Feeling Sad For My Friend

  1. Just had to share with you all what I witnessed Thursday night. I had the day off and was sitting on my porch chatting with my mother on the phone. My neighbor, ( and friend since we were 12) went by and I mentally noted she was early getting home from work and continued chatting with my mother. A few minutes later an ambulance came driving up the road and pulled in her driveway. I started getting worried and tried to decide whether I should go over or not. I hung up with my mother and something propelled my legs across the road. In the meantime her daughter comes flying in the other neighbors driveway screaming and crying. I got to the door and saw my dear friend in hysterics sitting in a chair in her living room. (Her husband, who was only 53 had just come home that day from knee replacement surgery that was performed on monday, was a full code upstairs in his room.) (Appparently he wanted steak for dinner and my friend needed to run some other errands so , he had my friend help him to the spare room for a nap . He told her to go and he would be fine. So she left and ran her errands and returned approximately 1hour and 45minutes later. When Charlotte returned he was unresponsive and no pulse she could feel, and 911 was called) As the minutes ticked by I knew in my heart it was not a good outcome. Well the firemen came down and asked me to get her to another room and I did. We went out on the breezeway and she and I sat there together. When they wheeled my neighbor across the lawn I knew it was all over. They were ambuing him but not strong enough, and no cpr was being done. This was all a show for my friend, because they needed to take him to the hospital to be pronounced and felt my friend couldn't deal with the truth right then. The thing that has been bothering me ever since is that her husbands belly was as large as a women who was 9 months pregnant. So what do you think? When they intubated him, they got the tube down his esophogus instead of his trachea, or what? I know that Lenny was already dead I'm sure by the time she found him, that nothing could have been done to save him, but you er people, is that normal for his belly to be that large after trying to revive him? My poor friend, she is devistated,and I stayed with her til 4am friday morning. So I guess this is partly to just unload. They feel it was due to a blood clot...he was on coumadin...was still in the bag with his meds. So thanks for listening...calling hours are tomorrow, and the funeral is monday. Please say a prayer for Charlotte and her family...this is almost too much for them to bare.
  2. 14 Comments

  3. by   RNforLongTime
    How sad. My thoughts and prayers are with Charlotte and her family
  4. by   Jenny P
    In codes in the hospital it is possible for the stomach to be inflated during CPR even before intubation because of air in the stomach when using an ambu mask because of poor neck positioning. Some people's necks are very hard to position properly, especially if they are very muscular or obese.
    The other question is what did he have on for clothing; and was there any chance that he may have had some other problem that would have caused his belly to be so large (ruptured AAA, bowel perforation, etc.)?
    I am so sorry for your friend and her family. My thoughts and prayers will be with them. Peace also to you.
  5. by   night owl
    I feel so bad for your friend and her family and their thoughts will be in my prayers. As for you, I'll say a prayer to keep you strong to help them get through the rough days ahead. May the Lord bless you and keep you and may he give you peace...

    ~night owl~
  6. by   JennieBSN
    Geez, Colleen...how horrid!! You know...okay, gonna say something really odd here...it sounds like Charlotte's husband knew he was about to die. I know it sounds weird, but I've heard stories about stuff like that happening. People knowing it was their time, and not wanting family members to witness it, so sent them out on 'errands' and stuff so they could die in peace.

    Anyway, I'll say a little prayer for your friend. Stuff like that sends chills up my spine. Charlotte is the same age as my mom...

    Gonna call my parents now. So sorry to hear about that. Glad you were there for her, Colleen.
  7. by   moonchild20002000

    So sorry to hear about your friend.I'll keep you all in my prayers.
  8. by   CEN35
    I agree with Kristine........he knew it was coming......

    Sorry for the tragedy Mick.....

  9. by   CashewLPN
    sorry mickey

    but it is true that 2 to poor head positioning from CPR, the belly inflates and it does not look too cool....
    maybe was a PE, and he went fast....
    goddess has her ways... her reasons...

  10. by   Aerolizing
    I know this is a late reply but I had to respond as my mother died recently from PE after radical mastectomy and she looked 9 months pregnant too and was purple and yellow all over. It was horrible to see but I figured it was from CPR. My mother was 56.

    Be there for your friend now as the need for caring friends is so strong after the initial wave of well wishers go home.
  11. by   kaycee
    I am also so sorry for your friends loss. Be strong for her, she will need you in the weeks to come.
    As an ER nurse I agree with the others who said there is air in the belly from intubation. We frequently have to decompress the belly with an NG post arrest if the pt survives.
    Take care of yourself and your friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  12. by   semstr
    Sorry to hear this! regards for your friend.
    God bless her and her family,
    I'll lit a candle tonight for the soul of her husband
    Take care of her and of yourself, Renee
  13. by   MRed94

    Prayers and hugs for you and your friend and her family from here, too.

  14. by   Jenzee
    I am so, so sorry for your friend and her family. I lost my Dad at only 51 a year ago last June. He went very suddenly too. He and Mom were talking about him getting a new job. You see after the large coal companies closed here in Ohio, he had lost his job and had been working for a land fill making next to nothing and working 14 hour days. Well that night he had been told that he had gotten a really good new job with great benifits.

    He was so excited. He gave my Mom a kiss good night and was on his way to bed, it was early because he had to be up for work at 3:00 am. I guess he yelled down to Mom "I love you". Then about 2 minutes later Mom heard a thump. She called out to Dad and ran upstairs when he didn't answer. She said the whole left side of his face was pulsing. She ran to get help and saw my little brother driving down the street. He knew CPR and Mom didn't, so he did CPR on Dad. It was too late I guess though, he had vomited so he even had it in his lungs. The EMT's tried suction but it did not work, at the hospital they tried to intibate him but were unable to due to the volume of vomit in his throat. Has anyone ever heard of that??

    My hubby and I live in Columbus, 2 hours west of my parents so we had a drive and a half in the most aweful rain I swear I have ever seen. I made my hubby call the hospital because at the time I didn't know Dad was gone, just knew that something was wrong and that he was at the hospital. Yuck! I can still see his face, I just knew.

    Anyway, I am so so so sorry for your friend. I will keep her in my prayers.