George Carlin

  1. Subject: THE "BAD AMERICAN"!!!

    by George Carlin

    I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
    I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid
    level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
    I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
    I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
    I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and
    does not entitle you to anything.
    I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in
    I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
    I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
    than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill
    to put you through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be
    I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and
    where they want to.
    My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
    Jerry Springer.
    I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
    I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
    I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
    when I'm freezing during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?
    I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years
    In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any
    witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So,
    shut-the-Hell-up already.
    I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
    Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the
    problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
    I think the cops have every right to shoot you if you're running from
    I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking
    the law, regardless of what color you are.
    I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
    you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for
    the next four years.
    I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me
    crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These
    people should be targets.
    I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes
    two parents.
    And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?
    If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

    We need our country back!

    All I can say is I love George Carlin and Amen!
  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   Buddha
    Last edit by Buddha on Apr 7, '03
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    Let me be the first to say that I didn't check the accuracy of this before I posted it . .. .not my usual knee-jerk response. :imbar

    The author is not George Carlin. . . . .go to and type in George's name and you can read the entire essay and where is it was first printed.

    I still agree with it though.