Ever wake up and realize you don't have a life?

  1. I hadn't really given much thought to this while I was working, but now as a student I realize I really just how limited I've let my life become.

    It's easy, really: You get caught up with work, then with taking care of things around the home. Then there are the additional activities, whether PTA, church, etc.,...you forget to do things that are simply fun, to socialize. And given the stresses and demands of life today, it makes it hard to find time to do these fun activities.

    It was practicing taking patient histories that woke me up to that fact. I realized that I hadn't really hadn't found time for hobbies, or made any new friends, since I graduated 10 years ago! Even my activities outside of work---church choir, Big Brothers, etc.,---were more about working (even if on a volunteer basis) than simply relaxing and/or socializing.

    All to easy to occur, given the pace of today's world (and our increasing social isolation). So look out, stop and think, and ask yourself:

    "Do I have a life?"

    Hopefully you won't have to return to school to realize this.
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   UM Review RN
    In my case, it's the old time vs. money vicious circle.

    If I have the time, I don't have the money. If I have the money, I don't have the time.

    Which is why I have expanded cable, Internet access, and a flat rate cell phone plan that lets me call or text anywhere, anytime in the US for $40/month. Ba-da-bing! Socializing on the cheap.
    Last edit by UM Review RN on Sep 19, '07
  4. by   deeDawntee
    My God Man!! Are you Crazy??? With everything you described I would say you are living as full a life as anyone I know or could imagine!!

    Do you think leisure time equals "having a life"? Ask people who have retired what they say about that and the struggle it is to adjust to leisure time.

    I guess I am truly confused, what is your definition of having a life? I am truly curious!

  5. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from deeDawntee
    My God Man!! Are you Crazy??? With everything you described I would say you are living as full a life as anyone I know or could imagine!!

    Do you think leisure time equals "having a life"? Ask people who have retired what they say about that and the struggle it is to adjust to leisure time.

    I guess I am truly confused, what is your definition of having a life? I am truly curious!


    I thought he meant just being able to call a couple of friends and they'd come over and they'd all just sit around and shoot the shhhh....I mean, you know.... talk.
  6. by   deeDawntee
    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    I thought he meant just being able to call a couple of friends and they'd come over and they'd all just sit around and shoot the shhhh....I mean, you know.... talk.

    Oh, OK...certainly that is an important aspect of life, hanging out with friends, etc. if that is how one defines "having a life". But to say that you "don't have a life" because of that is kind of negating everything else, don't you think? Or am I being too picky?

  7. by   UM Review RN
    Well, you might mean that you don't have a *social* life. Everything else might be pleasant to do and very helpful to others, but doesn't quite make it as far as the pure satisfaction of hanging out and doing nothing with some friends.

    For me, I just kinda realized one day that if it wasn't for work, church, meetings, and family responsibilities, I would have no social life whatsoever.

    It's hard to make friends when you're old.
    Last edit by UM Review RN on Sep 19, '07
  8. by   Joe NightingMale
    Quote from deeDawntee
    Oh, OK...certainly that is an important aspect of life, hanging out with friends, etc. if that is how one defines "having a life". But to say that you "don't have a life" because of that is kind of negating everything else, don't you think? Or am I being too picky?

    OK, maybe I'm overstating things; I don't think my life is meaningless.

    It's just that, seeing my fellow (mostly younger) students makes me realize that perhaps I haven't appreciated the benefits of relaxing and socializing. Something that's perhaps not necessary for a meaningful life, but nice to have, especially when life gets stressful. Even for a strong introvert like me.
  9. by   deeDawntee
    You are preaching to the choir sister!!! hehehe
  10. by   Joe NightingMale
    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    Well, you might mean that you don't have a *social* life. Everything else might be pleasant to do and very helpful to others, but doesn't quite make it as far as the pure satisfaction of hanging out and doing nothing with some friends.

    For me, I just kinda realized one day that if it wasn't for work, church, meetings, and family responsibilities, I would have no social life whatsoever.

    It's hard to make friends when you're old.
    You're right, and I think our modern way of life makes making friends more difficult.

    But I'm going to give it a shot anyway; call me an idealist by I do believe in the power of community. And it's time I started doing something to promote community...
  11. by   deeDawntee
    Quote from Joe NightingMale
    OK, maybe I'm overstating things; I don't think my life is meaningless.

    It's just that, seeing my fellow (mostly younger) students makes me realize that perhaps I haven't appreciated the benefits of relaxing and socializing. Something that's perhaps not necessary for a meaningful life, but nice to have, especially when life gets stressful. Even for a strong introvert like me.

    OK, that makes sense. As a strong introvert are you getting enough alone time? (ever do the Meyer Briggs personality inventory?) Introverts need space for self-reflection and quiet in order to "charge their batteries", according to Meyer Briggs, whereas extroverts are energized by social interactions. Are you getting any balance in those areas?
  12. by   Grace Oz
    It's important to take time out to "smell the roses".

    I'm retired now and I consider I'm still having a life. Afterall, I'm upright, .... AND breathing!

    As for making friend's when "old";......I'm still making new friend's and loving being able to get to know new people.

    I guess it all depends on what one interprets "having a life" to mean.
    It can mean many things I think. The ideal is to have balance.
  13. by   Joe NightingMale
    Quote from deeDawntee
    OK, that makes sense. As a strong introvert are you getting enough alone time? (ever do the Meyer Briggs personality inventory?) Introverts need space for self-reflection and quiet in order to "charge their batteries", according to Meyer Briggs, whereas extroverts are energized by social interactions. Are you getting any balance in those areas?
    LOL! I'm single with two cats, so I am getting enough time alone. Too much, I suspect Took that test years ago, INFJ with a strong I. I know I need (and greatly value) solitude. As with any personality, it's balancing the things that you need and are necessary...I have enough solitude, but I need a bit more social action to balance that.

    I wonder what personalities nurses tend to have...
  14. by   deeDawntee
    Quote from Joe NightingMale
    LOL! I'm single with two cats, so I am getting enough time alone. Too much, I suspect Took that test years ago, INFJ with a strong I. I know I need (and greatly value) solitude. As with any personality, it's balancing the things that you need and are necessary...I have enough solitude, but I need a bit more social action to balance that.

    I wonder what personalities nurses tend to have...

    That is a great question, I tested INFP, however have strong compensatory J skills!! and a few E as well!

    I really like your idea of getting a community around you. Any ideas?
    I could use a few myself....

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