Don't Fart In Bed!

  1. I got this email today! sooooo funny!
    .................................................. ............

    If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
    I'll pray for you.

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The
    only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
    every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife the smell would
    make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
    was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
    perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
    one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to
    rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
    and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
    the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
    malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
    her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
    pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl
    of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
    which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
    footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
    herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
    years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip
    as she asked him what was the matter.

    He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and
    I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
    and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and
    two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
    •  
  2. 18 Comments

  3. by   Fun2, RN, BSN



    This is freakin' hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. by   HappyJaxRN
    OMgosh! That's hilarious!:chuckle
  5. by   Jessy_RN
    Hilarious!
  6. by   luvltc
    Oh wow! I love it. Bet he made a trip to the ER later.
  7. by   rn/writer
    This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Thanksgiving stuffing." Thanks for a good laugh.
  8. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Quote from 5scardiacnurse
    Oh wow! I love it. Bet he made a trip to the ER later.

    That would definitely make it on that show...."Untold stories of the ER" (or whatever the name is!)
  9. by   Roy Fokker
    Quote from rn/writer
    This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Thanksgiving stuffing." Thanks for a good laugh.
    I'll be sure to crack THIS part of the joke when I'm at the Thanksgiving table :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  10. by   Annor
    Quote from asoldierswife05
    I got this email today! sooooo funny!
    .................................................. ............

    If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
    I'll pray for you.

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The
    only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
    every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife the smell would
    make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
    was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
    perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
    one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to
    rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
    and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
    the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
    malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
    her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
    pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl
    of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
    which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
    footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
    herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
    years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip
    as she asked him what was the matter.

    He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and
    I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
    and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and
    two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
    THAT IS SO FUNNY..........LOL
    LOVED IT!!and so did my hubby!!!
  11. by   Euskadi1946
    Ohhh This Is Soooo Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!! :0 :0 :0
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    bwwwwwwwwwwwwwwahahahahahha
  13. by   fluffwad
  14. by   HeartsOpenWide
    I bed the E.R. doc will finally be able to say that "This is worse than that incident with Richard Gere...":chuckle

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