Good Monday Morning May 31, 2004 - page 4

Good morning everyone. Looks like I am the first one here today. How is everyone today? Any plans for the holiday? We had planned a cook out but it looks like we have rain on the way... Read More

  1. by   ARmickie
    Evenin' all! Any and all are welcome to uor little cookout! Well, it's over now, but we still have some steak, burgers, corn on the cob, baked potatoes and salad left! Oh yeah.. and some ice cream in the freezer!

    As far as my skin type goes, I'm pretty fair skinned (blonde hair/blue eyes), but I always tanned really easy. I men, I could still see tan lines from last year before last weekend. I swear, this sun is something else, though.... it definitely wrecked havoc on my skin, for sure. Even the fresh skin, or the second layer, anyway, is dry and cracked. I'll be tempted to wear jeans outside the rest of the summer. This is not the year I'll be hanging out at the pool, for sure!

    And, yes, I do start school this week... tomorrow actually. Well, I register tomorrow and then start on Wednesday. I'll go straight thru for a year, and then I'll likely take next summer off, but we'll have to see about that - just depends on how burnt out I get, I suppose. Right now I'm planning on taking 12 hours this summer and then 16 in the fall.. I haven't worked on the spring semester of 2005 yet!

    Jas took Dylan up to the store. They were supposed to just be going to fill the truck up w/gas because Jas has to leave for work at 4:30 AM and there won't be anything open around here... That was about an hour ago... I'm just hanging out now and waiting for Regan to get home!! I've missed my baby girl!

    Mickie
  2. by   LPN4Life
    Quote from ARmickie
    As far as my skin type goes, I'm pretty fair skinned (blonde hair/blue eyes), but I always tanned really easy. I men, I could still see tan lines from last year before last weekend. I swear, this sun is something else, though.... it definitely wrecked havoc on my skin, for sure. Even the fresh skin, or the second layer, anyway, is dry and cracked. I'll be tempted to wear jeans outside the rest of the summer. This is not the year I'll be hanging out at the pool, for sure!

    Mickie
    I am fair-skinned and tan easily to, but 2 wknds ago, I had agarage sale and was outside all day long, my arms were burnt so bad they swelled up and ached something awful. It's only gotten into the lower 80's here in MO, but it sure took me by surprise to burn that easily, may be a word of caution to others out there, it is prolly gonna be a scorcher............:angryfire
  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Eaaak, wow check back in here and read some of the darn kindest things ever....Tweety, earle and jnette, thank you. You are more than kind. Talk about "Hallmark moments" rofl.........i am a bit teary now.

    Yes ----I am sad and angry w/my parents for many things. When I was growing up, they abused me physically and emotionally so badly my SISTERS were traumatized. I was also--- but not as bad as they. One has to be on meds for chronic severe anxiety, all traced to what she witnessed my parents do to me as a small child.

    Funny, I never knew how witnessing severe abuse can traumatize sibs to whom not as much similar abuse was given. I used to hate them for not having to take what I endured. Kind of like the child from " A child Called It" ,that famous book about child abuse. MINE was NO where NEAR as severe, but suffice to say it was awful...... feel sorry for myself? OH YEA i have had HUGE pity parties thru the years, been a horrible pain in the *** to many around me in times past, a real turd------ but at my age, I have pretty moved past those times and to a place where I seek spiritual and higher learning that so transcends my previous world of self-pity.

    I cannot change who my parents were and are, jnette you are SO RIGHT. But forgive them? THAT is a tall order. They have not been there for me in any of my major moments----my marriage, the births of my children, graduations in military schools, etc. EXCEPT my nursing school graduation. Believe it or not, when they drove the 900 miles to see me pinned, I saw that as progress and had hopes, high ones. But they dashed 'em pretty quickly in other ways,when they went back to their thoughtless ways. My mother, especially is one cold fish. She has pretty much told me I am stupid and crazy to homeschool my kids. She has NO clue who the HELL I am and I refuse to try to mold to their small- minded ways any longer.

    the thing is, I can handle them not being kind to ME, well enough. BUT MY KIDS, hey ANOTHER STORY ALTOGETHER. My babies are everything to me and I will NOT allow anyone in my family to hurt them when I can help it.

