Courage to change -- nurses in recovery!!!!!!!!!

  1. post amended 1/2/06 to reflect recent changes:



    Hey guys, was on another thread and thought it might be nice to have a little "meeting place" -- let's try not to quibble about the "right" way to recover, just celebrated 20 years sobriety with SEVERE mental health issues recently, but doing great, see update!

    http://allnurses.com/forums/f98/requ...ce-134249.html

    Curious to re-juvenate some of these good threads, please fill out the survey, no one will know who you are! xo






    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------etc. Here's a little excerpt from what I'd written:



    ..."It ain't about bad people getting good, it's about sick people getting WELL, and even AA suggests that if one needs "outside" help he/she shouldn't hesitate.

    The God thing (again, LOL!) -- some recommend using GOD as an acronym - G.O.D. being "Group Of Drunks" or "Good Orderly Direction"

    For me personally, it's ALL good.

    There's two ways to look at what happens. A person finds him/herself hitting bottom (this of course doesn't apply to those who make a counting error) and his/her disease, or pain, convinces him that he has a problem. That isn't a bad thing, that's a GOOD thing! It means the only way you can go is UP -- it usually takes a crisis (even if it IS the BON sitting on someone) to convince someone they need help -- God knows, if they are still enjoying it, and it causes no pain, who's gonna want to stop?

    The way I personally looked at it, in hindsight of course (for I wasn't too happy when I was forced to stop drinking and drugging) was that God had paved the way, throughout my life, for my life to change. No, I didn't believe in God at first, but it became clear after the fog lifted that He had something to do with what was happening to me. Anyway, stuff that happened to me in childhood, as a young adult, every drink, every drug, my suicide attempt, ALL of these worked in tandem to bring me to a point where I was on my knees (literally, as in "kneeling before the porcelain God, the White Throne", and spiritually -- admitting that my life was a mess and that I couldn't manage it on my own any longer). Every one of those things that happened were necessary! to enable me to finally look at who I was and why I was "here".

    So again, hitting bottom was a GOOD thing -- and now 18 years later I have had a child, gotten back into nursing, mended long-gone family relationships, experienced what "love" is (haven't gotten the final answer on THAT one yet, LOL!), become the writer I always dreamed of becoming, and most important, found a God of my OWN understanding "who loves me just the way I am, and loves me too much to leave me that way" (that's a Max Lucado paraphrase BTW).


    ...Good luck and God (or HP ) bless to you all!
    Last edit by Liddle Noodnik on Jan 2, '06
    •  
  2. Poll: I am (may choose more than one answer)

    • In recovery from alcoholism and/or drug addiction

      41.67% 5
    • In recovery from family addiction issues

      33.33% 4
    • Curious!

      16.67% 2
    • Baffled and confused, LOL!

      16.67% 2
    12 Votes / Multiple Choice
  3. 4 Comments

  4. by   VivaLasViejas
    I've been in recovery (from ETOH) for 12 1/2 years now, and I was one of the lucky ones........I never had to hit bottom, the bottom came up and hit ME before I did any permanent damage to my health, family, relationships, or legal status. It actually was very simple: on New Year's Eve 1991, I realized that my drinking was truly out of control, and that I had to end it---no excuses, no "cutting down", I was done.

    What wasn't simple was maintaining sobriety; I'd never realized that being a binge drinker---not a "full-time" drunk---had affected every area of my life, and the fact that it had was hard to get used to. I'd thought it was only one part of my life that I could compartmentalize and deal with in its own context, but the truth of it was, every aspect of my existence had been colored by it. It took me all of the first few years of my sobriety to work through that, but once I got it, staying sober was easier. No more "stinkin' thinkin'", no more dry drunks where I did everything wrong EXCEPT take a drink.

    That's not to say it's become a no-brainer......even today, I can't relax my vigilance for even a minute, because that urge is still there and I know now it will never completely go away. There are still times when I want a drink so badly that I can literally taste it (a thought that gets banished FAST), and nights when I dream about drinking and then feel so grateful when I wake up that I didn't actually do it!

