Good Monday Morning 5/17/04

  1. Morning All (I think)! We had a family crisis last night and I was unable to get back online. I'm glad I have extra time this morning to explain it all to you. My husband, Bryan is 47. He has a son, Kevin, who is 28 (2 years younger than me). Kevin has been in lots of trouble with drugs and alchohol, etc. Bryan blames himself to a certain extent for all of Kevin's problems so last night was really tough around here. Kevin has seemingly shaped up so many times, but in between he steals, lies, etc. to everyone. (he told lies to my future in-laws about me when Bry and I were first dating and it caused problems for the longest time)

    Kevin met a girl in rehab years ago named Anna. She ended up pregnant and they had a baby girl named Morgan. Morgan came about 6 weeks early and early on had some problems, but is fine now (physically anyways). We thought he had shaped up. Kevin and Anna split up and Kevin was getting visitation. Well, he decided to drive his grandfather's (my FIL who passed) truck to pick up Morgan one night. The problem was, he had been drinking and went and hit someone's house, then drove down the street to a friends house and left Morgan out in the truck while he went inside. When the cops came, she was all alone in the truck and he was inside the house. He was charged with reckless endangerment of a child and a few other things. He did serve time for this, thank God.

    Morgan ended up in foster care not long after this incident. I was the only one in the family that worked out visitation to see her (Bry went with me once, but I know it was sooo hard on him). I wanted to try to at least get temporary custody, if not full, but my MIL and FIL were against it, so Bryan said no. :angryfire To this day, this fries my hiney, because she would have been so loved here. And now....OIY! but, I have to get back on track here.

    Anna got married, got pregnant and got Morgan back. We never got to see her because we didn't even know where she was and Bryan and his mom would make no effort to find out because of their own feelings (wrong, but it's still what they did). Anna's husband was a great guy, from my understanding and treated both children and Anna wonderfully. Well, she threw him away, of course. (both Anna and Kevin are the type that if everything is going well, they have to screw it up!) Anna ended up going to strip at the one and only strip joint in town and boy! is it a dive.

    We didn't hear anything for a long time. Kevin got another girl pregnant, Kim, who is very agressive (not assertive, agressive) but waaaaaaay better than Anna. She has her head on straight, owns her own house, works two jobs, etc.

    All of a sudden, Anna pops up and says she has breast cancer (she's living with some guy with kids of his own). She looks like crap and tells Kevin he is going to have to take Morgan for long periods of time. Of course, everyone is happy about this (even me) and I was thrilled to see her and spend time with her. Well, in the back of my mind, I knew something wasn't right and wouldn't allow myself to get too close to her again and it's a good thing. Poor Morgan doesn't know any kids songs, but she knows "Lola the dancer". She is four and eats with her hands, just shoveling food in. You get the idea. We are all furious of course and Kim tries to work with her, but she is really tough on her.

    Well, Kim is due in 7 weeks and last night she called to tell us that Kevin left her to go be with Anna again. They were going to wait until after the baby came to tell Kim but decided to do it now. Oh, isn't that sweet? So, now Kim is stuck with a mortgage all by herself and a car payment for a car she bought for him (that he left at a garage in Erie for her to go pick up) and a baby on the way. I am sooo furious! :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire They won't let me put enough of those faces up to express it to you all. Bryan has had it with him and so has my MIL. I wasn't going to go to the shower on Sunday but now I'll feel guilty if I do. Kim called to let us know that she would never keep us from seeing the baby, as we were kept from Morgan. BUT, I just don't feel good about this whole thing.

    So, that's why I wasn't back on last night.

    Richard...I thank you for the complements about mommies, but I think you are fabulous too!!!!! and more so because you are a full time carer.

    Jnette...now, I have everyone straight. It sounds like Roo is great for your sis!

    Leslie and Liza...prayers going up for you both. Dang Leslie, you gonna be able to get up and going in time for your interview?

    Question of the day....oh heck......what kind of music do you enjoy?
    I'm mostly a country girl and praise and worship music, but I like anything except that hard rock crud.

    Okay, enough said from me this morning...
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  2. 46 Comments

  3. by   scrubs70
    Good Morning Kim. Sorry to hear you had a rough night hon, The Joys of family's huh?
    As is usually the way, it is the kids that end up with the raw end of the deal. God bless you and your family, my prayers are always with you and Bryan and the kids.
    Good morning everybody else.
    Busy day here, but got everything done. Decided on Veal Parmigiana for supper, so I guess tomorrow night will be Honey Soy chicken stir fry.
    My music tastes seem very similar to Kim's, mainly country with contempory christian music (David Meece, Kenny Marks, Amy Grant) thrown in, and the odd bit of old rock (elvis, dr hook).
    Have a wonderful day everyone
    hugsssssssssssssssss
  4. by   laughingfairy
    I am so sorry...My thoughts are with you and those children. It's really hard when DH make decisions that one hand you feel you must respect and on the other you totally disagree with. Wish I could do something for you.
  5. by   Energizer Bunny
    THanks laughingfairy. The problem right now is that I know that Morgan is not going to be well taken care of. I really believe that Kevin and Anna will be drinking and drugging it up again soon and Morgan will be left to the wayside. Anna doesn't even have her other child. Her ex-husband does. I am concerned for Morgan, but we honestly cannot take on a lawsuit and another child now, so I am considering calling social services. I just don't know what to do??? I can do it anonymously, but will she be better off in foster care? who knows? and can I stand to see her go to foster care? the thing is, at least there I could see her, but how firmly entrenched in this mess do I want to get? And do I want to risk my marriage to fight it all? I don't know what Bry's stance on Morgan is now and I want to give it a couple days before I ask him. The problem is that apparently, Kevin and Anna are moving out of the area, so I need to move fairly quickly I think if I am going to.

