Do You Gossip????

  1. Ok..................Does everyone do it? Do you know why you do it?

    Is your gossiping more like complaining or is it more like negative talk?

    How about when you talk positively about someone? Is that Gossip?

    If people gossip about you, does that make it ok for you to gossip?

    I read an article that talks about gossip that says that we gossip because

    we are trying to move up the social ladder. It is part of the social heirarchy.

    I personally do not like to engage in it but I have found myself doing it.

    Any thoughts?
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  2. 36 Comments

  3. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Ok..................Does everyone do it? Do you know why you do it?
    I wouldn't say everyone does it. I don't do it.

    Is your gossiping more like complaining or is it more like negative talk?
    See above answer.

    How about when you talk positively about someone? Is that Gossip?
    If it's fact, it's not gossip.

    If people gossip about you, does that make it ok for you to gossip?
    I really couldn't care less. If they are talking about me, then their own life must be boring.

    I read an article that talks about gossip that says that we gossip because
    we are trying to move up the social ladder. It is part of the social heirarchy.
    Typically, the rungs of the social ladder are people. I want no part of that.
  4. by   yankeesrule
    Good question. I due say that I do gossip. However, it depends on what you mean by gossip. If someone tells me a story and they dont say 'now this is not common knowledge" i pass it along. I sometimes think to myself Keep my mouth shut but when i get with a group of ladies and we are yacking away it happens.

    When I see issues or concerns that I have I speak about them. Is that complaining?? Could be seen as that. Not necessarily meant to be though.

    One thing I do hold faithfully is if I am told something in confidence it is kept confidential. (the above is speaking of only peers, not patients.)

    guilty!
  5. by   Works2xs
    One of the interesting things about gossip is how infectious it can be. Sit and watch a group sometime. One person will start it and before you know, the whole group is just going on about some poor soul(s). Frustration seems to build up in folks like the pressure in a warm coke that's been for a ride on a paint mixer. They want that release and will pile on, even when it isn't particularly productive or kind.

    What's even more interesting is that sometimes all you need is one person in that group to point out that whatever is being said, it's not something that should be the subject of coffee table chit-chat.

    So here's a chance to do some "nursing research." See how the positive influence of a single individual in a group can put the brakes on gossip mongering. Don't wait on someone else to do it; be the independent variable yourself. My experience has been that a gentle reminder of the "golden rule" during such discussions is all it takes. You don't have to be high-n-mighty when you do it - a gentle nudge will usually suffice.

    So feel free to go out and test the hypothesis. Who knows. It might prove true. It might even start a trend in your workplace.
  6. by   Bipley
    Quote from Works2xs
    So here's a chance to do some "nursing research." See how the positive influence of a single individual in a group can put the brakes on gossip mongering. Don't wait on someone else to do it; be the independent variable yourself. My experience has been that a gentle reminder of the "golden rule" during such discussions is all it takes. You don't have to be high-n-mighty when you do it - a gentle nudge will usually suffice.

    So feel free to go out and test the hypothesis. Who knows. It might prove true. It might even start a trend in your workplace.
    I'd have to disagree. It doesn't really stop the gossip, they just wait until you leave the room to continue the conversation.

    However, it does take you out of the situation of hearing it.
  7. by   nurse4theplanet
    Yes I am guilty of gossip. Sometimes it is repeating a juicy story, sometimes it is out of concern for the individual. Sometimes it is negative and mean, and sometimes it is just complaining and frustration. Sometimes it is out of jealousy, and sometimes it is out of boredome. Sometimes I start it, sometimes I just participate, sometimes I end it. I try to keep it in check and make sure I examine my feelings about it...Why am I saying this? Would I say this in front of who I am talking about? How would I like it if they said it about me? I speak fondly of others when something is said that I don't agree with and that nips it in the bud...or at least in front of me as Bipley pointed out. I try to speak more positively than I do negatively because it makes me feel better on the inside. And if I do gossip and it comes back to that person, it makes me feel guilty and I am quick to apologize. A few humbling experiences can really make you change your outlook about gossip. It's best to just stay out of it all together.