    In the early years, I used to think I was doing this for my loved ones, that if something terrible happened to them I'd drink myself to death inside of six months because I'd have lost my reason for staying sober. Now I have enough inner resources that I don't have to have other people to keep me motivated, although I certainly wouldn't want that assertion tested!! Suffice it to say that I have a good life, and it's good because I'm sober.
  5. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from mjlrn97
    That's not to say it's become a no-brainer......even today, I can't relax my vigilance for even a minute, because that urge is still there and I know now it will never completely go away. There are still times when I want a drink so badly that I can literally taste it (a thought that gets banished FAST), and nights when I dream about drinking and then feel so grateful when I wake up that I didn't actually do it!

    ...Suffice it to say that I have a good life, and it's good because I'm sober.
    Really good to hear you! Hey you gave me flashbacks of my flashbacks talking about those dang drunk dreams (shudder). Fortunately I don't HAVE them too often!
  6. by   Liddle Noodnik
    original post amended 1/2/06 to reflect recent changes:



    Hey guys, was on another thread and thought it might be nice to have a little "meeting place" -- let's try not to quibble about the "right" way to recover, just celebrated 20 years sobriety with SEVERE mental health issues recently, but doing great, see update!

    http://allnurses.com/forums/f98/requ...ce-134249.html

    Curious to re-juvenate some of these good threads, please fill out the survey, no one will know who you are! xo





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------etc. Here's a little excerpt from what I'd written:



    ..."It ain't about bad people getting good, it's about sick people getting WELL, and even AA suggests that if one needs "outside" help he/she shouldn't hesitate.

    The God thing (again, LOL!) -- some recommend using GOD as an acronym - G.O.D. being "Group Of Drunks" or "Good Orderly Direction"

    For me personally, it's ALL good.

    There's two ways to look at what happens. A person finds him/herself hitting bottom (this of course doesn't apply to those who make a counting error) and his/her disease, or pain, convinces him that he has a problem. That isn't a bad thing, that's a GOOD thing! It means the only way you can go is UP -- it usually takes a crisis (even if it IS the BON sitting on someone) to convince someone they need help -- God knows, if they are still enjoying it, and it causes no pain, who's gonna want to stop?

    The way I personally looked at it, in hindsight of course (for I wasn't too happy when I was forced to stop drinking and drugging) was that God had paved the way, throughout my life, for my life to change. No, I didn't believe in God at first, but it became clear after the fog lifted that He had something to do with what was happening to me. Anyway, stuff that happened to me in childhood, as a young adult, every drink, every drug, my suicide attempt, ALL of these worked in tandem to bring me to a point where I was on my knees (literally, as in "kneeling before the porcelain God, the White Throne", and spiritually -- admitting that my life was a mess and that I couldn't manage it on my own any longer). Every one of those things that happened were necessary! to enable me to finally look at who I was and why I was "here".

    So again, hitting bottom was a GOOD thing -- and now 18 years later I have had a child, gotten back into nursing, mended long-gone family relationships, experienced what "love" is (haven't gotten the final answer on THAT one yet, LOL!), become the writer I always dreamed of becoming, and most important, found a God of my OWN understanding "who loves me just the way I am, and loves me too much to leave me that way" (that's a Max Lucado paraphrase BTW).


    ...Good luck and God (or HP ) bless to you all!
    __________________
    In some cases, RN stands for "Registered Nut" - as in ... "She's so bipolar she's ELECTRIC !!!" But you can tell your husbands' brothers: "she has a "NICE PERSONALITY!!" It's all about mental HEALTH, not ILLNESS, sweetie! xo
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Long history of family addiction issues here----I have alcoholic parents, had alcoholic grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, you name it. I am so lucky not to be an addict myself---except to approval and food, if you can count those. I wish all who are in recovery and trying to be, the best. It's horrible, what a monkey on the back for all involved.

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