Fellow Nurse with a no moral compass - page 2

Hello, I have never done this but I figured this is where I could get the best advice. My best friend who is a RN is cheating on her husband for the last 3 months. He is retired military and works... Read More

  1. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    I don't know about the UK but here you need first hand knowledge of a crime before you report as being truthful. Did this nurse see this other nurse selling or smuggling drugs into the jail? If so why didn't she report it then? If she knew that this nurse was selling drugs in front of her kids why didn't she report her to CYS as mandated for issues of child endangerment? If you are going to provide honest testimony against somebody then you cannot rely on rumor and innuendo which is how many nurses operate inside their own little sick society of like minded gossiping pigs. "I know for a fact" usually translates into "I just made up this juicy piece of BS for you to enjoy with the other rumor mongers".

    I'll say it again if this nurse had first hand knowledge of all these transgressions and stood idle she was in violation of her duty as a nurse to report. What caused all this moral outrage anyway? The fact that her "best friend" is engaged in an extramarital affair of which she doesn't approve. Apparently trafficking / smuggling drugs and endangering children was OK so long as this other nurse kept her knees together.

    PS: I Hope I never have a "best friend" who will deem it appropriate to share all my secrets with the rest of the universe via the internet.

    Our profession would be much better off if people only attested to what they have ACTUALLY WITNESSED and minded their own damn business otherwise
  2. by   serenitylove14
    Sounds like you have a poor moral compass because youre allowing people like this in your life and around your children.
    She isnt a friend and if you still consider her one you need to do some soul searching and think about YOUR life choices.
    You can only change yourself so what will YOU do to rectify the issue that you keep allowing into your life.
  3. by   Davey Do
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    I Hope I never have a "best friend" who will deem it appropriate to share all my secrets with the rest of the universe via the internet.
    internet-abe-jpg
  4. by   kbrn2002
    Did this friend get fired from that last job because she was caught having an inappropriate relationship with an inmate? If so, I'm pretty sure her employer already reported to her BON. I doubt if she was caught bringing drugs into the prison as I would think that would have resulted in an arrest and you didn't mention anything about visiting her in jail.

    As for her cheating on her husband, it doesn't really matter how wonderful you think the guy is her marriage is none of your business. If you insist on staying her friend stay out of it. Even if you don't remain her friend stay out of it.

    As for the drug allegations, how do you know this to be true? Are you with her when she's transferring drugs to an inmate? Have you been with her when she buys drugs? Have you been in her home when she's accepting drugs in front of her kids? If so a call to the police and CPS would be in order. If she is indeed trafficking meth and heroin to inmates that's a legal matter before it's a nursing matter. If it becomes a legal matter, believe me the BON will find out. If you have indeed been witness to these crimes and didn't say anything that could possibly make you an accessory to those crimes, so chew on that before you continue to complain about her illegal behavior.
  5. by   Davey Do
    Well, I'm just really surprised no one has suggested the obvious.

    moralcompass-web-313x320-

    And they are on sale now, so that's another incentive, people!
  6. by   not.done.yet
    This has nothing to do with nursing other than that your friend is a nurse.

    If you knew about this behavior and have done nothing up to now, you are just as much in trouble with the moral compass issue. If you are a nurse you also are in trouble from a legal standpoint.

    In the future I would advise you choose your 'friends' more carefully.
  7. by   Davey Do
    Quote from not.done.yet
    This has nothing to do with nursing other than that your friend is a nurse.

    If you knew about this behavior and have done nothing up to now, you are just as much in trouble with the moral compass issue. If you are a nurse you also are in trouble from a legal standpoint.

    In the future I would advise you choose your 'friends' more carefully.
    GOSH, not.done.yet!

    You can be so.... oh, what is the word that I'm looking for?

    Practical?

    See if you can do something about that.
  8. by   not.done.yet
    I am trying. Really really trying. My husband tells me how trying I am all the time.
  9. by   Davey Do
    Quote from not.done.yet
    I am trying. Really really trying. My husband tells me how trying I am all the time.
    A patient with an Axis II diagnosis once said to me "I'm not trying to be a pain..."