    As for the new baby....*sigh* I just don't want to end up with my heart broken again and I can see where it would happen if Kim and I butted heads on things (which I am sure we will because she really is so darn agressive). It's not good for the children, either, to have people just coming in and out of their lives all the time.
  6. by   Energizer Bunny
    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrr..........I just re-read my last post and I am getting more and more angry and sad and just everything all at once!!!! I think I need to go pray
  7. by   Love-A-Nurse
    good morning!

    i read your post and my support is simply a (((((kim))))) for you this morning.


  8. by   nurseunderwater
    kim....gotta type and run. sending you {{{{{{{{{{{{{{kim}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    xxxxxxx

    Kate
  9. by   Energizer Bunny
    Kate, love-a-nurse and Richard, thank you. and Good morning. I went and said a prayer and feel a little more calm about the situation. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time on my knees in the next few days.
  10. by   ARmickie
    Good morning all. I have no idea of what all went on yesterday, as I didn't get online too much! I did alot of studying and then spent time with Jas and the kids. But, I'll hop over there and read yesterday's posts in a bit.

    Kim... I cannot imagine how angry you are. And, if I was there I'd probably grab Bryan by the shoulders and give him a good shake. I agree that you should pray about it.. ALOT. I also think that you should talk to Bryan soon b/c not only will Kevin and Anna be moving away, but the emotional aspect of this is still weighing on Bryan's mind, I'm sure. Do Kevin and Anna honestly think they are "good" parents? Or, do they view Morgan as an interference? I mean, there may not have to be a lawsuit at all. It sounds like neither of them want to or will take care of her. Bryan needs to stop and think about all of this very carefully. Number one, that is his grandchild and his feelings about Kevin or his life have nothing to do with Morgan. Number two, Morgan doesn't deserve to suffer b/c of the parents who brought her into the world. And, most of all, number three... If this child goes into a foster home and there is no contact, there will come a time when she starts asking about all of her family. How will Bryan explain to his own grandchild years down the road why he was not there, why he didn't step in and do something for this girl.. and all she's going to think is that he didn't love her enough to do it. Been in a similar situation to this myself, and it is NOT pretty. Okay.. enough.. I'm not blaming Bryan or anything, I'm just saying that maybe he should think about all that.

    Okay.. music.. I listen to everything! I'm as likely to buy a CD of Toby Keith as I am to buy one of Usher or Coldplay! It normally depends on what kind of mood I'm in as to what I'm listening to.
  11. by   Energizer Bunny
    Mickie...good morning and thank you...I agree with you on every point. They are some of the many things running through my head. I appreciate your post.
  12. by   ARmickie
    My oldest daughter's name is Morgan! She's going to be 14 in August.. man, how time flies!
  13. by   Energizer Bunny
    Alright, well I'm outta here to do whatever it is I am going to do today. I'm so out of sorts that I am not even sure what that is. Oh, I do have my physical at the school today at 3:30 and have to get groceries. Until then, who knows? maybe just sit and think.
  14. by   FranEMTnurse
    Good morningKimmy, scrubs, Kate, Jnette, Leslie, and all other nurses. As you can all see, although feeling better than yesterday, I'm still VERY tired. When that happens, I know something's brewing, so I just sleep it away. It's worked well for me so far. So hopefully, I'll get rid of whatever it is, (a cold? I shudder to think) and I'll see ya all later.

    Kim,

    :angryfire How awful! You, Brian, the mom who lost, and that poor little girl all need prayers. So even though it's too hard for me to kneel anymore, I will pray for you all. SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THAT AWFUL MESS. Just know sweetie, I support you in whatever choices you make, and I sure hope it will all work out for the better for all who are involved.
    Question of the day....oh heck......what kind of music do you enjoy?

    In answer to your question? Same as the two below.

    I'm mostly a country girl and praise and worship music, but I like anything except that hard rock crud.

    My music tastes seem very similar to Kim's, mainly country with contempory christian music (David Meece, Kenny Marks, Amy Grant) thrown in, and the odd bit of old rock (elvis, dr hook).

    So hopefully, I'll see ya all later. all. In fact, now I'm HOOKED!! LOL.

    FRAN
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on May 17, '04

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