TO: All Nurses
Other than your own: This is not an acceptable reason for missing work. The deceased party no longer requires your assistance.
Your own: Time off is allowed, provided you give at least two weeks prior notice.
YOU MIGHT BE A NURSE IF:
You've developed a crease in your brow from years spent trying not to inhale noxious fumes.
Eating popcorn our of a clean bedpan seems normal.
REASONS TO BECOME A NURSE:
The courteous and infallible doctors are known for their excellent penmanship.
You'll do enough charting to be able to navigate around the world.
Celebrate the holidays with all your friends...at work.
Take comfort in the fact that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.