Tigger2sassy, my deepest sympathies are with you.
I lost my Mom when I was 8, now my Dad died June 29th- almost 4 weeks ago. At least he is free of his end stage COPD and being hooked up to O2 24/7.....
I have a strong Christian belief that the dead have moved on to a better life; we are left to deal with the loss and the hole in OUR lives.
We all deal with the loss of a loved one (especially a parent) in our own way: my older sister is still sobbing whenever we talk; I didn't cry when I got the news; my one brother (who just got out of treatment) is back on the bottle again..... I don't know about the rest of my siblings. I received an email from my stepmother that Dad's ashes are out in his shop/studio (we called it BS Country) on the poker table, waiting til I get out there so we can scatter the ashes in Sept. She thought his ashes belonged in BS Country on the poker table as a fitting memorial!
He was an athiest, so they had a kegger in his honor as a memorial service!!!!!
I was out East at the time, I had my daughter go out West to be with the rest of my family; but I understand how hurt you must feel that they never notified you about his death-- I was never notified about my Dad's hospitalization on Fathers' Day either. Have you asked why they didn't inform you of his death?
May God's love help heal your pain.