dating daughters

  1. Feel free to print this out for your own personal use!


    Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
    accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
    lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

    Name:________________________ Date of Birth:_________________
    Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:__________
    Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #: Number:_______
    Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:___________________
    Home Address:__________________________________________ ____
    City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________

    1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
    If "No", explain:

    2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
    Any brothers or sisters? ____
    Are they normal? ____

    3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
    A truck with oversize tires? ____
    A waterbed? ____

    4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

    5. Do you have a tattoo? ____

    If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue
    application and leave immediately.

    6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

    7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter
    mean to you?

    8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

    9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

    10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
    How often do you attend: ____________________________

    11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father
    and priest/rabbi?__________________________

    12. Please fill in the blanks:

    a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want
    wounded would be my ____________________________

    b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would
    be my_____________________________

    c. A woman's place is in the ____________________________

    d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is

    e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her
    first is______________________________

    Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave
    premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
    fashion is advised.

    13. What do you want to be if you grow up?

    I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of
    my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment,
    torture or mental abuse.
    Signature of applicant _________________________________
    Signature of father _____________________________________
    Signature of mother ____________________________________
    Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
    Signature of State Representative _________________________

    Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and

    Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in
    writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't
    call me, I'll call you.
  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   cactus wren
    Wonderful!! I sent it on to my oldest son...his "baby" girl just turned 14, and he`s getting the shotgun all greased up !!!
  4. by   Lausana
    :chuckle My dad would enjoy that, poor man has all daughters! ...except my "worst" boyfriend would've slipped past that quiz, it's always the slick ones
  5. by   NurseDianne's printing off as I type. I thought it would be easier this go round. When my oldest got married last August I thought I would die!!! Now my baby will be 15 in 2 weeks. And God help me she looks 18. So far......... :spin: they are both wonderful girls. But Casey, my baby has found true love.........OMG........and to make matters's my oldest ones brother in law..........OMG......... time I see that fella........he gets the app!!!
  6. by   Spidey's mom
    Oh my gosh the timing is great for this . . . I just printed it out and my 20 year old son is filling it out for the parents of his girlfriend. They are on their way here with their daughter, who is traveling to So. Cal this afternoon with my son to look at colleges and visit friends at college and also visit my son's grandparents.

    How very funny. We have their trip very tightly planned and have had "the talk" with both of them.

    Fortunately both have made vows of abstinence until marriage. I hope, I hope, I hope,
  7. by   nurse-in-boots
    Geez... what I have to look forward to. Good thing I have a few years (like 10) to prepare!