    Who will really miss out? I think my parents will be the big losers here, when they confront old age one day (they are still in their late 50s) and look around and say "is that all there is ??? I am SO lonely". When they cry cause no one is there to comfort them when they feel like this. They, in their emotional neglect, have managed to alienate my kids, spouse and myself pretty effectively. They are also managing to screw up what relationships they can have with my sisters and all their kids, too. So, I actually feel sorry for them; that day of realization and intense emptiness for them is coming as sure as the sun crosses the sky from morning to night.

    But I hope no one thinks I want to incite pity or sorrow for me. NOPE, I just call 'em like I see 'em and sometimes I make enemies or misunderstandings along the way. Others times, I make great friends, like some of you folks here. Thanks for caring and being the great people you are. You all give me hope that the world IS meant to go on; that good people exist ALL over, despite what the media may have us believe.

    Bless you all, and have a wonderful evening. Hug your loved ones tonight; I plan to, and tightly. I am sorry this got so long.....it feels good to get it out.
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    would you believe, I am a redhead who tans?

    but I stopped doing that years ago, out of fear of skin cancer and premature aging that makes skin look SO leathery. Lived in AZ tooo long I guess.
  5. by   Tweety
    See, now y'all know why Deb's my hero.

    Deb, I think you're right about that your parents are going to be the big losers one day. My mother was an abused child, she has horror stories to tell. She in turn wasn't the greatest mom when she had children at age 19, and in fact was borderline abusive herself. After having a major nervous breakdown and suicide attempt (and having a hysterectomy, which believe it or not helped her emotionally tremendously) and getting some help she mercifully came around and embraced her family the best she could. Ya can't choose your parents can you?

    Believe it or not something Marie Osmond said on her Behind The Music special on VH1 said has stuck with me for quite a while. She said something to the effect that when your old and grey and frail it's not fame nor foturne that's important, it's family and the love you've given. To me there is nothing more important than family. (No one has the right to decide what consitutes a family, but don't get me started on that. LOL).

    Thanks for sharing Deb. Hugs.
  6. by   Tweety
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    would you believe, I am a redhead who tans?

    but I stopped doing that years ago, out of fear of skin cancer and premature aging that makes skin look SO leathery. Lived in AZ tooo long I guess.

    My great-grandmother was Cherokee, so I'm not fair-skinned and tan easily. But you're right. Best to stay out of the sun.
  7. by   laughingfairy
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    would you believe, I am a redhead who tans?

    but I stopped doing that years ago, out of fear of skin cancer and premature aging that makes skin look SO leathery. Lived in AZ tooo long I guess.

    Yup, so is my MIL green eyes, red (almost bozo) hair and olive skin...tans better than me with dark hair and dark eyes and fair skin...Never ever seen her with a burn and she spends lots of time in the sun and has only recently started wearing sunscreen. The sunscreen as an example for my kids...the two oldest are relativly fair...but the baby is just as "nut-brown" as her grammy.
  8. by   jnette
    hmmmmmmmmm....... amazing. Seems like may of us here were abused, or "borderline abused" as children. How sad is that.

    My dad was the greatest. But like you, Tweety, being in the military and on TDY so much, I was left at the mercy of my mom, who was the physical and emotional abuser. But only to me. My sis was her golden child. I was never in the plan.. a mistake.. disgusting to her...her "cross to bear" as she would never fail to throw up in my face.
    It was a lonely, painful time, those years.

    We were kids.. Pati didn't know any better than to milk the preferencial attention for all its worth.. she cries now when we reminesce. But those days are long behind us, and my mom doesn't even remember.. nor would I ever bring it up.

    Y'know, she WAS the loser.. yet in their selfcentered ignorance, ppl like that don't even recognize it. She has no idea of what she missed out on.

    As far as "when the day comes, when she's alone (as she is now) and all the earthly, material things mean little ... " well, I still don't have the heart to be unkind. I'm there for her. She doesn't remember, nor do I feel it would be fair to have her recall those abuses and emotional torment at her age, or to neglect her.

    I survived as a child by forgiving, and I continue to enjoy life by forgiving. It's the only thing that has ever worked for me. Saved a fortune by not having to take antidepressants/antianxiety meds that way !
    No counseling... I somehow just understood that she must have had her own issues, even felt sorry for her (yes, even as a kid!).. but most of all, forgave her so I could still LOVE.. even while I understood that love would not be returned by her.

