Family Gatherings begin.....

  1. And so begins the holiday saga, when you have to travel miles and miles to visit distant relatives that you barely know, only to leave thinking "Why did I not just stay home like I wanted to.....will I ever learn?"

    Went to see my mom's side of the family today. Hubby couldn't come because he still has three more days left of active duty. I really wanted to stay home.....my mom's side of the family is not close knit at all, and it is really quite uncomfortable. Buuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttt, my parents wanted me to go, and if I hadn't.....mom and grandma would have gotten their feelings hurt. Can't have that now, can I?

    *Sigh*....so I ride three and a half hours crammed in the back of my parents car with my younger bro and sis. We get there only to find out instead of having Christmas Dinner.....my uncle decided it would be best to have Pizza Pro. *yucko* We come into the dinning room so he can say the blessing. He waits until everyone is present (all 20 or so adults and their various children) then proceeds to ream my mother quite distastefully because she was supposed to bring a meat tray. Why? Because, "You know that there are some people who don't like pizza!" Then he bows his head and says the blessing as my mother storms out.

    Turns out it was his idea to break from tradition to order pizza. BUT.....his wife doesn't even like pizza. So he asked my mother, who doesn't like pizza either and was mad that he was screwing with our traditions, to bring a meat tray to accommodate his wife. My mom told him plain as day that if his wife wanted something special to bring it for herself, that she didn't want pizza either but since it was HIS decision to stray from the usual ham and turkey then he should accommodate any special needs. He said he understood over the phone, only to call her out and sternly reprimand her right in front of everyone. My mom is already shy, so she was humiliated and hurt.

    So we left, and drove another three and half hours back to the house, crammed in the back seat.......

    Gee, I can't wait until next year. The holidays are just so delightful
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   Spidey's mom
    I'm sorry about your day. I don't even see my side of the family anymore - too many bad experiences.

    My husband's family however is awesome. Kind, caring, loving, funny and great cooks.

    I hate those mother-in-law jokes. I love my mother-in- law and father-in-law. And my sister-in-law and her husband. And all my nieces and nephews.

    Can't wait to go out to the ranch - fortunately it is only about 10 miles away.

    steph
  4. by   Katnip
    We don't have much in the way of family anymore to visit. A few distant cousins. A BIL in Texas who won't travel during the holidays.

    Like Steph I quit hanging around with my family a long time ago. And when we had kids I put my foot down on traveling for Christmas. We would go the day after, but not before, so mostly people came to us.

    But like I said, it's the 4 of us now. But we do things with friends and neighbors sometimes who feel like family.
  5. by   Tweety
    Why is it that some people treat strangers better than those they love the most. You're uncle was rude and wrong.

    Sorry it was such a drama.

    Too bad we can't pick our families.
  6. by   LeahJet
    Hey Brittney,
    Sorry you had such a lousy time. Your uncle sounds like a real piece of work.

    All of my family lives within about 5 miles of each other....so we don't have to drive for 3 and a half hours crammed in a car to make ourselves miserable...we get to do it all the time! How convenient. Nah, I'm joking. We all get along fine except for one histrionic aunt and a couple of cousins that like to stir stuff up every once and a while..... but hey, that just makes life more interesting, I guess.
  7. by   Katnip
    You know, asoldierswife, you could probably write a screenplay for one of those off-the-wall Chrismas movies.

    What your uncle did was rude. I can't understand how he got it into his head to have pizza. Did the rest of the family agree to this?

    At least you don't have to put up with them day in and day out.
  8. by   nurse4theplanet
    Quote from cyberkat
    You know, asoldierswife, you could probably write a screenplay for one of those off-the-wall Chrismas movies.

    What your uncle did was rude. I can't understand how he got it into his head to have pizza. Did the rest of the family agree to this?

    At least you don't have to put up with them day in and day out.
    Yeah, between this and my in-laws I could make billions.....

    It was rude indeed, and then he just bowed his head to say the blessing in a holier than thou kind of way. Reallly made me lose all respect for him.

    It wasn't even the fact that he wanted pizza instead of turkey/ham. It was the fact that he was the ONLY one who wanted pizza including his own wife, and he brow beat my grandmother and his siblings into agreeing, then got all huffy puffy because his wife had nothing to eat. I mean, come on! It was like a three year old took over his body!

    Oh well. Glad to be done with this side of the family. I will go to see my grandma every summer when we go to the horsetrack, but no more of these other folk who seem to relish in putting one another down to self-serve their ego.
  9. by   tencat
    I don't have family where I live, so it's mostly friends we spend time with during the holidays, which is A LOT better in my opinion! :hatparty:

    I really dislike my family of origin, they really put the 'Joy' in Christmas (NOT). I love spending time with my husband's family, but they are pretty far away from us right now. We get together with a huge family in our town and have lots of food and sing Karaoke, very badly I might add.
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    We stopped traveling 1000s of miles to visit family. We just decided, once we had kids, to have our OWN Christmas at our OWN house and establish our own traditions. It saves a LOT of stress and strain, not to mention the tiring aspect of traveling far and wide and being guests in others' homes at such a stressful time of the year.

    I imagine once you have your own family, you may consider doing this too---esp if you are still in the military. As we come to the end of our military life (my dh can retire anytime now), we still are about 2000 miles from "home" but really, it's no longer "home" for us now. Home is where the USAF sent us and we are quite happy here.

    Meantime, try to enjoy yourself, set your mind to let little things go and to just have a good time however you can. Happy Holidays!
  11. by   nurse4theplanet
    I am done with this side of the family...except for my grandma. She has been battling CA on and off for two years now. Guilt plays a big role in going consistently each year so that way I won't disappoint my mom and grandma. I really hate it. The family is so distant that half of them can't remember my name and didn't even ask about my husband. I just don't see the point in wasting my time each year with complete strangers just because they are my blood relatives. Next year is going to be completely different....I just hope my grandma can understand.
  12. by   nursemary9
    You Know, my DH always says

    "You can CHOOSE you're Friends, but you have nothing to say about FAMILY!!"
    I so agree with this.

    Mary Ann
  13. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from Tweety
    Why is it that some people treat strangers better than those they love the most. You're uncle was rude and wrong.

    Sorry it was such a drama.

    Too bad we can't pick our families.

    Same thoughts here.



    My closest family is in Arizona, will be spending another Christmas with my husband and pets.
  14. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Ya cant' chose your family, but you CAN choose how your holidays will go. After this many years as a military wife, I choose them to be low-stress and relaxing. My family just stresses us out needlessly.

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