OK, this is my most profound dream ever.
I had just had my second child, my dtr. Unlike my son she was a "good" baby, slept well, ate well, rarely cried.(She's making up for all that now
). Anyway, here I was, two babes, 19 months apart, tired as a rag, b/c my son still got up at 5 in the am, I was working nights PT, but may not have been back to work yet even. Husband was working rotating shifts, and he was tired as a rag, and offered me NO help whatsoever. I guess deep down inside I was regretting ever having my second child, and definitely having two so close in age, both still in diapers, my son nearing the terrible twos, I was just exhausted. I was also on this emotional roller coaster, hormones etc, thinking how I loved my son so very very much, how would I ever have enough love to give to her as well, would I ever feel that same kind of profound deep love for her, which to be honest, I wasn't feeling, despite the fact she was such an easy baby.
So I have this dream. I am walking Kristy in the stroller down a street to a home on the bottom of a hill. I am going to a baby shower for someone else. God knows why, but in my dream, I decided to leave her in the stroller outside. No one else seemed to think it was odd at the shower. A little while later someone said it's starting to rain. It took me a few seconds to realize, Whoops! Better get the baby. Just as I am walking toward the stroller, a tidal wave comes rolling down the street and sweeps us away. Kristy is bobbing up and down, her head going under and back up from the water, I can't touch the bottom anymore. I keep trying to reach her, but she is just out of reach. I am suddenly desperate to get to her, and I reached as far as I could and just managed to grab her little arm before she was about to go under for the last time.
I woke up heart pounding, went right to that bassinet, grabbed that baby, held her close, and realized how wrong I was to have ever felt this way about her. And how I really did have that deep profound love for her, and I would never have a problem sharing my love with both of my children.