    I interrupted with: "You don't have to try. You're a natural!"
  10. by   GaryRay
    If she's trafficking drugs she's probably abusing them as well. Give her a chance to get help through TPAPN so she can keep her license. But at the end of the day you are a mandatory reporter. if she is impaired or committing felonies (especially something having to do with drugs) you can report her to the nursing board anonymously. It may sound cruel, but if she's really your friend you should want to help her. If she is involved in illegal drugs she doesn't need to be given a prescription pad. You should know most of all how hard NPs have worked in various states for autonomy and scope of practice. I don't want someone making these choices representing our profession. But she still deserves some due process and a chance to get help before her livelihood is jeopardized.
  11. by   BostonFNP
    Quote from GaryRay
    If she's trafficking drugs she's probably abusing them as well. Give her a chance to get help through TPAPN so she can keep her license. But at the end of the day you are a mandatory reporter. if she is impaired or committing felonies (especially something having to do with drugs) you can report her to the nursing board anonymously. It may sound cruel, but if she's really your friend you should want to help her. If she is involved in illegal drugs she doesn't need to be given a prescription pad. You should know most of all how hard NPs have worked in various states for autonomy and scope of practice. I don't want someone making these choices representing our profession. But she still deserves some due process and a chance to get help before her livelihood is jeopardized.
    To be clear, nothing in this scenario is covered by being a mandated reporter.
  12. by   hoochiemama1
    Rat her out. Use proof if you have it. If you dont, do it annonymously. At the very least it may make her think of her potential loses. I would also certainly report this to the State board of registry. Proof or not. It will be on file as a reference. You could also inv.olve a mentor to help with an intervention. Its a sad shame. Your FIRST responsibility is to the safety of her patients. How good a friend can she be if she treats her own husband and children with that little respect. Watch your back, sister (or brother)
  13. by   macawake
    Quote from Sour Lemon
    Why does a google search of your screen name bring up controlling vampire urges, erotic creative writing submissions, etc.? Coincidence?
    Seems unlikely

    Quote from Davey Do
    A patient with an Axis II diagnosis once said to me "I'm not trying to be a pain..."

    I interrupted with: "You don't have to try. You're a natural!"
    Ain't that the truth.

    Quote from not.done.yet
    I am trying. Really really trying. My husband tells me how trying I am all the time.
    Poor hubby

    Quote from Bwfc07
    I would report her to nmc if in UK or your nursing council in what ever country u are in she should be disbarred from practice not a professional nurses practice dealing in drugs and having an affair with an inmate
    I guess we needed a dissenting voice in this thread to liven it up since all of us were pretty much advocating the no-drama route. Welcome to AN!

    Do you really think that OP provided enough details to support the recommendation you're making? I personally don't. OP hasn't shared if s/he actually has firsthand knowledge about the things s/he allleges took place. Plus there's the fact that several posters have mentioned; if OP knew about this when it was happening but didn't report it then, OP might also be in trouble for not reporting. Reporting it after the fact reeks of some personally motivated grudge, not a professional sense of responsibility.


    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    I don't know about the UK but here you need first hand knowledge of a crime before you report as being truthful. Did this nurse see this other nurse selling or smuggling drugs into the jail? If so why didn't she report it then?
    Agreed.

    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    What caused all this moral outrage anyway? The fact that her "best friend" is engaged in an extramarital affair of which she doesn't approve. Apparently trafficking / smuggling drugs and endangering children was OK so long as this other nurse kept her knees together.
    I don't know if OP is more upset about the (alleged) extramarital affair itself or the (alledged) fact that it was with an inmate at her place of work or if it's the (alledged) fact that her friend of hers deals drugs in front of her children. Personally I literally could not care less if a coworker has an extramarital affair. As I've previously stated; I think it's their business. Make no mistake though, a corrections nurse having an affair with an inmate and doing favors for that inmate, or for that matter doing favors for an inmate without the added component of coitus , is a HUGE problem. It's not a question of morality, it's a grave security risk.

    Once a member of staff starts making an inmate even a small favor that the employer frowns upon, the inmate has gained leverage over the member of staff. The inmate can use that leverage to blackmail the employee into granting ever bigger favors that will pose a real risk to all employees of the facility and conceivably also to other inmates. Smartphones, drugs and weapons are some of the things that the member of staff can be coerced to bring into the jail/prison. Not good for obvious reasons. The member of staff can of course be leaned on not only by his or her lover, but also by every other inmate who gains knowledge about the goings on. And they will find out.

    So if this happened and I witnessed it at my place of work, you bet I would report it. For safety reasons for myself and everyone else, but also for my coworker to protect him or her from digging themselves into an even deeper hole when meeting the escalating demands from the inmates. But now like in OP's case, after the fact and what I believe is based on secondhand information, no way I'd touch it.

    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    PS: I Hope I never have a "best friend" who will deem it appropriate to share all my secrets with the rest of the universe via the internet.
    I'm not entirely convinced that all this is real. I'm always a bit sceptical when someone's first post is as salacious as this one is. But yeah, I wouldn't want to have a best friend who aired all my dirty laundry on the internet either

close