Funny Signs/notices

  1. On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
    Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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    On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
    "We're #1 in the #2 business."
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    Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
    "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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    At a Proctologist's door
    "To expedite your visit please back in."
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    On a Plumber's truck:
    "We repair what your husband fixed."
    **************************

    On a Plumber's truck:
    "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
    **************************

    Pizza Shop Slogan:
    "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

    At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee!
    "Invite us to your next blowout."
    **************************

    On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door
    "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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    At a Towing company:
    "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
    **************************

    On an Electrician's truck:
    "Let us remove your shorts."
    **************************

    In a Nonsmoking Area:
    "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
    **************************

    On a Maternity Room door:
    "Push. Push. Push"
    **************************

    At an Optometrist's Office
    "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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    On a Taxidermist's window:
    "We really know our stuff."
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    In a Podiatrist's office:
    "Time wounds all heels."
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    On a Fence:
    "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
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    At a Car Dealership:
    "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
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    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
    **************************



    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
    **************************

    At the Electric Company:
    "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
    However, if you don't, you will be."
    **************************

    In a Restaurant window:
    "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
    ** ************************

    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    "Drive carefully. We'll wait."


    At a Propane Filling Station,
    "Thank heaven for little grills."
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  2. 18 Comments

  3. by   piscesgirl
    on a construction truck:
    Steel Erections
  4. by   Cubby
    The funniest set of signs I have ever seen was in SW OKC. One sign was for a Veterinarian and the sign next to it was for a Taxidermist! If one did not work well...just go next door and you can have Fido with you for years to come. :chuckle
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    On a sign outside of a dry cleaners:

    "Drop your pants here."
  6. by   VivaLasViejas
    One of the funniest signs I ever saw was right here in the middle of town:

    CITY CENTER MOTEL

    KITCHENETTES

    REASONABLE RATS

    Of course, I was sure no motel owner would want customers to think there were any rats---reasonable or not---so I called them up to let them know about the sign. Instead of a 'thank you', however, I got an incredibly rude earful from the guy who answered the phone and then was hung up on. :angryfire

    Then again, sometimes there IS justice in the world......that motel went out of business the following year.
  7. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I would have called back and said "Thank you for proving to me that the RATS AREN'T reasonable" lol.
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Here's another:

    Sign on the door of a farm equipment retailer:

    "We stand behind all of our products, except the manure spreader".
  9. by   madwife2002
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    I would have called back and said "Thank you for proving to me that the RATS AREN'T reasonable" lol.


    Now that was quick lol
  10. by   LeahJet
    This is an actual sign at a Mississippi small town gas station........

    "QUICK LUBE- ENTER AT REAR"

    :chuckle
  11. by   jett01
    Name of a local lawn care business and the sign on the side of the truck: The Lawn Ranger.
  12. by   grinnurse
    I live in a small town in Texas and have questioned these since they put them up!!

    "No Motor Brakes allowed in City" :chuckle I've noticed alot of the citizens obeying this sign though
    I think they may have been referring to "Jake Brakes" by the 18 wheelers........dunno
  13. by   General E. Speaking, RN
    "We know your children are angels, but this ain't heaven" in a waiting area.

    "Curl Up and Dye" beauty salon

    "Wok and Roll" chinese restaurant

    "Slow down and see our dam, speed up and see our dam judge" billboard, small town
  14. by   crjnursewarrior
    Quote from grinnurse
    I live in a small town in Texas and have questioned these since they put them up!!

    "No Motor Brakes allowed in City" :chuckle I've noticed alot of the citizens obeying this sign though
    I think they may have been referring to "Jake Brakes" by the 18 wheelers........dunno
    Grinnurse...
    I think you're right, they probably meant Jake brakes...which are more correctly called ENGINE brakes!! But their sign is funnier!

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