    Yes, Deb... I know where you've been because I've been there, too. And you know what? We survived, we KNOW how to love, and we love freely, passionately, generously ! What greater gift is there than the ability to love ?

    And we are strong.. because we love.
  9. by   leslie :-D
    God, deb. that was powerful. i think many of us have such similiar childhoods. i do not love nor detest my parents but have distanced myself from them 100%. i will always have an impermeable steel wall that protects me. but every now and then (and admittedly more often than not) something just hits me like a ton of bricks; i truly feel others pain. sometimes it's a blessing, other times a curse. i am sure however, i will always be a loner. anyway and truly deb, thank you for sharing a very personal part of you. it's these type of moments that give one a totally different perspective.

    i am too a redhead (auburn) and tan easily...but my eyes are dark brown. i always thought that redheads w/the blue or green eyes were the ones that got sunburned.....

    i don't even know how to sign off gracefully for i am still rather choked up. i have to go to the bathroom, how's that?

    leslie
  10. by   leslie :-D
    jnette, stop doing that!!! every time i'm finished writing, there's your post reflecting what i already wrote. how do we do that????
  11. by   NursesRmofun
    Missed the whole day but on for good night.

    Are you talking about parent stories today? Oy vey! Well, my Mom was amazing and strong, and we had a weird family, but both my parents are gone now. I sure miss my Mom a lot. Life isn't easy.

    Nite! Hugs to all!
  12. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from jnette


    Y'know, she WAS the loser.. yet in their selfcentered ignorance, ppl like that don't even recognize it. She has no idea of what she missed out on.
    that is so true. i believe that people that were emotionally ignorant will not have any idea on what they lost out on. on the flip side, it is those of us who have suffered will self actualize before the end of our lives and attain a spiritual level that many people never reach. for that, i feel blessed. i wouldn't change my life in any way shape or form.
  13. by   dianah
    Wow, heavy stuff on the thread tonite! One NEVER KNOWS, does one, what people who may be close to you, might have in their past??!! We all just paste on that smile and trudge forward, doing the duties assigned/expected. My hat is off to you all, for what you endure and have endured, and how you have struggled to make a better life for yourselves now, and for your kids.
    I was never abused; grew up with divorce (I was 11) and in a caring home but with alcoholism affecting the home environment. I was VERY shy, and couldn't bear confrontation, so never offered any opinions on anything, for fear of arguments and opposition. (I am better now, have learned a little in the last 40+ yr, lol). I love my mom a lot, and give her a lot of credit for raising four children as a single parent (a step-dad briefly in the picture, with all the baggage that comes from HIS alcoholism) -- commuting long distance for a better-paying job than the local area offered, learning new skills in order to advance (she interviewed to be a loan officer and learned on the job, having never done it before). She is one smart cookie! I lived with aunt/uncle for a year when I was 15, returned home for my jr high school year, and then attended a boarding academy for my sr. year. Then off to college for ADN, and got married three weeks after graduating. So I really left the nest early, I guess.
    Gosh, I don't know why I'm spilling all this!! It's a response to others' posts, I guess. Anyway, KUDOS to you all, again, for your strength and determination and your successes amid the failures. I am deeply touched by each of you, and thank you for allowing me/us glimpses into your lives. You humble and inspire me!

    OK, I did the Renaissance Faire thing again today, cruised around for three hours in the heat, then took kids to the mall so oldest could buy some "manga" books. Needless to say, by the time he was done, I was totally fed up with noise, with strangers' bodies and weird clothes, with some rude behaviours, and just wanted to get home, to peace and quiet (no matter if the house was a mess!! ). I laid down for half an hour, just to re-charge. Now I'm doing laundry, paying mountains of bills, and intermittantly reading (to continue re-charging, doncha know!!). It's still HOT outside, and I really do appreciate our air conditioning!!

    ARmickie, is Regan home yet?? Dylan sounds so cute!
    jnette, always glad to hear about you and your antics!
    And as for the rest of youse guys -- well, I already posted what I thought, above!! Keep on posting! -- D


    Oh, and I'm half-Greek, so I CAN tan; also have red highlights in my hair, in the sun -- so I can also burn. I tend to stay out of the sun, or use a lot of sunscreen, for safety. Y'all best put on sunglasses if I wear shorts, as the glare from these WHITE legs will blind you!!
    Last edit by dianah on May 31, '04

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