Drink Problem

  1. i was sent this today. v worried now. as it all made sense right to the very end! :chuckle



    i had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else... i said i would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

    i withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

    i then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

    i then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which i drank.

    i pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which i drank.

    i pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

    i pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

    then i corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

    when i had everything emptied, i steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by i counted them again, and finally i had all the houses in one bottle, which i drank.

    i'm not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep i am.

    i'm not half as thunk as you might drink.

    i fool so feelish i don't know who is me, and the drunker i stand here, the longer i get.
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   Stitchie
    Oh, I almost remember those days...sigh. My precious misspent youth.
  4. by   Mazieks
    Quote from shapeless
    i was sent this today. v worried now. as it all made sense right to the very end! :chuckle



    i had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else... i said i would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

    i withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

    i then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

    i then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which i drank.

    i pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which i drank.

    i pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

    i pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

    then i corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

    when i had everything emptied, i steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by i counted them again, and finally i had all the houses in one bottle, which i drank.

    i'm not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep i am.

    i'm not half as thunk as you might drink.

    i fool so feelish i don't know who is me, and the drunker i stand here, the longer i get.
    glad i don't have that problem anymore
  5. by   nekhismom
    giggle giggle.
  6. by   nursebedlam
    sounds like me with beer
  7. by   Token Male
    Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake
    Ingredients:
    1 cup water
    1 cup of brown sugar
    1 tsp baking soda
    1 cup of sugar
    1 tsp salt
    Lemon Juice
    4 large eggs
    Nuts
    1 bottle of Vodka
    1 can of Red Bull
    2 cups dried fruit
    Method:
    1. Sample the vodka to check the quality.
    2. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
    3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little red bull and drink.
    4. Repeat.
    5. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
    6. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
    7. At this point its is best to make sure the vodka is still ok.
    8. Flavour with red bull to taste.
    9. Try another cup - just in case turn off the mixerer.
    10. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
    11. Pick fruit off floor
    12. Mix on the turner.
    13. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
    14. Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitity, flavour with a little Bed Rull.
    15. Next ssiffft two cups of salt. Or something ... Who giveshz a shi**
    16. Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
    17. Pick up the can, mop the floor
    18. Check the vodka
    19. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
    20. Add one table.
    21. Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
    22. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over..
    23. Don't forget to beat off the turner
    24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the dog.
    25. Fall into bed.
    CHERRY MISTMAS :hatparty:
  8. by   teeituptom
    I havent drank in 28 years now
  9. by   Mazieks
    Quote from teeituptom
    I havent drank in 28 years now

    I do not miss sending the bartenders to Europe on my money lol

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