balls of an elephant just comes and feels natural to us. :chuckle

    am i allowed to say ballls?
  13. by   weetziebat
    Quote from earle58
    am i allowed to say ballls?
    apparently, yes, you are :d


    thanks, guys, for the answers so far. gives me some new things to try. i wouldn't have a problem telling a doc off, but guess i don't want to be ignored by the entire staff, and seems like gossip is the topic of conversation. but guess its better to be out-of-the-loop than involved in that mess.
  14. by   Thunderwolf
    I just give benign neglect to the talker. If the person asks for a response, I just say I wasn't listening. Works for me.

    Gossip is the quickest way to form a cliche and the easiest way to destroy a team.

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