Do I have a right to be mad or am I just being plain jealous?

  1. My husband has a platonic friend whose name happens to be "Julie" also. They met while he was working on a project for her company. (His business is interior decorating/faux painting/murals etc). They got along great and became fast friends.

    She is good looking, divorced (perpetually single, but dating) and very outgoing. Soon enough, we all started hanging out together. We all have a great time together.

    The problem is, she calls him on his cell phone all the time. Most of the calls have to do with things that "women" friends talk about. She also calls him to help her out all the time.. Oh, her computer broke, her printer won't work, her car is making weird sounds...HMMM...Ya know things that a WIFE asks of her husband. She is treading on my turf...My husband will go ahead & try to help her as much as he can.

    Well, I brought this up to my hubby and told him I was uncomfortable with their friendship. He said I am being RIDICULOUS. He said that of course their is nothing going on between them. He was angry that I don't trust him. He also swears that they are only friends.

    I have asked her not to call him on his cell phone. That if she wants to talk, she could call US on our regular phone. I also confronted her and she said the same thing my husband did. So the calls will die down for awhile and then start up again.

    What in the world is going on here? What would you do if you were me? I am trying not to be the jealous wife here..
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  2. 68 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    You want a mans point of view?
  4. by   prn nurse
    WELL .................................................. ...,

    I'm gonna leave this one for the guys to answer.
  5. by   JUSTYSMOM
    I would love to get a man's point of view!
  6. by   LasVegasRN
    Okay, we're all friends here right? That shyt does not FLY. If he cannot honor your request to cease and desist this activity, then he needs to make a choice - it's her or you. Plain and simple. I GUAR-AN-TEE he would NOT accept the same behavior from you.

    On a separate note, I know someone in Memphis who could take care of this lady, just lemme know...
  7. by   amblessing
    I think they are both out of line - and that's coming from a married woman. I would never do that with someone's husband. I wish I could give you helpful advice, but I think you've already done all the things that I would have done! I think it's weird that she did not honor your request to stop calling your hubby on the cell phone more seriously. I'd watch out for her . . . your husband may not be "up to anything" but it sounds like she is
  8. by   Rustyhammer
    In the great scheme of things and in a hypothetical world of perfection you should be able to trust your husband regardless of what sex his friends are.
    But what I hear coming from you is a great intuition and I feel you should follow it.
    He probably is sincere and honest and attracted to her but not interested in her sexually but I also know that these kind of close relationships have a nasty habit of getting out of hand.
    My advice:
    Nip it now before it gets out of control.
    -Russell
  9. by   sunnygirl272
    c'mon, penis-people!!! what's the male point of view....i think this situation smells of something unpleasant.....
  10. by   sunnygirl272
    oops..rusty posted as i was adjusting my font...
  11. by   Glad2behere
    I wouldn't do that to my wife for nothing....heck, my wife would get jealous of the yard if I spent too much time on it! Don't even think about looking to the right or left when you see bodies that jiggle come your way!

    Put his bags on the porch
  12. by   Love-A-Nurse
    i can speak from another perspecitve as a woman. i have just had a male as a friend and there was not anything going "on". in fact, the wife new about our friendship. was he attractive, yes, did he try to "hit" on me, he did say that i was attractive and if the circumstances were different......nothing ever happend and we still remain friends til this day. after a while, it seemed like we were brother and sister. he needed a friend to talk with and i needed one too. many couples do not talk as friends and i know this from experiences.


    if you have been having these feelings for a long time, this is something that needs to be discussed.

    this next statement i am about to make it not directed at you or anyone directly or personally:

    but, sometimes the person who thinks about the other person is cheating, sometimes is the "cheater" (talking, lunch, etc.).
  13. by   Nurse Ratched
    Originally posted by LasVegasRN
    I GUAR-AN-TEE he would NOT accept the same behavior from you.
    Bingo!

    Men look - it is in their nature. When my hubby is out, he looks at other women. This does not bother me because it's just looking and satisfying his male visual urges.

    However, if he developed a personal relationship with another female, even a platonic one, you can bet I'd object. This woman needs to get her own man instead of latching onto someone else's. How would she feel in that position?

    And if you suddenly started getting daily calls for domestic help from some guy, he'd probably have a stroke.

    I'm with Rusty - no sense letting something get out of control. People are not known to make terribly intelligent decisions when hormones factor in.
  14. by   LasVegasRN
    originally posted by lpn,future, rn
    i can speak from another perspecitve as a woman. i have just had a male as a friend and there was not anything going "on". in fact, the wife new about our friendship. was he attractive, yes, did he try to "hit" on me, he did say that i was attractive and if the circumstances were different......nothing ever happend and we still remain friends til this day. after a while, it seemed like we were brother and sister. he needed a friend to talk with and i needed one too. many couples do not talk as friends and i know this from experiences.
    agree, lpn. but the difference here is that she asked this woman not to call her husband so much and on his cell phone, but she continues to do it anyway.

    i think some purse holding is in order.

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