    This is the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God

    Brittney
  8. by   weetziebat
    Quote from Bipley
    I'd have to disagree. It doesn't really stop the gossip, they just wait until you leave the room to continue the conversation.
    This is probably very true. However, whatever it takes to get me out of listening to gossip is worth it. As someone pointed out, one observation about someone is enought to get the snowball rolling downhill, getting ever larger and larger, as it picks up speed.

    Also, when you hear people gossiping about others, you can be sure they will do the same about you once you turn your back. Not a nice feeling.

    Because we had so much negative b*tching going on in my last job, they brought in a woman to help with ways to avoid becoming trapped in the mud. She suggested anytime someone starts gossiping to you that you simply ignore them, and they are left just talking to themselves. Eventually, they get the message. This is tough for me to do, cause it makes me feel rude, but I keep practicing, and it does work.
  9. by   ZASHAGALKA
    NO, but let me tell you who does . . .

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
  10. by   Jerico
    Quote from ZASHAGALKA
    NO, but let me tell you who does . . .

    ~faith,
    Timothy.


    It depends on your definition of gossip...and "sexual relations"!
  11. by   labman
    My view on gossip. I used to be huge into gossiping. Everything I could get my nose into I was in. Now when I switched shifts and people started gossiping behind my back and behind other peoples back then when they got to their face be nice and innocent. I really didn't like it. Ever since I saw how much of fools they looked like and how deceptive (sp?) it was I stoped immediately. What someone doesn't want to tell me personally is none of my business. That is my new adopted policy!!!!

    KENT
  12. by   nurse4theplanet
    Quote from labman
    My view on gossip. I used to be huge into gossiping. Everything I could get my nose into I was in. Now when I switched shifts and people started gossiping behind my back and behind other peoples back then when they got to their face be nice and innocent. I really didn't like it. Ever since I saw how much of fools they looked like and how deceptive (sp?) it was I stoped immediately. What someone doesn't want to tell me personally is none of my business. That is my new adopted policy!!!!

    KENT
    yeah, I had a little epiphany moment with the gossip issue when I befiended someone who lives to gossip. We are no longer friends because of it and she has burnt alot of bridges with others for the same reason. Everytime I start to talk about another person, I get this flashback of what it was like to be around her and it puts a sour taste in my mouth. Really helped me kick that habit.
  13. by   Jerico
    Quote from labman
    ....What someone doesn't want to tell me personally is none of my business. That is my new adopted policy!!!!...

    KENT


    GOOD for you! :kiss

    What is it about people who like to spread BAD about others?

    It is weird, but I feel the same way about those rags that tell about "How FAT" some celebrity or another is getting...or show some awful photo of some celebrity at the beach in a less than flattering bikini! OR who is cheating on whom! Why do people BUY this stuff? To DROOL over the negatives of OTHERS lives?

    Seems rather SICK to me!
  14. by   kadokin
    Quote from asoldierswife05
    Yes I am guilty of gossip. Sometimes it is repeating a juicy story, sometimes it is out of concern for the individual. Sometimes it is negative and mean, and sometimes it is just complaining and frustration. Sometimes it is out of jealousy, and sometimes it is out of boredome. Sometimes I start it, sometimes I just participate, sometimes I end it. I try to keep it in check and make sure I examine my feelings about it...Why am I saying this? Would I say this in front of who I am talking about? How would I like it if they said it about me? I speak fondly of others when something is said that I don't agree with and that nips it in the bud...or at least in front of me as Bipley pointed out. I try to speak more positively than I do negatively because it makes me feel better on the inside. And if I do gossip and it comes back to that person, it makes me feel guilty and I am quick to apologize. A few humbling experiences can really make you change your outlook about gossip. It's best to just stay out of it all together.

    This is the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God

    Brittney
    Thank you for being honest. I try to avoid it, but I'm only human. I know better, especially when I find myself listening to, or adding to the talk of some one who is notoriously unreliable. Nevertheless, I confess I do occasionally engage in this vice. When I can, I follow your edict and try to divert attention to something that is work-related. It never ceases to amaze me how folks can eat up valuable time talking about their co-workers when they could be engaged in attending to their pt's. Shame on all of us. One phrase that I have found particularly effective is this: "Do you guys talk about me this way when I'm not around?" It's just too bad that we can't all be a little more grown-up in our relationships... pray for us all.

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