Dog Haiku

  1. yesterday my daughter found this while rummaging around in the file drawers of the hard drive. i had forgotten i had it. enjoy!


    dog haiku

    i love my master;
    thus i perfume myself with
    this long-rotten squirrel.

    i lie belly-up
    in the sunshine, happier than
    you ever will be

    i sound the alarm!
    paperboy-come to kill us all-
    look! look! look! look! look!

    i sound the alarm!
    garbage man-come to kill us all-
    look! look! look! look! look!

    i lift my leg and
    whiz on each bush . hello, spot-
    sniff this and weep

    how do i love thee?
    the ways are numberless as
    my hairs on the rug.

    my human is home!
    i am so ecstatic i have
    made a puddle

    i hate my choke chain-
    look, world, they strangle me! ack
    ack ack ack ack ack!

    sleeping here, my chin
    on your foot -no greater bliss-well,
    maybe catching rats

    look in my eyes and
    deny it. no human could
    love you as much i do

    the cat is not all
    bad-she fills the litter box
    with tootsie rolls

    dig under fence-why?
    because it's there. because it's
    there. because it's there.

    you may call them fleas,
    but they are far more -i call
    them a vocation

    i am your best friend,
    now, always, and especially
    when you are eating.
    Last edit by aimeee on Oct 17, '01
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   cmggriff
    aimee,
    That is so way too good. I sit in awe. Gary
  4. by   hoolahan
    I particularly loved this one....

    Look in my eyes and
    Deny it. No human could
    Love you as much I do
    So true. I like the belly up in sunshine one too.

    This was great, thanks!!
  5. by   CATHYW
    This is so excellent! I swear my cocker spaniel, Fanny, is saying, "we're being invaded! we're being invaded! we're being invaded!," as she barks furiously at God-knows-what at night.
    My husband and I are both so accustomed to her that we rarely get up anymore. Well, one morning, we woke up to the sound of her raspy voice STILL barking! My husband went downstairs, and she had apparently kept a raccoon trapped in our yard all night. She'd cried wolf so many times at wild earthworms and mad bacteria, that we had quit taking her seriously. Now, we have to start all over again...
  6. by   Zee_RN
    Oh, I love it! A long time ago, I found "RULES FOR DOGS" and will have to search for it again...One of them that I remember is...

    "The garbage man is NOT stealing our stuff...." Heh. Just love dog stuff . Thanks Aimee.
  7. by   aimeee
    Glad you all enjoyed it. Wish I knew who the author is. It is certainly clever...and true.

    LOL re:the dog barking itself hoarse over the raccoon. My dog is 90 pounds of Wuss but he sure sounds tough. He takes great offense at every woodland critter or neighbor cat that crosses our yard. He has learned to just bark a time or two and then "quietly" growl.

    Zee-I remember those rules for dogs! Those were funny and true too!
  8. by   debbyed
    I had to laugh as I read. You see I am sitting here at my computer trying to type with my Rotties head on my lap. About every six letters or so he knocks my arm away from the key board as if to say "You worked all night, now it's my turn.

    In addition my little dog is chassing her tail as usual and my cat is curled at my feet. Feels good this morning as it is only 38 degrees outside.
  9. by   PJRNC2
    Wild earthworms and mad bacteria- That is what Baby Mar (8 Lb. Poodle) has been keeping at bay by her incesent barking. I thought she just didn't like to see red trucks, white trucks, big trucks, little trucks and police cars and anything else that curled her hair! Love this Thread. Cats, Dogs, People and Medicine- great Interests.
  10. by   st4304
    I loved the Dog Haiku!!! I send it to all my dog lover friends, who I am sure are now having a good chuckle today.

    Thanks for brightening an otherwise dreadful day!

    Sherri
  11. by   night owl
    Thanks for the smile! I don't have a dog, but I remember having my dear old friend "Higgins", an english sheep dog for seventeen years. What great memories! It's like having his big old goofy head on my leg as I'm typing this.

    I do have cats, and I especially liked the part about them not being all that bad... tootsie rolls...yummmm, my favorite! NOT!!!

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