feeling very sad...

  1. Friday was my last shift. They were supposed to pay me, but NM screwed up.. I hope they have to pay a fine.

    I feel like I have no identity any more--stripped nekked. not even a toe tag. If I don't take care of premies, and I don't work there, who and what am I?

    Very weepy this weekend, which I hope will end SOON!! I know, there's lots to do out there besides hang another gavage feeding, but I just love those little tykes, there is nothing cuter, I don't care what anyone says.

    Is this message a bummer or what?
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  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   FiFi
    Why was it your last shift? Can't you get another position somewhere else?
  4. by   Nurse Ratched
    I take it you have retired? (based on the title below your nickname) How exciting and distressing all at once. Nurses are very much invested in their jobs - if someone asked you to describe yourself in a single word, it probably wouldn't be wife or mother, altho that may be true also, but it would be NURSE.

    Guess what - you're still a nurse . Just now, you have time to do the things that you may not have had time to explore before. Do you want to see what happens to your preemies when they get older? Can you volunteer at a preschool? Are there piles of projects just waiting your undivided attention?

    I can't imagine the crisis of retiring. Those of us in health care derive so much of our identities from what we do for a living. I'm not going to tell you something like "you'll get over it." (You will, of course, but part of your heart will always be in it.) You should take the time to grieve this loss and figure out where to go from here.

    You always have this place!

    BTW - how many years of service did you celebrate?
  5. by   prmenrs
    I've been on the board for about an hour, and Ican honestly say I feel better. I have been a nurse for 34 yrs. I can go back per diem @ the same place, or a "level 2" nursery closer to home. I'm thinking about applying for a teaching assistant job, or for a job in a library. something NOT nursing. I went to a diploma school and do not have a BSN, so can't be a school nurse. I think they have jobs as aides for students w/health needs, like in a wheelchair, etc., to help w/ feeding, toileting issues. I wouldn't mind not ever having to work another holiday, that's for sure!!

    Thanks--as always, allnurses.com to the rescue.
  6. by   aimeee
    I'm glad your spirits are rising already. It is a big adjustment when we leave our jobs. They are so much a part of our identity. I know you will find this is not just the end, but a new beginning for you.
  7. by   oramar
    I have a friend that has a school job assisting disabled kids just like you described. She was the best darn hospital LPN I ever worked with. She loves it because for the first time in her life she can count on weekend, holidays and summers off. The money is the same. Last time I talked to her in April she was thinking about picking up some agency work this summer but then again she was thinking of just taking summer off.
  8. by   hoolahan
    {{{{prmenrs}}}}
    You could always do some shifts for homecare babies. I know Bayada is always advertising for nurses with peds vent skills.

    I don't know about you, but right about now, I have a list of things I want to do when I retire. First on the list is read all the classics, then go on vacation, fix up my house, start a rose garden, deliver meals on wheels.... I can't wait! I am also thinking, God makes teenagers the way they are, so we will not experience empty nest syndrome. I am thinking I will be the hapiest women when my kids move out! But, I am sure I will feel differently, and miss them like crazy, when it actually happens!

    Please take in a little nap for me, oh yeah, also on my list, a daily nap! LOL!
  9. by   CATHYW
    Sorry they ended your job. That is one of the most frustrating things about today's world. There is no loyalty to the employee, and vice versa. Everything job-related seems kind of temporal!
  10. by   dianah
    Yeah, it'll probably be an emotional roller coaster ride for some time, but will even out as you find your "new" self . . which is the "old" self, only some of the toys that have been played with exclusively got tucked away in a drawer so new ones could be pulled out and experienced. I prescribe tincture of time . . . --D
  11. by   formernurse
    I am 60 now, and would have been close to retirement had I not been injured when I was 53. Believe me, as upset as I was about not being able to work again as a nurse, I also grieved the loss of what "could have been." Most of the time I just try and enjoy those things that make me happy. Finding this "all Nurse" board has been a blessing in disguise---and each day I feel like I'm making new friends to communicate with. God Bless and stay happy.::
  12. by   prmenrs
    They gave me a party, today--it was pretty cool. They made a BEAUTIFUL album--lots of pix and nice words: "There's no hug like a "Sandi hug", and other neat stuff.

    The Clinical Director gave a little speech--I've never seen a DOC get choked up before--I was weepy over the weekend, but I didn't cry at all today. I was surprised by him. Other people said very nice things, too.

    I got some very nice gifts, including a "money" lei--one of the nurses makes them, they're terrific.

    AND--good news--they might have my check tomorrow!!! SHOPPING!! That's where you can find me!!

    Thanks for all the support--it helped.
  13. by   NRSKarenRN
    prmenrs,

    Congrats on your retirement. Time now to take care of YOU!

    Two RN's from my office retired two years ago. One came back two days a week, other stayed out for one year to assist mom,transistion her to assisted living and is now doing HHA sup visits two days week. Do they use cuddlers in your unit, volunteers to read/provide comfort sick ones; flu clinic nurses??? You will find your niche.

    Wishing you the best.
    Karen
  14. by   live4today
    SHOPPING? Did someone say "SHOPPING"? Sounds like prmenrs has found a cure for what ailED her!

    Congrats on your NEXT journey onward, prmenrs! To say one has retired, is to say one has given up on life. You still have much life to live...just in a different direction than the path you've enjoyed as a NICU nurse. Who knows...you may be back on that same unit a few hours a week cuddling and feeding those preemies because no hospital has EVER turned away FREE help! Hospitals LOVE their Volunteers! I know...I use to be one. :kiss

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