Friend going to Finland to meet internet buddy...whaddya think?

  1. A friend of mine has been talking online with a guy for five months or so, and he lives in Finland. She just told me that she's flying there in March to meet him- all alone. Umm. I'm trying not to be paranoid, but this seems almost dangerous to me- any suggestions on how she can stay safe and come back in one piece? Have any of you done anything like this before? I'm worried that something will happen. She's going to be going alone to a foreign country where she doesn't speak a word of the native language to meet a man she's only spoken to in chat and on a web cam. Any ideas?
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  2. 14 Comments

  3. by   mimslaru
    :uhoh21: This sounds unsafe. The idea of going to a foreign country without speaking the language is alarming enough. Not to mention that she's meeting a guy she doesn't really know. The best case would be he come here and they meet in a public place during daylight.
    Maybe she could take someone with her?
  4. by   purplemania
    Most people in Finland speaks English as second language so she will do fine on that point. Otherwise, treat him as if she were meeting any stranger. Go to neutral spot (not lobby of her own hotel), take a friend, use taxi for transport, do not invite him to room, etc. I have traveled to Netherlands and Scandanavia many times without incident, but do not want her to be a statistic.
  5. by   mimslaru
    Thank you purplemania for clarifying the language issue. I must think the worse case scenario as this situation just sends up all kinds of red flags to me.
  6. by   AmyLiz
    If she's careful...meets him at a neutral location, etc...it should be fine. I've known several people (including myself) who have made trips to meet online friends. And 3 of us are now married! I flew out to Los Angeles to meet my now hubby. A bit different since I was friends with his brother. A friend from my church met her now husband online. He is from Denmark, I believe. He flew out here to meet her...and she flew out there to see him a few times before he moved here and they got married.
  7. by   iliel
    I don't think it's any different than going out with some guy you just met at a party for the first time. Go some place public, don't let him know where your staying (just in case) and use common sense.
    you have to take chances sometimes in life, as long as you use simple common sense then you should be ok. Ppl can lie over the computer and they can lie in a bar face to face.
  8. by   nursedawn67
    Quote from iliel
    I don't think it's any different than going out with some guy you just met at a party for the first time. Go some place public, don't let him know where your staying (just in case) and use common sense.
    you have to take chances sometimes in life, as long as you use simple common sense then you should be ok. Ppl can lie over the computer and they can lie in a bar face to face.


    You said it all for me thanks!


    You can't be too careful.
  9. by   BarbPick
    Why isn't he coming here?
  10. by   Tweety
    I believe the Finns, like most of Scandanavia speak English very well, so I doubt the language is going to be a problem.

    The advice about meeting in public is a good one. Plus, she probably shouldn't let the person know where she's staying at first.

    I belonged to a newsgroup and about six of us got together at a local hotel restaurant and had a good time.

    I'm a bit cynical about internet romances though, it seems that a lot of them loose their spark in person, but I'd tell her to go for it and have a good time.
  11. by   hmccartn
    she should take someone else with her, and also provide her loved ones with all the details re where she will be staying etc, and all of the contact info re this guy..i worked with someone once who, after knowing someone over the internet for under a month, flew to texas to meet with him. she never provided anyone with contact information for him or where she could be reached. she never called at an agreed upon time to one of her friends.. we thought for sure something had happened...just turned out she was being irresponsible about not calling...important to be safe...
  12. by   mattsmom81
    I don't blame you for being concerned as she is going alone to a strange country and does not have any support system around her. Wish she would take a friend....but I would definitely do as suggested by other posters and advise her to have an 'escape plan' should this guy turn out to be bad news. And no private meetings for sure.

    Call me paranoid, but I would do a background check via private investigator before starting a relationship with a complete stranger in this way. Particularly under these circumstances.
  13. by   nekhismom
    Quote from mattsmom81
    I would definitely do as suggested by other posters and advise her to have an 'escape plan' should this guy turn out to be bad news. And no private meetings for sure.

    Call me paranoid, but I would do a background check via private investigator before starting a relationship with a complete stranger in this way. Particularly under these circumstances.
    That says it for me.
  14. by   Ada
    Hey...

    Finland is a small country and the chances of actually meeting someone who's going to hurt you here are very slim. Most people speak English (well at leasts people born in the 1950s and up). I understand your concern and I agree that it's always good to meet in a public place and not to let him immediately know where she's are staying...

    But Finland is a very safe country to come to...

    Do you know what city she is going to? Oh, and if you've got some questions ask away!

    Ada, Finland

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